In the Mind

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Chapter 13: Confusion

Elijah slowly opened his eyes. His mind was spinning and he was confused on his location. As his eyes focused on the darkened room, he realized where he was. He was in the same place as when he talked to Noah. When he was cold and dark. Remembering all the things he said sent chills down Elijah's spine. He looked around and he saw nothing but the dark room. Not a figure in sight. He sighed and slowly walked through the void. The only sound were his footsteps as he continued through the room. It seemed endless, but he didn't grow tired from the walking.

"In here again huh?" he heard a voice from behind him. Dark Noah was behind him, his face held a vicious smirk.

"What do you want?" Elijah asked him, and his smirk turned into a venomous smile. He began to pace back and forth as he looked at Elijah.

"I want you to tell me why you can't see reality." Noah coldly said, staring into Elijah's eyes. The cold glare made Elijah's skin crawl.

"What do you mean?" Elijah asked hesitantly.

"Wow. You really are ignorant. Allow me to put this into a phrase of which you can understand. Why can't you look around you, at all the people around you, and not feel guilty about what you well know is going to happen to them? You know eventually that your precious Natsuki is going to die. You know that eventually your family will die. And because they are around you, it'll all be your-" Noah said before Elijah cut him off.

"Fault? It'll all be my fault that they'll die. Maybe you're not the one facing reality. Because reality check, everyone's gonna die eventually. And it's not gonna be my fault. I can have friends. I can have a family. All these words that you're spewing out is toxic. You're nothing but my head trying to convince me that I'm a selfish asshole. Well you know what? I don't give a shit! Call me what you want Noah, you're not gonna get to my head." Elijah snapped at Noah which caused him to only smile more.

"Oh? So you think I'm not real? Now you're starting to face reality. Open your eyes Elijah. You're in a world of lies. A world where you'll hate yourself. And I'm only helping with that." Noah said with his cold smile still spread on his face. Elijah felt another cold shiver spread across his body.

"What the fuck happened to you? You used to be nice and happy! Now you're a complete asshole!" Elijah yelled at Noah who continued to smile.

"May I repeat the same words as my drear old friend Kishiki. You know why." Noah said which made Elijah give a look of confusion.

"Kishiki?" Elijah asked which made Noah smile even bigger.

"Kishiki is the name of the creature that's been following you. Continuously it's becoming more....I'd say fond of you. However I cannot allow that." Noah said which made Elijah even more confused.

" you mean by that?" Elijah hesitantly asked. Noah sighed.

"You really don't get it. I'm not going to explain exactly what everything means. Kishiki has more work to do with making you realize what everything means. But for now I leave you with the one answer that you've been told before. It's in the mind." Noah said and then faded away. Elijah looked around the room in search for Noah, but soon he awoke from his nightmare.

"Hey Eli!" Damion said as Elijah opened his eyes. The blinds were slightly open from his window making a ray of sun shine into his eyes. Elijah squinted his eyes and covered the window with his hand.

"Hey." Elijah tiredly replied with a yawn.

"You look sleep at all?" Damion asked as he sat on Elijah's bed.

"Yeah, just not that great." Elijah said rubbing his eyes. He slowly raised his torso up from the bed and looked around the blurry room.

"Well we gotta go to school so..." Damion said and Elijah looked at the time. "6:47" the clock read.

Elijah rolled out of bed and soon got ready. Instead of his normal black hoodie, he wore a black Tokyo Ghoul hoodie with black baggy jeans. Damion again borrowed something of Elijah's and they headed downstairs for school.

They reached outside to find Natsuki waiting for them on the steps.

" long have you been here?" Elijah asked and Natsuki jumped from her sitting position.

" like....fifteen minutes. I'm sorry, I should've knocked." Natsuki said nervously as she looked at both Damion and Elijah.

"So I'm guessing everything went well?" Natsuki asked with a smile spreading across her face.

"Yeah. Everything's good." Damion said smiling.

"But for some reason Natalie made me write a list of things I like.....I'm really confused." Damion said looking down as they began to walk down the sidewalk.

"She's most likely gonna get you a bunch of shit to put in your room, but if she decorates it, then boy are you in for a surprise." Elijah said which made Damion raise an eyebrow.

"What kind of surprise?" Damion asked. Elijah let out a smirk.

"A surprise of which you're eye will twitch when you see her decorating skills." Elijah laughed as he talked to Damion, but he let out a frown.

"I'm scared now." Damion said looking down.

"Oh trust me. You should be." Elijah said then let out another laugh.

They entered the packed school and went their separate ways to their lockers. Elijah reached his, but out of the corner of his eye, he saw Dylan watching him from the edge of a hallway. Elijah jumped and looked in that direction, but he wasn't there. Relieved, Elijah went back to his locker.

"Look at the damage done." Elijah heard a voice echo from the side of him which made his skin crawl. He slowly turned his head to see Dylan without half his head. His face completely torn apart. Elijah wanted to scream, but he closed his eyes, trying to convince himself it wasn't real.

