Chapter 10: Beautiful Pain
The entire day, Elijah's mind was focused on the memory he obtained. But he was still unsure whether it was real or just his imagination. The bell rang for lunch and Elijah walked out of the class unknowingly.
"Hey!" Natsuki said to him happily as she arrived at his side. Elijah snapped out of his daydream and looked at Natsuki.
"Hey." he replied looking back in front of him.
"So I wanted to ask you something." Natsuki said to him which caused Elijah to raise an eyebrow.
"Shoot." Elijah said turning at his locker.
"If I said I have a few friends that I accidentally told them about that thing.....and how you've been seeing it......and they want to kinda meet you......would you meet them?" Natsuki hesitantly asked. Elijah's heart skipped a beat.
"You told them? Are you crazy?" Elijah quietly yelled so no one over heard them. Elijah's stomach emptied into a pit. He felt it swirl around and turn.
"Well it kinda slipped and then they wanted to know if I had proof so I said you.....then they said they wanted to see you since they think you're fake. Please don't be mad!" Natsuki said shakily. He sighed and looked at her.
"I'm not mad just....I don't know." Elijah said nervously. His stomach ached and twisted into a knot. Natsuki looked confused at Elijah's obvious discomfort.
"Are you....nervous?" Natsuki asked tilting her head. He looked at her and shrugged.
"Well don't worry about it. I'll introduce you and all that stuff." Natsuki happily said smiling at Elijah who's heart was racing.
"Uh....okay." Elijah replied to Natsuki who was giving a giant smile.
"Yes!" Natsuki yelled in happiness. They walked down the hallway and into the cafeteria. She held Elijah's hand pulling him towards a table with a few kids sitting and chatting. Elijah's stomach wrenched with every step he took closer to the table.
"Hey guys!" Natsuki happily said to the kids breaking up any conversation they may have had. They look up at Natsuki, then they turn to face Elijah making his heart stop.
"This is Elijah. I told you he wasn't fake." Natsuki said to the kids while crossing her arms.
"Sup man." a taller boy said at the table. He had white blonde hair that was shaved on the sides and the top of his hair was longer and brushed to one side. He had ocean blue eyes that were staring at Elijah. He was wearing a plain white hoodie and black baggy jeans. He looked oddly familiar to Elijah, but he shrugged it off assuming that they may have saw each other sometime since they were in the same school. He looked at Elijah with a confused look which made Elijah start to question him in his head.
"Why is he looking at me like that?" Elijah was panicking eternally, but he didn't want to ruin it for Natsuki so he did his best to keep his cool.
"Hey what's up with the hood?" the kid asked and Elijah looked up to see he had his hood up.
"Oh uh....yeah." Elijah shakily said pulling it down. He looked back at the taller kid who smiled.
"You were Noah's friend right?" the kid asked Elijah which made Elijah feel even less comfortable.
"...Uh.....yeah." Elijah said slowly putting his hands in his pockets.
"Oh my god I'm so sorry!" a young girl said with empathy in her voice. She gave a saddened look at Elijah which made him feel awkward. She had yellow blonde hair that was curled down to her waist with a small pink and blue bow on the her hair in the back. She was wearing a navy blue short dress that was covered in little pink flowers.
"Uh....you don't have to be.....it's okay." Elijah quietly said continuing to stare at the ground.
"You're being so quiet." Natsuki said to Elijah. He turned to look at her and shrugged.
"It's okay man. It's not like we bite." the boy said looking at Elijah and smiling. Elijah swallowed down his awkwardness for a second and looked up at him.
"Yes. Because the first thing I thought of when I went up to you was 'oh fuck this bitch might bite me'." Elijah sarcastically said which made him feel more comfortable around the new kids. Everyone started to laugh.
