Get Free Copy

100 free copies left

This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.

Free copy left
You can read our best books
Sarah Louise would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

With the Devil on Your Shoulder

By Sarah Louise All Rights Reserved ©

Thriller / Horror

Chapter 1

She'd never really been a bad mother, in fact the idea never had crossed his mind until that day at the store. The one day that started it all.



"Momma, I like that one, it's red and the lights turn on when you press a button!"

"I'm sorry sweetheart, you can't get it today, maybe some other time."

She had smiled at him regretfully and though the boy usually would understand, or at least grudgingly keep quiet the man next to him had said something that made sense... sort of.

"Hey kid, if you really want it, just tell her, why should she be able to decide everything, hell, why should she decide anything?"

"Why are you the boss? I want it, I never get toys!"

The frazzled young woman had taken a moment to recover from the shock of his outburst before setting a stern face and growling at the boy unrelentingly that it was time to go as she dragged him from the store, nearly kicking and screaming.



After that the man had stayed, he never told his mom, because she never brought it up, even when the man broke rules; such as not wearing a seat belt and putting his feet on the table.

There was also the detail of his appearance. Though he looked fairly normal at a glance the small boy quickly picked out differences. Some where simple and not so alarming, such as his extraordinary height, nearly towering above anyone else he walked past, or the way he always had a lit cigarette in his mouth, or his spiffy suit, somehow looking businesslike and messy at the same time.

After that came the stomach churning surprises, kept hidden longer thanks to the massive height difference.

The mans eyes were most outstanding, seeming inverted with the normally white part an eternal black and his iris the oozing color of blood. Aside from that, although he looked plenty young to the five year old he had oddly white hair that seemed to almost glimmer.

The boy put the strange things aside though, for the man seemed to be on his side, and he'd heard other children talk about their own invisible friends that sounded just as strange as the tall man.

And indeed, the tall man was very helpful the boy had been able to gain much of what he wanted with his help, though he'd also gotten a good amount of punishment for his behavior.

"I just don't know what's gotten into you, I thought rebellion was for teenagers. You'll have to shape up, otherwise your grounded, that means no more staying up late, no eating whatever you want and you will behave yourself in public. Do you understand?"

The boy nodded his head, he understood, but he didn't agree, so long as he has the tall man he would get whatever he pleased.

One night as he lay restlessly in his bed with the man lounging on his desk, leant back lazily against the wall with his legs spread on either side of a small chair, he thought of something.

"What's your name?"

The man glanced up and even that thought annoyed the boy.

'The man' he didn't have a name, not yet, and he had decided to figure it out.

"What do you need my name for, it's not like you're gonna use it."

"What's your name?"

The boy repeated his question more forcefully than before, staring at the man as he knelt in his bed, the blanket pooling around his waist.

The man grinned, his cigarette bobbing and his strange eyes gleamed with excitement.

"My friends call me Luke, or Lucy if they're looking to die, but most people know me by Lucifer."

The meaning of his name was lost on the child, and he simply glanced at him, staring silently at the devil, waiting for the punchline.

When Lucifer refused to offer him an explanation the child reluctantly went to sleep.

 All secrets cannot be revealed at the beginning of the show...

Write a Review Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, Sarah Louise
Continue Reading
Further Recommendations

Resting-Madness: I've been in love that strongly, that I could see myself in the same situation as Surgio. The slow crawl of desperation was well depicted, I could feel myself leaning close to the screen, like he and I were conspiring together on how to construct this Frankenstein of Adela. And that's written thr...

Caitlin E. Jones: Such a riveting short story, full to the brim with folklore and horrors! The rich details used to make up Doolin were as well-placed as they were written, right down to the disturbing presence of magical creatures. The lives of the humans are used to great effect, giving us short glimpses of thei...

Kastril Nomenclature: This is a very clever story in the style of 19th century (and turn of the century) Gothic writing, very reminiscent of Stevenson's The Body Snatchers or even of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (less so of Frankenstein itself, since the author is more minimalist than Shelley's florid, Romantic rhetoric). ...

AJDay: Hello JaimePAvane,So, this is my first review on this site, and I am glad I found your story. I like where you are going with it and I am curious to see what future chapters look like. Firstly, your narrator; I love that she is describing not just her life but the world around her. Obviously a wo...

pikagirl311: Katie Masters has definite skill when it comes to plot work and characters. The story is well-paced and pulls you along with the tide, keeping you hooked until the very end. The only reason I did not give it five stars across the board is due to a few minor quibbles with misspellings and such lik...

Alex Rushmer: I like the intrigue that you introduce from the very beginning of the story. The idea of the girl waking up in the alley with no memory of how she got there and with injuries is very interesting. It was very well done. There were a lot of grammatical errors that need to be fixed though. I think t...

Alex Reltin: This is a great story! I love how well you go into detail and emotions of Capri, and Mel. You have amazing dialogue and overall it's just a thrill to read!The only critique I could find is that some of the paragraphs should be separated. For example:-"If Nia would have just let me take the car an...

Deleted User: You put a lot of effort into this story, and in some places the detail is lovely. The beginning is really good. There is a lot of good detail in the first paragraphs. I get a good feel for his confusion.But I am lost in the back story. I have no idea where this is going. Perhaps mention someone y...

Girl on Fire: Great story, line Alex!!!It really has a edge on it. It put me on edge with its thrill. Can't wait to read the rest.!!!

This story wasn't for you ?
Look at our most viral stories!

FreakyPoet: "you made me laugh, made me cry, both are hard to do. I spent most of the night reading your story, captivated. This is why you get full stars from me. Thanks for the great story!"

The Cyneweard

Sara Joy Bailey: "Full of depth and life. The plot was thrilling. The author's style flows naturally and the reader can easily slip into the pages of the story. Very well done."

This story wasn't for you ?
Look at our most viral story!

Ro-Ange Olson: "Loved it and couldn't put it down. I really hope there is a sequel. Well written and the plot really moves forward."