*Note* I am very tired, and apologise for any missed spelling/grammar errors.
The next day, while Adrian is away at the institute again, I leave the apartment to find the nearest doctor.
I feel brave in the city, I feel bold and not so afraid of what may be lurking in the shadows.
At the doctor’s office, I explain what happened and they examine my arm, claiming that there seems to be nothing wrong. After an x-ray, the doctor brings me back into her office and claims that my arm is fine and not broken or damaged in the slightest.
“American doctors,” she scoffs in Romanian as she sets to removing the cast.
When I try to pay I am informed that it has already been ‘handled’.
That’s when I find Alec, standing in the shade acting inconspicuously
“How are you out in the daylight?” I ask as I step close to him.
“Some vampires have a high immunity to the sun,” he says, though he is dressed in heavy clothes and holds an umbrella under his arm.
“Why did you pay for that?” I ask as he opens the umbrella and walks with me.
“Your father did,” he says nonchalantly, “not me.”
“My father,” I echo, remembering the reason I wanted to come to Romania in the first place, “Is he here?”
“No,” Alec says as I look around, hoping that I would remember my father by sight, “he couldn’t be here.”
“Care for some lunch?” Alec asks, gesturing to a café across the street, “This I’ll pay for.”
As Alec walks off, I know I should walk the other way, I know that I shouldn’t follow a vampire, I shouldn’t be so comfortable and trusting of the night creatures.
Never the less, I find myself crossing the street, trailing after Alec and walking through the door he holds open for me. We sit at the back of the café, far from the windows.
“I know my arm was broken,” I say softly, keeping my voice from prying ears, “Why is it healed now, after less than a week? Did you give me your blood?”
“Do you want to know?” Alec asks, his eyes watching every move I make.
I shake my head, not needing an answer I already know.
“Thank you,” I say, “for helping, but in the future, I would prefer that you keep your blood to yourself.”
Alec raises an eyebrow at me and then nods his head as he sits back in his chair.
“I have a favour to ask,” he says, crossing a leg over his knee, “There is a plane coming in next week, one with a passenger compelled by Thana.”
The name causes a shiver to shoot down my spine and my heart starts to race.
“Thana isn’t here,” Alec clarifies, “she isn’t bold enough to return. But she is sending a human here as a sacrifice to another vampire, one hosting a banquet where he and several other vampires will feast on humans, killing them. I need you to point her out to that hunter boyfriend of yours.”
“He’s not... wait, why?”
“Because the hunters to be notified of this vampire and they need to extinguish him from the earth.”
“Why can’t you do it?” I ask.
“Because he is somewhat protected by a sort of diplomatic immunity,” Alec explains as he sips the coffee that was placed in front of him, “I cannot get close to this vampire and neither can my master.”
“That’s enough questions, little one,” Alec says, “she will be in Romania in the early hours of the morning, and she will cross that road-” he points to the road right outside the café, “at seven-fifteen next Friday.”
My eyes are still focused on the road, I don’t see Alec disappear, he disappears, leaving only a small stack of money behind to pay for lunch.
Instead of going straight home, I return to the mall Adrian took me to yesterday, this time unaccompanied and free to pick the type of sheets I want without offending Adrian and his choices.
When I return home, Adrian is waiting, he sits across from the door, his arms folded over his chest and a worried look on his face.
“Where were you?” he asks, standing as I come through the door.
“Shopping,” I say, holding up the bags for effect.
“Alone?” he asks, though he should already know the answer, “Rowy that’s dangerous.”
“I... how is it dangerous?”
“What if someone working for Thana had found you and took you?”
“You said I was safe here.”
“You are,” he sighs, taking my hands in his, “When you’re with me. You shouldn’t go out without me, I can’t protect you if you’re alone.”
“So I’m not allowed to go out alone ever?” I ask, my bottom lip trembling.
“Eventually you will,” he promises, pulling me closer, “I just want to make sure that you are safe.”
“I’m sorry,” I sigh as he holds me, “I don’t mean to worry you.”
“It’s ok,” he says, stroking my hair, “Just promise me that you will stay.”
Next thing I know, Adrian is tipping my chin up and his lips are on mine.
It’s not awful, I’ve defiantly had worse kisses, his kiss is soft and tastes like strawberries, it makes my heart stop and beat erratically at the same time. I’ve not had many kisses in my life; I’m not sure of the feelings now swirling in my chest, but I don’t hate it and I don’t push him away.
“Promise me,” Adrian says, breaking the kiss but keeping his lips a breath away.
“I promise,” I say, breathless yet still yearning for more.
Adrian kisses me again, this time the kiss is deeper, his tongue flicks past my lips and presses against mine.
I drop the shopping bags and wrap my arms around the back of his neck. My tongue moves against his and he grabs my thigh to pull it up to his hip.
Adrian pushes me back, he keeps pushing until my back is pressed against the door and his hips grind against mine.
A deep blush covers my cheeks as I feel Adrian, I feel him press against me and it floods my stomach with a warmth, unlike anything I’ve ever felt.
Right before Adrian can reach for the buttons of my shirt, his phone rings loudly, causing him to curse as he retrieves his phone from his pocket.
