Don't Leave Me Alone
Hiro was walking while looking down. It's only been one day since the incident happened. Since Hiro killed Maiko.
Hiro didn't even respond to Mika's text that went on all day. He sat down and covered his face in a bench by the side walk. Hiro took a deep breath before finally taking out his phone.
"Hiro, are you there?" The first message read. "Hiro answer me, are you okay," Hiro kept going down. "Hiro please, I need to hear from you." Hiro's eyes widened, "Maiko is dead Hiro." The messaging ended.
Hiro's heart sank and he cringed. He shivered and wiped the small tears. He was her boyfriend, even if this breaks them must do what he must to comfort her.
Hiro got up and headed to school. Once he was by the gate. He saw the sadness in the school. Although Maiko was a jerk, he was still known and friends with many.
Hiro gulped and walked. There wasn't anyone looking at him. He saw a couple of girls crying and some guys mourning quietly. It was sadness through the air. The sadness only stabbed Hiro's already broken heart.
Hiro then saw Mika talking to some of her friends. He turned around and looked up scared.
"I can't believe he's gone…" Mika was sounding like she is trying to hold in her tears. "I wanted… I wanted us to be at good terms…" Mika sobbed.
Hiro grabbed his chest and held in his tears. "I know I don't love him, but I cared… I wish I didn't say those last words… I wish I didn't tell him to go away."
Hiro was shaking while gritting his teeth. He had little tears holding in. He just gasped and ran off while Mika was being comforted by her friends.
Hiro got into an empty bathroom and Hiro started to cry. He couldn't hold it in anymore. The fact that he murdered three people and Mika is in tears because of his fault. Hiro sobbed and looked at himself in the mirror.
He saw his blue left eye. He was angry. He knew something was wrong, but he didn't know why.
"Damn it…" Hiro fell down while trying to hold the sink. "Why? What did I do to deserve this?" Hiro asked and sobbed. "What did I do…?"
Hiro was just looking in the mirror waiting for the monster form to come out. He shivered and covered his face. He cried and sobbed. He wanted it all to end, the nightmare, "Why is this happening?"
The bell rang and Hiro looked up. He wiped his tears. It was too much. He couldn't go to class. He couldn't face Mika up front.
Hiro got out of the bathroom and was heading to the roof. He ran past students before going up the stairway. Once at the top, he threw his bag pack down and then leaned back on the wall against the door.
Hiro was just sitting in the roof. He wasn't sobbing, but he didn't have the energy to get up. Hiro didn't even want to attend school. It was too hard. How could he face people that cared for a guy he murdered yesterday?
"But he tried to kill you… shouldn't they be crying for me?" Hiro grabbed his head which had different emotions going on. "I didn't mean to…" Hiro sobbed.
"What's wrong with me…?" Hiro sniffed and cried lightly. "Why is this happening? What's wrong with me? What's wrong with my body?"
Hiro kept on sobbing and only covered his body, He didn't want to go through this pain. This pain of beings surrounded by death. Hiro wiped his tears and looked down.
Hiro calmed and looked through his bag pack. He took out Bird's Sky and began to read.
He stopped crying and only sitting down leaning against the wall. The bell rang which signified that the class ended.
Hiro looked to the side and he had a cold feeling. He didn't want to go to school and just wait for all his classes to be over so he could go home.
Hiro wished it all was a nightmare. He could bang his head and then wake up.
He wishes he could wake up in class and just be surrounded by Ryoku. Hiro looked up and took out his cell phone. He dialed Ryoku's number and waited for an answer.
"Hey Hiro! You know you should be in class?" Ryoku fun attitude made Hiro happy a bit.
"I know… I don't feel like going." Hiro spoke softly.
"Well okay… is it because of the news of Maiko?" Ryoku asked and Hiro's eyes widened.
"You know about the death?" Hiro asked.
"Yeah I do," Ryoku got a bit serious. It was all over the radio. "I just can't believe the horrible death he experienced." Ryoku said and Hiro winced in pain.
