Killer Obits

By Forrest Schultz All Rights Reserved ©

Horror / Thriller

Prologue

Please do not ask me how it works: I have this special radio which is able to pick up super- remote (and super- small) radio stations. Last week as I was moving the dial at random I happened to pick up the beginning of a broadcast by a station calling itself “Podunk Radio Coming To You From Out Here In The Boondocks”. The announcer then stated that “the program you are about to hear is the first in a series of very important ones, to be broadcast daily, about the subject of Killer Obits, that is, of obituaries that do not inform us of deaths, but rather obits which announce deaths in advance because they themselves CAUSE the deaths!! In style each of them is a combination of journalism and sermon. Each of them purports to be a live recording of the message delivered to the target audience indicated.

The first of these followed immediately after this introductory statement. It was delivered to all criminals and terrorists, and, like a sermon it warned them to immediately repent (or “you shall surely die!”), and like a report on the CBS Evening News With Scott Pelley, it was short and to the point. After this terse warning/promise all across the world there were reports of criminals and terrorists who repented and of many others who suddenly died from no known medical cause.

This same pattern then was repeated daily with each one aimed at a special group of bad guys. And the results were similar. After the killer obit directed at Communists was sent to all Commies, a few repented and the rest were executed, with such results as the Chinese fully repudiating Communism and the North Koreans doing likewise and announcing plans to reunite with South Korea. When the killer obit directed at false religions was sent, most rejected it and were slain while many repented and sought out Christian churches and missionaries to learn Christianity. Similarly with the next obit aimed at Humanists – some repented, and some did not.


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