“I’ll be right there,” he growls into the phone after a moment.
He then turns back to me, his deep blue eyes swirl with irritation as he keeps me pinned against the door.
“There is a hunt tonight,” he says, his hands returning to my hips, “I have to go and prepare.”
Adrian doesn’t move, he stares at me hungrily before he places his lips to my cheek.
“We will pick this up later,” he promises.
Adrian lets me go, going up to his room to change while I retreat to the bathroom to gather my thoughts.
In the shower, I let the steaming water wash over my shoulders, and through my hair.
What happened was unexpected, but it reached down into a part of me that yearned for attention and craved to be touched. And Adrian touched me in all the right ways before we were interrupted.
However, the thought of going further, of him going further, has me cringing as memories of years of torture surface.
Adrian is a man, a man who’s tasted what he wanted and wants more, I should make an effort for him, he has been so kind and generous to me, denying what he needs would be cruel.
So, while in the shower, I touch myself. My hand caresses and cups my own breast, echoing what other men would do, I’ve never touched myself, I’ve never been given the chance to.
I let my mind wander, I let it drift off and think of things pleasurable.
“What is pleasurable to me?” I ask myself as my fingers pinch at my nipples.
“Row!” Adrian calls out after a sharp knock to the door, “I’m going.”
“Oh, ok!” I call back, my hands flying off my body as if I had been caught doing something wrong.
I hear Adrian leave, I hear the door shut but my heart can’t stop racing. The thought of touching myself feels wrong, I’ve been taught that pleasure is something that I am not allowed to feel.
I finish my shower cold, letting the ice water calm my hot nerves. After making and eating dinner, I make sure all the doors and windows are locked before retreating to my newly refurbished room.
I pull out my phone, letting the screen light my face.
After some mindless fiddling with pointless games, I switch over to the internet and as my cheeks redden as I type in some words that pull up a racy page littered with naked bodies.
I pick a video, one where two lovers are kissing and touching each other, which leads to them fucking, at first slowly, then quite roughly.
The video stirs something within me and my legs spread. I watch the video, my eyes taking in every close up and my ears listening to every soft, passionate moan.
My hand goes between my legs, my fingers slowly touching and testing what might feel good.
After a moment of curious stroking and prodding, I switch to another video, one where a woman is doing what I am hoping to achieve. But the video panders to a male’s eye, her movements aren’t realistic and when I try to copy, it’s painful and irritating.
I flick from video to video until I find one witch a more informative take. With a little bit of experimenting and a little bit of teaching, I find my own rhythm and suddenly holding my phone is a nuisance.
My hips buck and my head tips back as goosebumps cover my skin and my nipples perk. As my heart begins to race, my toes curl and I can’t help myself as my voice sings out in ecstasy.
Suddenly, my body becomes pure light as what I can only assume is an orgasm, floods through me, warming my blood as my hips lift of the bed.
It hits light lightning and recedes like a tsunami, pure unmeasurable bliss fills me, pulsing down my abdomen and through my legs.
Afterwards, I lay still, my body still tingling in the afterglow, there’s a smile on my face as my hands continue to mindlessly cup and paw at my breast, finding ebbing pleasure in the sensation.
However, when I think of doing... that, with Adrian, my bliss is taken and I sit up in bed puzzling over the thought of Adrian touching me.
I know he wants to, I’ve been trained to tell a man’s every desire just by looking at him. And Adrian wants me, possibly since the first time. He has had a taste of sex, and now he wants more and I’m not sure I want the same.
When I come home, it’s one in the morning, I find dinner in the fridge with my name scrawled on a note in Rowy’s elegant handwriting.
Once again, the meal is delicious, and exactly what I need after a rough hunt that resulted in a long chase and no kill.
After dinner, I make my way to my room, needing to be embraced by my bed. As I pass Rowaelin’s room, I pause and look to her door.
What if she’s not there?
I crack open the door slowly, letting the hall light flood into the room to illuminate the bed. Rowy is in bed, she lays tangled in the sheets, half under the covers, half exposed.
My eyes wander over her tantalising leg, pale and smooth, peeking out from under the covers; teasing and beckoning me closer.
I am ashamed by how hard I become at just looking at her perfect leg. Ever since the first time, I haven’t had much control over my emotions or over my wandering mind that dreams of Rowaelin in my bed.
I have to control myself, she doesn’t deserve my boyish pining. I stay by the threshold, my eyes on her soft features while she is far away in a dream, I hope it’s a good one.
My heart is beating so fast, seeing her here, feeling safe enough to sleep at night, it makes me feel a flurry of emotions. I want her to feel this way forever, I want her here forever.
I love her, I’d never say it out loud, not yet, but I love Rowaelin. She is everything I’ve ever needed, she is the piece of me that I have been missing for years, with her here I am happy.
But with her growing confidence, comes the realisation that she may one day leave. She may wish for more than I can give and if I hold her too tightly that time may come sooner rather than later.
I’m afraid to lose her, I’m afraid to be without her, so I know that I must be better for her, I have to be everything she needs