"Y-Yeah…" Hiro tried to hold in his sobs. Hiro gulped, "Mika is in tears… what… what should I do?"
"Why are you asking me, you're her boyfriend," Ryoku argued and Hiro shook. "Really… just let her talk to you. You're her boyfriend and she's an orphan. Other than her friends, she doesn't have many people to talk to. Skipping class doesn't help either."
"I'm sorry," Hiro responded and Ryoku sighed loud.
"Look Hiro, you must be feeling guilty..." Ryoku asked and Hiro's eyes widened. Hiro thought Ryoku figured it out or knows, "that you might have been the cause of his death because he left school early."
Hiro looked down, "yeah…" Hiro lied, but how could he not? Hiro then took a pause. "Ryoku… when is the earliest you can come back home?" Hiro asked.
"Oh, like in two days, why?" Ryoku asked and Hiro tightened his fist.
"I want to tell you something… something important. I want you to know…" Hiro wanted to admit it. He wanted to let out the fact that he was the one who murdered Maiko, his neighbor and the murderer. Hiro didn't care the consequences, but he just wanted his close friend to know.
"O-Okay…" Ryoku sounded unsure, "I'll try to be there in two days then. Need to work on things with my dad." Ryoku laughed, "he's pissed at me because I put a whoopee cushion on my grandmother's chair."
Hiro got a smile and he finally laughed. "You stupid idiot, you know you shouldn't do that."
"Oh don't be such a mother!" Ryoku laughed and Hiro covered his mouth to not laugh. "I'll see then brother, well you need to go so bye" Ryoku said with a smile.
"Yeah… brother… bye." Hiro chuckled and hung up. He leaned back against the wall. He took a look of the sky. Even the talk with Ryoku didn't change the fact that he was broken. He was going to comfort Mika now.
Hiro got up and the door beside him opened. He looked and his eyes widened upon seeing Mika. Mika had red eyes which signified tears.
"Mika…" Hiro said and the first thing Mika did was hug him. Hiro gasped and his eyes widened.
"You idiot…" Hiro looked down. "I was texting you all night… I wanted to know if you are alright. When I heard Maiko died… I thought he did something to you first. I was so worried…" Mika sobbed.
"Mika… I'm sorry…" Hiro couldn't lie, but he couldn't tell the truth. He only stayed silent.
"He's gone… I wanted to make up with him… and he's gone…" Mika started to sob and Hiro looked pained. "I should have tried… I should have tried to make up and be good friends… I'm such an idiot."
"No, you're not Mika… you didn't know what was going to happen." Hiro grabbed Mika's shoulder and spoke softly.
"But why did I say rude things to a guy that cared about…" Mika gasped, "I'm such a hypocrite…" Mika sobbed and Hiro gave a sad look. "Why? Why couldn't I just forgive him for acting like a nice guy and just… let go of the grudge…?" Mika sobbed once again on Hiro's chest.
Hiro was too broken to even respond. He wanted to break down crying. "Mika…" Hiro needed to say something. But the words could not come out.
"I love you Hiro…" Mika said softly and Hiro was stuck quiet. Mika leaned up and kissed him. "I don't want to lose you…" Mika looked and Hiro gave a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry what I have done…"
"What you have done?" Hiro asked and Mika nodded.
"I'm sorry… this… I could have done so much to prevent this." Mika sobbed and Hiro hugged her.
"Look… you're not at fault here..." Hiro wanted to scream that it was his fault. "I should have been there for you… I shouldn't have skipped." Hiro and Mika shared eye contact.
"I was just believing it was my fault for his death. That maybe him being suspended led him to his death… I can't get that off my mind."
"You're too kind Hiro…" Hiro's eyes widened. "You wouldn't do anything to hurt anyone else. No matter how much they hurt you." Mika smiled softly, "that's what great about you."
Hiro smiled, but it completely forced. He wanted to break down once again. He knew he didn't deserve the kindness Mika was showing him. "Yeah…" Hiro nodded and hugged Mika.