"He's in the hospital. Just like Liam."Elijah said to himself, then he opened his eyes to see Dylan was no longer there. Elijah sighed in relief and went back to his locker for the third time to grab his things.

He slowly walked to his classroom and sat at his desk. He turned to look at the what was usually an empty seat, but Noah was sat at it with his feet on top of the desk. He was looking at his fingers and then he realized Elijah was staring at him.

"Um...." Elijah said to Noah who let out a cold smirk and set down his feet from the desk.

"Oh, so you can finally see me? How exciting!" Noah said in a dark manner.

"It's not exciting, it's disturbing." Elijah said which caused Noah to roll his eyes.

"Oh you're so fun to mess with. You see, I'm not actually here. I'm merely your mind playing tricks on you." Noah said while releasing a chilling smile.

"Oh would you fuck off already." Elijah said Noah who nodded and then disappeared.

"Elijah are you okay?" the teacher called out to him and the entire class looked at him.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Elijah said quietly, his heart racing from all the eyes staring at him. It felt like they were all right next to him and they were burning a whole through him with their eyes.

"We'll start the lesson....." the teacher started the boring school day.

"School suck for you too?" Damion asked as they walked down the hallway.

"Since when did school not suck?" Elijah asked in a playful manner which made Damion laugh.

"Welp, I've gotta get to my locker. See ya!" Damion said while walking past Elijah.

"Bye!" Elijah replied as he reached his locker. He remembered the last time he went to his locker, he saw messed up Dylan. However, the entire situation with Dylan confused him.

"Why isn't anyone doing anything about Dylan? He got his face bit off.....yet everyone's going about their days as if nothing happened. What's wrong with people nowadays?" Elijah questioned in his mind. Thoughts were circling in his mind. Mainly about what Noah had said in his dream.

"But for now I leave you with the one answer that you've been told before. It's in the mind." Elijah's head spun every time Noah's voice said it.

"What the hell does that mean? In the mind? It makes no sense!" Elijah yelled in his head. He grabbed his things and headed to his next class.

Elijah, Damion, and Natsuki decided to walk home together again. They had decided to walk in stead of ride the school bus to school since it's easier to talk to one another that way.

"....And so I ran outside with my bow and arrow in my hand shooting at the guards....." Damion was talking to Natsuki and Elijah, but Elijah wasn't listening. Noah's voice continued to repeat in his mind, yet he couldn't understand what he or Kishiki meant.

"Kishiki. That's an odd name....sounds like something from an anime." Elijah thought to himself as he walked along side of Damion with Natsuki on the other side.

"Right Eli?" Damion continued his conversation and elbowed Elijah in the shoulder and Elijah jumped from the sudden hit.

" I....kinda spaced out." Elijah said nervously. Natsuki rolled her eyes.

"You and spacing out!" Natsuki said then she began to laugh.

"Yeah, what's up with you and that?" Damion asked with curiosity. Elijah shrugged.

"I don't know just........there's a lot on my mind." Elijah said quietly while putting his hands in the pockets of his hoodie.

"Well, I'm kinda scared from what you said earlier." Damion said.

"Oh, about mom's amazing decorating?" Elijah asked with a smile.

"Yeah.......I hope it's not bad." Damion said hesitantly.

"It will be." Elijah said with no remorse causing Damion to let out a frown.

Damion begun talking and Elijah was at first listening, before his attention was caught on something else.

"Ugh. How boring. Continuously blabbering about something so idiotic. Don't you agree?" Noah said from Elijah's side. Elijah rolled his eyes.

"I thought you only appeared in my dreams." Elijah bluntly said. A venomous smirk appeared on Noah's face.

"I did. Until I decided that you should see me not just when you're sleeping, but all the time." Noah said with a wink.

"I know you're not Noah, so why are you using his body?" Elijah asked. His mind was flooding with questions to ask Noah.

"Like I've said before, it's all in the mind." Noah said, failing to lose his chilling smirk. Elijah felt rage well up inside him. He wanted to punch Noah in the face. Rip him in half.

"What the fuck do you mean by 'In the mind'? It makes no sense! If it were supposedly, in the mind, I would've figured this out a long time ago! So what the hell!" Elijah screamed at Noah who's smile only became bigger and bolder.

"Maybe you're just too ignorant to realize the truth. That, or you're somehow blocking the truth, but you don't know it." Noah said, theorizing the possibilities aloud.

"Look, I just want to know what the hell is going on, why I'm being hunted by that....Kishiki thing, and why I'm getting these dream...memory thingies." Elijah snapped. His confusion made him feel like he was going in circles. The same questions appear, and the moment he thinks he has an answer, it's all messed up.

"Oh yeah, Kishiki has been giving you those in hopes you would realize something. But, it seems like you're still stubborn and you won't get it." Noah said. Elijah looked at him with even more confusion which caused Noah to sigh.