"That was hilarious!" another girl said across from the other two kids. She had dark brown hair that was put into a high ponytail with a black ribbon put into a bow where the ponytail started. She had sparkling hazel eyes that were focused on Elijah. She wore a dark grey sweatshirt and a T-shirt that had a picture of Deku from My Hero Academia on it. She was smiling from Elijah's recent joke which made Elijah crack a slight smile.
"In case you were wondering, that's Kathrine," Natsuki said pointing to the girl with dark brown hair. "that's Abigail," she said pointing to the yellow blonde girl and she gave a small wave. "and that's Damion." Natsuki pointed at the boy who nodded his way.
"Well now it's a little less awkward." Elijah said looking around at the group of kids.
"Are you guys just gonna stand for the rest of the year or are you guys gonna sit down?" Damion asked cracking a smile.
"Oh yeah. C'mon Eli." Natsuki said grabbing Elijah's hand and pulling him to a seat at the table. Elijah's heart skipped a beat when she called him 'Eli'. It reminded him of the memory or dream.
"Don't read too much into it. It's just a coincidence. Just a nickname." Elijah thought to himself as he took a seat next to Natsuki at the end of the table.
"So we're shortening our names now are we Suki?" Elijah said shortening Natsuki's name. She smiled and rolled her eyes.
"Call me Suki all you want. It actually sounds cute." Natsuki said crossing her arms in confidence. Elijah rolled his eyes.
"So Natsuki or Suki told us you're seeing shit." Damion said to Elijah.
"You make it sound like I'm insane. Which I'm not." Elijah replied to Damion who looked at him with disbelief.
"Well it's not really everyday that you hear someone complain how they're seeing monsters and shit." Damion sarcastically said to Elijah which made him a little irritated.
"I know what I saw." Elijah pointed out. Damion rolled his eyes.
"I'll believe it when I see it dude." Damion said looking away.
"I believe you." Kathrine intervened. Her gaze moving between Damion and Elijah.
"So you're superstitious too?" Damion asked Kathrine who frowned at his response.
"I'm not superstitious. I just believe him. I mean, did you see the way he walked in here?" Kathrine pointed out which made Elijah get confused.
"The way I walked in here? I'm just bad around people. Not looking like I saw something.....despite the fact that I have......and earlier today I did.....so maybe I'm still stunned.....from that dream or memory thing." Elijah thought to himself.
"What do you mean by the way I walked in here?" Elijah asked Kathrine. She turned her head to face him and met her eyes with his.
"Well you walked over here with your hood up and everything and you were really quiet and you seemed nervous so I just assumed that you saw something." Kathrine shrugged. Elijah took a deep breath.
"Well I kinda did earlier. But....I'm really confused about it." Elijah said looking down. Natsuki perked her head up and looked over at Elijah.
"Wait. When earlier? 'Cause we were together the entire morning." Natsuki asked looking at Elijah confused.
"While we were walking. You were talking about something, then I saw that thing and it seemed so real that....I thought it was, but then I guess I snapped back to reality even though it didn't feel like a dream." Elijah said looking at Natsuki.
"Eli are you sure you weren't just daydreaming?" Natsuki asked Elijah which made him second guess himself.
"Maybe she's right. I might be completely over thinking this." Elijah contemplated in his head.
"You might be right. But we did see it chowing down on Dylan's face like a snack." Elijah said looking down.
"That's true." Natsuki replied then looking at Damion who rolled his eyes.
"This seems really scary." Abigail said looking at both Elijah and Natsuki.
"It's not scary because they're either insane or full of shit." Damion said looking at Elijah.
"I don't give a fuck if you don't believe me. Honestly, I really don't want you to believe me. The only person that I wanted to believe me is dead because that thing killed him. And the fact that I'm even interacting with people anymore is a big fucking surprise 'cause after all of that, I know in the back of my mind that it'll eventually go after anyone else I get close to. Which is why I tried to push Suki away at first but that didn't work. So don't believe me. I want to be left with just the one person that I'm still beating myself up about meeting because I know it'll hurt her." Elijah ranted. Every ounce of his body strained for him to not talk about anything else too in depth. He knew he had already said enough and he regretted it already.