"Wow we both been missing class too much," Mika giggled and Hiro nodded. "We should just sit this class out and then go back before lunch."
"Yeah we should," Hiro said blandly and looked to the side.
"Let's just stay up here," Mika sadly smiled and Hiro sat down. Mika sat next to him and leaned her head on his shoulder. Hiro didn't respond, but was only thinking.
"Do I deserve Mika…? I killed Maiko and broke her heart. I'm her boyfriend and I already broke her heart." Hiro looked down, "I don't deserve her…"
"H-Hiro…" Hiro looked and saw Mika was sleeping. She was probably tired of all the crying. "I'm sorry…" Mika mumbled and Hiro was surprised. He was expecting her to be thinking about Maiko.
"I love you…" Mika spoke softly and leaned forward. Hiro just started to tear up and grit his teeth. He was shaking, but only slightly as the girl was comfortably resting beside him
"I didn't mean to kill him Mika…" Hiro confessed although he knew Mika was sound asleep. "I didn't… I was… I don't know." Hiro sobbed and tried his best not to awake his girlfriend.
"I don't know if I wanted him dead…" Hiro covered his eyes and wiped his streaming tears. "I want this nightmare to end… please… wake up." Hiro gritted his teeth. "I'm hurting others when I don't mean it…"
Hiro took a deep breath and let out a light whimper. "I don't care if I lose Mika… just don't let her be hurt by me… I don't want to be the one to hurt her anymore. Please… let this nightmare end… wake me up… please…"
Hiro kept on sobbing until he could finally calm down. The wind blew lightly as Mika finally was resting peacefully. Hiro glanced at her. She was resting her head on his lap. Hiro touched her hair and moved it into position.
"Do I really deserve all this? Do I?" Hiro looked up and asked. "Do I deserve to receive love from Mika after all I done?"
Hiro heard Mika moan slightly. He looked over with his defeated depressed look. Mika opened her eyes and smiled, "you stayed…" Mika said before going for a kiss. Hiro moved his head back and Mika tilted her head. "What wrong?"
Hiro realized his action and looked down. "It's nothing, I'm just tired," Hiro lied. He was actually having a feeling of regret for even accepting Mika as his girlfriend. The situation with Maiko would have been avoided.
"Okay," Mika kissed Hiro. Hiro did not kiss back as the guilt was tearing him away. He once had an innocent crush on Mika, then fell in love when she confessed and now it's all gone. Only the feeling of regret and grief.
The day went on. Mika was still sad and she went back to class. Hiro was in gym class sitting down. The exercising was cancelled to mourn for Maiko.
Hiro was sitting in the side and looked at all the sad people. He saw some people normally doing about. They were people who probably didn't know Maiko.
"What if I died…?" Hiro whispered and looked down. "What if I died from Maiko… how much different would this school be?"
"Would they cry… would they mourn for me? Or will they be sad that Maiko committed such a crime?" Hiro buried his head on his knees.
"Maiko…" Hiro sobbed and gritted his teeth. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry… I didn't want… I didn't want to kill you…" Hiro covered his mouth. The tears streamed down his hand. "I'm sorry Maiko…"
Hiro finally calmed while clearing the tears. He looked to the side and saw the wind blow softly. He took a deep breath and then took out his phone. He didn't have any messages.
He kinda wishes Ryoku would just text him. He wanted to talk to Ryoku. That's the only person he could really talk to at this moment.
Hiro looked up at the blue sky and just kept staring.
Hiro was stuck staring at the ceiling. He was just waiting. Mika asked him to study although she is a mess. She wants to still be around Hiro. Hiro is just looking up the ceiling and trying not to think of Maiko.
Hiro gasped and turned to the side. He grabbed his head and remembered seeing the body of the torn Maiko.
"No…" Hiro gasped and then he heard a sound. It was his parents, they came home. Hiro glanced back and decided to get up. He opened the door slightly.
"Honey, you heard about a student that went to Hiro's school?"
"Yes," they don't usually, but they both came in together. "I was shocked too… he also assaulted our son for some reason before that."