"You really don't get it. I could give you the answers and have this all stop, but with that, there could be a number of things that could happen. You could either lose your mind, be so confused that you kill yourself in hopes of the truth, or you could think of me as lying and go about your life......if you call it that." Noah explained with another smile spreading across his face.

"I just want to know what's going on? I mean....I'm talking to a figment of my mind. Isn't that insane enough? So if you tell me the answer, technically I could go even more insane.....but.....I don't get why? What's going on that's so bad that I'll get messed up because of it?" Elijah questioned Noah who continued to stare at him.

"I'm giving you the pieces. You just have to put them together." Noah said as he disappeared.

"Wait...what?" Elijah asked confusingly.

"Hey, what's going on?" Damion asked Elijah who was staring at a wall.

"'s nothing." Elijah said shaking his head. He walked back to the sidewalk and began walking down it.

"Dude are you okay?" Damion asked. Elijah looked at him and then looked down at the ground.

"Yeah....I just......" Elijah started then sighed.

"It's just that everything lately has been so confusing and I don't know why everything's happening. I feel like there's more to my life than this and I can't figure out what it is and how to reach it." Elijah said, spewing almost every thought in his head.

"More to your life? How?" Damion asked. Elijah shook his head.

"I don't know. I'm just really confused.......I mean.......I'm seeing my dead friend everywhere I go and he's not like he was when he was alive, and that creature who's apparently named Kishiki is supposedly trying to help me.......I'm just.......I don't know anymore!" Elijah tried to explain, but he stumbled more than not. His head ached in confusion. Damion looked down and shrugged.

"I wish I could help you, but I don't really know what's going on. I mean, you explained it, but I'm still not really getting it." Elijah sighed and looked down.

"It's fine. I'll just deal." Elijah said as they reached the door to their house.

The two entered the house to find no one but themselves. They walked up the stairs and into Elijah's room, when they heard someone follow them into the room.

"Hey!" Natalie said happily with paint on her shirt.

"Oh no mom, what did you do?" Elijah asked looking at Natalie. She gave a sarcastic look and smiled.

"What do you think? Doing Damion's room. I got the day off and I got a list of all the things he likes so I know what to do." Natalie continued to smile.

"Are you finished with it?" Damion asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Almost. Wanna come see?" Natalie said gesturing him to follow her.

"Totally!" Damion said following her into his new room. Elijah rolled his eyes and stayed in his room.

"Not one for looking at decorating?" Elijah heard a familiar voice echo behind him. The voice made caused his frustration to well up inside of him.

"What do you want Noah?" Elijah said rolling his eyes.

"What? Am I not good company?" Noah asked with a fake sad look. The irritation in Elijah grew even more. He looked at Noah with despise.

"No. You're not good company. I just want you to leave me alone to live my life without this shit storm that you've created with your stupid ass Kishiki." Elijah snapped bitterly. Noah looked taken aback, but he returned Elijah's response with a venomous smirk.

"You think this is my doing? Well aren't you in for a ride." Noah said with a chuckle. Elijah began to breath heavily from the rage.

"What do you mean by 'in for a ride'? Are you trying to torture me?" Elijah yelled at Noah. His smirk remained on his face as Elijah's face began to turn red.

"Like I said before. If I told you why you're going through this is, things won't work out for you.....then again, things aren't really working out for you right now anyway wouldn't change too much.....but I think it's too much to handle all at once without any evidence." Noah said saying aloud all his thoughts.

"What evidence? The only thing you're given me is those stupid dream things that make no sense." Elijah yelled at Noah again. He sighed and shook his head.

"They do make sense. And you know they make sense but you're being stubborn because you hate me." Noah said smiling at Elijah.

"I'm not being stubborn! You just appeared in my life and you fucked it up. I just want a normal life where I can live in peace. Where I can live without everyone around me dying or getting hurt and me living in fear of being close with anyone because of Kishiki or in other words you! I'm sick of this. Why can't I just have a normal life like everyone else!" Elijah said sitting down and putting his head in the palms of his hands.

"Well I'd love to cheer you up with good news but, sadly all I've got is bad news so.....I think I'm just gonna leave." Noah said standing up.

"You can't leave, you're my imagination." Elijah said with his face in his palms. His rage was melting into pain. A pain he was becoming used to, however it still tore him apart piece by piece.

"Funny how I could say the same thing." Noah said with a wink and faded away. Elijah laid on his back on top of his bed. Thoughts began to course through Elijah's head which caused him to be even more confused than before.

"What the fuck does he mean by 'I could say the same thing to you'? I shouldn't read too much into it. He's just my imagination, so it's probably just me making a smart and retarded remark. You see, there's a logical reason for everything!" Elijah thought to himself.

Damion came back into the room as white as a ghost.

"What?" Elijah asked Damion who was staring at him with his eyes as wide as saucers.

".......He's alive?"
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