"You've either got some major trust issues or you're going through some other shit that you're blaming this on." Damion said to Elijah after his tangent. Natsuki looked at Elijah with sadness in her eyes.
"Don't beat yourself up about it. Damion's just not one to believe that sort of thing despite the fact that it exists, but you at least have the rest of us." Natsuki said reassuringly. She put her hand on Elijah's shoulder and he quickly shoved it off.
"I can't do this. I need to be alone." Elijah said getting up. Natsuki got up and looked at him with confusion.
"Eli it's fine!" Natsuki yelled across the cafeteria causing everyone to look at her and Elijah who was walking out of the cafeteria. He continued to walk without a reply to the eager girl.
He went through the doors of the cafeteria and into the hallway. He didn't look back even though he could hear Natsuki running after him. The swirling pain began in his heart and with every step he took it grew worse and it spread throughout his body. His mind was cycling thoughts over and over in his head.
"How could you be so selfish. All she wanted to do was have a good day and you had to fuck it up by having everything revolve around you. Now you think she's going to hate you. You wanted to push her away and you think that you'll be free from this. But she's going to cling on and you know that. And because of that, you're even more selfish. Even more worthless. Even more heartless." his mind spun from the thoughts.
"Get out of my head." Elijah whispered while holding his head. He leaned up against the hallway wall. "Get out of my head. Get out of my head." he repeated as he leaned his body even more against the wall.
"Are you okay?" Elijah heard Natsuki ask. Elijah looked over at her and she had a worried look on her face.
"Yeah I'm fine....I just need some time to think." Elijah said looking down.
"Pain. It's beautiful right? Such beautiful pain." his mind went off again and he screamed at it to stop in his head.
"Then why were you repeating 'get out of my head'?" Natsuki asked like she already knew what was going on.
"Just......look you don't need to worry about me okay? Concentrate on yourself and everything will be okay." Elijah said continuing to look at the ground.
"That's the exact reason why I need to be there for you. You're obviously going through some stuff and the only thing that's gonna help that is talking to someone." Natsuki reassured moving closer to Elijah. He hated himself for releasing so much of himself out. He wanted to build up bigger and stronger walls that no one could penetrate. He not only needed people to close themselves off from him, but he wanted them to.
"I'm not doing this." Elijah said closing his eyes. His head hanging down so it was facing the floor.
"Please just talk to me." Natsuki begged walking even closer to Elijah. With every step she took closer to him, the hurt grew even bigger. Elijah looked up at Natsuki who was staring at him with hurt in her eyes.
"One chance. It's in the mind." the creature's voice echoed in his mind. He thought it echoed in his mind. Natsuki stared above Elijah and began to back away. Confused, Elijah slowly turned around to see what was behind him. The creature was staring at him and then at Natsuki. It snarled and walked through Elijah towards Natsuki. It walked through him. It sent cold chills through every nerve in his body. His mind clouded up and he was in another dream or memory.
Elijah felt the chills he got from when it walked through him and he saw the creature edging closer towards Natsuki. He grabbed the creature and pushed it out of Natsuki's way. He had another dream-like memory. Only this time it felt even weirder. He knew he recognized Damion, but he thought of it as just a daydream.
"There's no way he's my brother. Mom would've told me......right?" Elijah hesitantly said in his mind. The creature smiled at Elijah and then sharp pains went through some parts of his body. He winced, then he noticed that the creature had disappeared.
"It went right through you." Natsuki said from behind Elijah. He turned around and she was pale white.
"It's fine. It didn't hurt me." Elijah said looking at Natsuki while she shook her head.
"No. No you're not." Natsuki said as she slowly started to back away from him.
"What do you mean by that?" Elijah said beginning to feel worried.
"Are you dead?" Natsuki shakily asked.