“The Industrial Disposer”
The machine hums along as it completely takes care of whatever you put into it, with occasional bogging down on a big bone. This disposer had mashers and blades, so all that came out the other end was soup. It was like an extra wide wood chipper painted a dark green with safety yellow stripes. It was gorgeous to Chase.
To speed up the process the butchering was done after hours so that the inspector could proof the beef first thing in the morning. He would approve 3 days worth of 8 hour old burger. There was never a question about the cleanliness of The Ultimate Burger as the butcher shop and the disposer were always clean as can be. There was a smell of fresh antimicrobial detergent that was somehow pleasant. Other people tried to tell Chase he would have to “grease the wheel” with the inspector, but Mr. Bill Masters was all business and so was Chase. There was a couple pounds of “Extra stock” in a “to go” bag waiting for him on his way out once in a while.
Cousin Murph looked at himself and thought,
“I look like a monster”.
Then he smiled and thought,
“I am a fucking monster”.
He wore a long white lab coat completely splattered with blood and knee high black rubber boots. There were green latex gloves all the way up to the elbow with goggles that resembled shop class at Fort Windsor High. A surgical cap topped it off. He was a truly frightening sight. Cousin Murph would fumble with his remote for the stereo and finally land on his favorite album,” The Cars”.
“Life’s the same you’re moving in stereo”
“Whir whir whir”, said The Industrial Disposer.
“Life’s the same, except for my shoes”.
“Chunk chunk chunk”, replied the Disposer.
This routine repeated until the two sides of beef trim and one Lolita were butchered and the left overs were gone as gone can be thanks to the disposer. The cd played over and over.
Then the meticulous cleaning begins and by the time the inspector shows up every third day, there are 6 or 7 bins of fresh ground for him to check temperature and look for bacteria. There was always a green stamp in the log book signifying approval.
The industrial disposer was the hinge of the plan and it was the most important piece of machinery to both Cousin Murph and Chase. For Cousin Murph it was one kind of important and to Chase a completely different kind. The machine was inspected by Chase every single day and twice before Mr. Master’s visit. The log book hanging on the side of the industrial disposer had the green stamp of approval as well.
Chase is oblivious to the late night activities and everything is always so clean there is no reason to question the situation. Cousin Murph has a past and Chase knows a little about it but they had got along very well as pre-teens. Cousin Murph even pushed a kid around once for making fun of Chase.
There was simply no reason to distrust Cousin Murph.
Welcome to “The Ultimate Burger”