"I know… I mean I did feel anger for hurting our little baby… but… but this…" Hiro looked down, "I hope his parents are okay."
"They are devastated." The father softly spoke. "I got a call from them. They wanted to apologize for his actions… and they were sobbing. Maybe they didn't want their son's name to be cursed on."
"Poor little Hiro… I bet he thought it was his fault…" Hiro gritted his teeth from his mother's words. "I should go check on him if he's alright." Hiro stepped back.
"No… when the incident happened here. It was recommended to let Hiro contemplate. He might be in sorrow, but I know our son is strong." Hiro closed his eyes and started to tear up.
"Hiro is strong, but…" his mother spoke, "does he know that the same murder that killed our neighbor was the one that killed Maiko?"
Hiro's eyes widened, "I don't know, probably. I hope he's okay with the thought."
Hiro then turned around and laid on his bed. He couldn't hear his parent's words anymore. "It was me… and they think I'm innocent." Hiro then went to his bed and sat down.
He took out the book Bird's Sky which he almost finished. He started to read before he heard a vibration from his phone. Hiro looked and saw Mika was texting him.
"Hey, you can come over now," Mika said and Hiro nodded. He put his phone away while closing his book.
"Okay…" Hiro whispered and got his bag. He walked out of his room where his parents were surprised.
"Hiro are you going to go study with Ryoku?" Hiro's dad asked and Hiro shook his head.
"It's my…" Hiro didn't know whether or not to tell if Mika is his girlfriend. "other friend Mika, she needs help with studying."
"Okay, I hope you have fun," the father smiled and nodded. Hiro nodded and he headed towards the door.
"Hiro, by the way. I will go to my night-shift. If you want dinner when you get back. There's going to be chicken in the microwave."
"Alright thanks…" Hiro nodded and then turned back. He opened and closed the door. He touched his chest as he felt a cold feeling. Last time his mom said those words. The incident happened. Hiro looked at the door of his neighbors and turned away.
Hiro was walking down the stairs. He looked to the side and saw the flowers placed to represent this loss of Mrs. Renko. It was a memorial.
Hiro kneeled down and smiled at the photo. Hiro always placed a flower down once every week. He promised himself he won't forget. This time it was different. The times he put the flowers down where the representation to the road to recovery. Now he was looking at the memorial while feeling the agony he felt that night.
Hiro walked down the chilly streets on his city. He was just going to take a long walk to Mika. It's not that he didn't want to see her, but his guilt is making the decisions for him.
Hiro looked down and then forward. He saw cars pass by. Hiro saw the light turn green and he walked. He heard his phone vibrate and took it out. It was Mika, "Hiro, can you please come quickly." Hiro sighed and started to hurry.
He wanted to break up with Mika, but couldn't because in the state of mind she is in. He wanted to not go, but she needs him. "How could this happen…" Hiro thought and looked down. "What did I do exactly to deserve all this…? To deserve hurting the girl I once loved. Killing people I never wanted to kill. Feel pain for something I don't know about."
Hiro finally arrived at Mika's house. He knocked and waited out. The door slowly opened and there was Mika. Her eyes were even red than school. It was obvious she was crying.
"Hey Mika…" Hiro tried to ignore that fact. He walked in and Mika smiled.
"I'm sorry, but studying with you needed to happen." Mika giggled, but it sounded too fake. Hiro nodded and entered. Mika leaned up for a kiss, but Hiro just passed her. Mika was surprised, but closed the door.
"Mika… what do you need help on…" Hiro asked and Mika looked down.
"Really… I don't need help on school…" Mika said and Hiro looked down. He knew she was lying and he knew she was in pain. "I'm sorry, but I don't want to be alone…" Mika sobbed. "I lost Maiko and I'm scared for you Hiro… please stay with me." Mika rushed forward and grabbed his hands. "I want you to be by my side."
"Alright, I'll be here…" Hiro smiled and then looked to the side.
He got done with talking to his parents about staying for the night. He looked around the apartment. It was empty since Mika lives alone with limited money until she gets a job.
