Loving an Unlovable

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Chapter 5

" Oh my God."
I couldn't believe what I was seeing, what the hell?
On the floor in front of me was a man on his knees, he was scalped and his eyes were bleeding. He was gasping for air as blood gushed out his wounds.
" What the hell is this?" I myself was gasping as I tried to make sense of what I was seeing.
The kidnapper passed me a gun and backed away. " And what do you expect me to do with this?" I asked.
"Take him out his misery why don't you?"
" Oh now you're showing mercy."
" No I just don't have the time to deal with him myself, I need time for you."
" Time for me?" I asked.
" Mmm, you'll see." He said as he brushed a strand of hair out my wet face.
I pushed his fingers off me and looked at the struggling man that lay on the ground before me. For some strange reason, I didn't feel bad for this man. Maybe a couple of hours ago I would've cried my eyes out, and yes, that's what I did when I first stumbled upon this room-but now I felt different. I hated myself for feeling no remorse or care, but deep down it felt right. I sighed to myself and dropped the gun. "Forget him."
He looked up at me and said," My names Luke."
" Why are you telling me that right now?"
"Why? Because you've finally earnt my trust. You're a psychopath, just like me."
" I didn't kill him. So what?"
"Follow me."
I got up and trailed behind him slowly, the man behind us let out one last groan and then fell silent. It was obvious what had just happened to him. Luke turned back to me and grabbed hold of my sore hands violently. Any other woman would've shook him off but I held on tight. Why did I feel safe with him? I should've been scared shitless of him, but I wasn't. Maybe I was a psychopath just like him? No. That's not me. I'm not a psychopath. But what if I was? These recurring thoughts circled round my mind as he pulled me along another dark corridor. A fat, sneaky rat scuttled past us as we reached yet another door.
"What's this?" I whispered to him.
He didn't answer. Instead, he put his strong, muscly arm around me and stood by my side as we entered the room.
I was expecting something gruesome in here, however that simply wasn't the case with this room. This room looked like an ordinary bedroom. Luke walked in front of me and took of his shirt. I stared in awe as his back muscles flexed, I noticed that he had cuts all over his back. Most were healed and now just scars, but nevertheless I was still intrigued.

Walking closer to him, I ran my fingers delicately over his back, he flinched a little but he stood still. I traced my fingers along his scars, battlescars maybe? He turned and looked at me, his hand cradled the edge of my face, I stared into his eyes as his soft touch caressed my tender skin. " How come you haven't tried to escape yet?" he asked.

" I wanted to escape at the start, it was just a primal instinct but now- maybe that's not what I want anymore."

" You're not scared of me?", as he said this his voice sounded caring yet pained.

"What if you're right?" All my life I've been that sort of girl that's loved anything murder-related, I've always loved inflicting pain on others." My voice started to break and I could feel the tears starting to well up in my eyes, " What if I really am a psychopath like you said?" By this time I was sobbing but Luke was holding onto me strongly. His grasp was violent but I felt safe in his arms, I edged closer into his chest and lay my head against his rock-hard abs. Tears just streamed out my eyes without warning, he seemed to be cradling me in his arms.

"Look Alyanna, I used to be just like you. I hated everyone and everything. Some days I'd come home raging with anger and all I wanted to do was hurt people. I remember when I was a child, I'd release my anger by hurting animals."

I looked up at him as he said this and realised that I'd done the same thing as a child too.
" I never felt remorse or guilt at all, it was just out of my control. My mother began worrying for me so she took me to the doctor and they diagnosed me with Distempered Psychopathy. My own mom didn't want anything to do with me after that, so she sent me to a foster home. My foster family died in a house fire, I was the only survivor."
"Oh, Luke are you ok?"
" You think I was sad about losing them?" He sat on the bed in front of me and shook his head. " I started the fire. I hated that foster family. All I ever wanted was the love and nurturing of my mother, but she didn't want me. As soon as I was sent to live with them I started thinking of ways to get rid of them all. They were nice enough people, but they weren't my people. They weren't my family. So I had to kill them, you understand right?"
In a way I did understand, I felt for him. " Yeah, I get it."
I sat on the bed next to him and held onto his arm, " Do you regret it?"
" In all honesty, I barely remember doing it. I recall planning it but I always thought I was never going to actually do it. I thought my mother was going to come back for me, but she didn't. It all happened in a blind strike of rage, I don't really regret it. I could kill anyone without regret."
" Would you ever kill me?" I muttered to him.
Luke looked up at me and smiled, " There's something about you Alyanna, that I like."
He lied down on the bed and sighed, "I'm not going to kill you."
At that moment I thought this best thing to do was to lie with him, so I did.
And I'd never felt safer in my life.
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