Chapter 9 Herberta
When i gave birth to love i could tell she was going to be a happy child and beautiful one day. Like her grandmother before her. As i was breast feeding my first daughter, i cried with joy....much like when james and i made love for the first time in the medical laboratory. This was the second person in my life that i intensly loved only i would protect her with my life. I would work part time as that i didnt want to lose her like my mom my sister. As she grew up love looked more like her grandfather more then hee mother or grandmother. I thought i could bot love her but knew it was postpartum depression. So i tried to keep my spirits high and did my job as both a mother and medical examiner.
Everythung was going fine... until james and i came home from a romantic night in his office and i detected the smell if death and decomp.
As i turned on the light i so the decomposing zombie of my father herbert west as he was holding my baby who was scared shitless as she some him. I told him to leave love along if he wanted to be burried again in one piece.
"I just wanted to see my darling granddaughter before i go off to hell," my father said. "I might take her soul with me to hell."
Terrified i grapped the baby and james stabbed the zombie before he could kill my daughter. James told me to stay upstairs with the baby until he was done with my undead father.
I heard a struggle and then what sounded familiar, a body being cut up as i held my petrified dsughter.
I put her in her crib and when i heard james say that he destroyed the zombie i was releaved and went down stairs.
If only one would believe me that i was traumatized and that what experienced in my life was believeble...maybe i would have gotten some help with my PTSD.
Which james diagnosed me with a few weeks later but couldn't do much as i was his wife. Conflict of interest. Though he supported me as much as possible. He thought he could heal me with love and passion.
But when love was 6 years old i couldnt take it anymore and attempted suicide by cutting my wrists. I lost so much blood that i pasted out on the autopsy room floor. But someone found me and toom me into the hospital were i was treated for a year inpatient and few years out patient.
I found that art and photography particularly drawing and coloring had a good effect on my life.
I soon had to leave DC and james to go to new York to get out of that environment. Though he never knew. We made love in his office at the clinic for the night......told him that i wasnt going to see him again.
The next morning after my second morning sickness i took love and went to the airport and flew to JFK and moved to Manhattan. Where i took up the job as a tattoo artist give my self therapy yet get paid doing it.
It paid good mobey and i was able to spoil my daughters love and Mitchell (month old) with out any problems. Though i dare not to look for love i wanted to be show my girls that i was a strong amazonian woman who can raise her kids with out the help of another man or woman. I was fed up with love and romance. The only love i wanted was my daughter who was named that. Other than that nothing. Its called being a role model.
Over the years i couldn't take my girls out for Halloween because i had panic attacks about zombies or pedophiles grabbing at my daughters and every year i explained that too them. Soon we never batted an eye at halloween not even the Simpson's tree house of horror specials.
Then one halloween as i was checking my email i found that i had one from james. It said that he missed us me in particular and that he was dying of cancer and that he wanted the girls to be tested.
I told him that i loved him dearlybut had to mive on with my life. He had to go on it alone.
The his next message said that he wanted to spend his last days with his family. Which i told him fine. He took his practice up to where we lived and had his treatments there until he died. That was the plan. The girls had a fit obe they heard that i was going to be bring in to my life and heart. But soon they warmed up to the idea. Though i did not want them to get ride of the artists eye.