He was hugging Mika who was resting on his stomach.
"I still kinda liked him…" Mika said and Hiro this was no surprise. When she kissed him and before. He had this in his thought, but this confession pretty much confirmed it.
"I really wanted to get back with him because he was my ex… but I couldn't stand the way he treated others. He put a mask on with the people he wanted to impress and let out his attitude towards others he didn't care about." Hiro put his head back to the couch. He was sitting on the floor.
"I just couldn't and he couldn't change. He never once did anything bad to me. Even if he lied, that was nothing…" Mika gripped Hiro's shirt. "He loved me, he told me every day. Never forced me and never pushed me into things."
"There was a point where I thought about giving my first to him…" Mika sadly chuckled. "There was a point where I wanted him for the rest of my life…"
"He just was who he was… and that… that just ripped me apart." Mika started to tear, "I wonder why he would be that way, I asked him and all he said was, it doesn't matter. It doesn't concern you."
"I hated that… he was such a jerk…" Mika sobbed and gritted her teeth. "I just… I just didn't know he was going to die." Mika started to finally cry. "I'm so stupid… I could have done so much for him. He done so much for me."
"I wish… I wish he could have heard me tell him how much I care about him before he died, but he'll never hear that…" Mika sobbed which Hiro looked down.
"Don't leave me…" Mika looked up and Hiro stared with his teary eyes. "I don't want you to leave Hiro… I love you. I don't want to lose you too!"
"Mika…" Hiro softly said and he closed his eyes. "I won't leave you…"
"Promise me!" Mika held onto Hiro. "I'm tired of losing people for simple decisions. I don't want to keep losing people." Mika cried, "my parents, my foster parents, my ex, Maiko… I'm tried… I don't want to lose anymore."
"You won't lose me…" Hiro touched Mika's cheek and she looked surprised. She smiled and cried. "I promise you won't…"
"Damn it…" Mika leaned forward and her head was right under Hiro's chin. "I'm here talking about my ex… I'm such a stupid girlfriend…"
"No Mika," Hiro said while holding onto Mika. "You're not stupid… you couldn't have known this would happen. There's nothing you could have done to prevented it."
"There's a lot of things I could have done!" Mika looked up with tears flowing down. "I could have talked it over… I could have just broke up with an explanation. I told him by text…"
"He knows you care about him… He knows you love him." Hiro smiled and Mika looked up.
"But… but I don't love him…" Mika said, "I love you…" Mika's eyes softened.
"Mika… no… Maiko-" Hiro was silenced by Mika's kiss.
"Maiko meant a lot to me, but it won't change the fact that I love you. If I lose you I won't have anyone." Mika warmly smiled.
"Your friends…" Hiro said and Mika shook her head.
"I wouldn't have texted you if they were here…" Mika then pinned Hiro down. "I know it seemed like I loved Maiko, but I don't anymore. I really wish he was alive, but not my boyfriend."
"Mika… you're not thinking well… please rest…" Hiro felt tears fall to his face.
"I love you Hiro Sazuki…" Mika spoke softly. "You're the one I don't want to lose the most…" Mika leaned and kissed Hiro.
"No… No… she's vulnerable! I can't take advantage. Stop! Don't do this…" Hiro tried his best to get energy. He doesn't deserve this role and doesn't deserve to be so loved by Mika.
"I'm sorry…" Mika said and Hiro stopped himself from struggling. He was silenced as Mika held Hiro's hand. She clasped his hands and smiled. "Hiro… you're the one I won't regret…"
Hiro's eyes widened as Mika kissed him. Hiro winced and tears fell down his face. "Maiko… I'm sorry…" Hiro apologized. Mika was vulnerable, but he was too. "In the end… I'm just a disgrace…"
The sun rose and Hiro was sitting down while not having a shirt on. He was staring at the sun rise. He looked down and back at Mika who was resting on her bed.
She was sound asleep. Hiro looked down and then took a deep breath.
Hjro got up and got his shirt. He put in on and left the room.