13 | numb
THATS ALL I FELT as I walked down the corridor of school, a few weeks later , my heart was beating out of my chest but I could barely feel it -- it was beating that fast. Instead I tried to make it to my locker without hearing my name whispered out into hushed conversation
I’m used to people around town whispering my name in conversation whether it’s in spite or awe does really depend on the person, but this was different. It was really different. And I didn’t like the topic of conversation about me.
“Do you really think she is? I mean I always sort of knew she was a homewrecking slut” The words drifted to my ears and I choke back a sob I heard worse things than this over the past couple of days. So why is this the comment that breaks me down and has me feeling like a useless little rag doll?
Maybe because you know the truth of what happened that night
About a week or so ago, my parents had this big press interview that was broadcasted all over the news channels in New York and one news reported spotted me--unbeknownst to me--In downtown New York late at night walking back to the motel I was staying that and when she queried my parents on the fact
It basically went downhill from there
My parents being the cold hearted people that they were publicly claimed that I was no longer their daughter and that they would no longer be in contact with them because I had done something so unthinkable in their books that they simple couldn’t keep me around -- and what was worse was the fact my parents said all that stuff about me publicly and with a smile on their face.
To add salt to the already gashing wound, I had to hear it all over YouTube and not in person, and the best parents of the year award goes to Portia and Ellis Philips a round of applause for their parenting skills ... Not
They literally don’t care abut what happens to me and this proves it
The reporters then caused an uproar of questions demanding my parents answer about what I could have done that made them class me as no longer their daughter and rightly so, I guess the media always thought that me and my parents were just one big happy family -- a perfect circle per say
Oh how wrong they were
But my parents declined to answer any questions their faces turning dark and their cold smiles dropping in a second before they walk away from the reporters who were just crying to get their questions heard
Then for the next few days all the reporters on every news station across town was talking about was me. Different theories were span and rumoured as to why I could have ben kicked out of the Philips household, only a few hitting within the ballpark that was even remotely tied to the truth
But when I wasn’t looking a reporter managed to sneak in to the motel late at night when I had returned to it and I was ducking my head as usual but the reporter managed to spot me and call out my name making me turn around and because it was quite a cool evening for Autumn I only had on a thin jumper making my slight bump as visible as ever but I didn’t really care while I was out because no reporters had so far looked for me downtown -- so I had assumed I was safe
The reporter gasped and snapped a photo blinding me before I could cover up the bump and by the next morning everyone knew I was pregnant and I had been staying in a manky motel ever since I was kicked out the mansion
News of my pregnancy spread like wild fire with my face plastered on every issue of a newspaper, it seemed that poor old me couldn’t get a break. I was on the front cover of every magazine to. My wide eyed tired look made even more pronounced by the sharp black ringlets I had decorating my eyes with the headline 17 YEAR OLD MELANIE PHILIPS PREGNANT? On most of them others were not so kind with their wording
If that and the morning sickness and weight gain wasn’t enough to stress over then I also had reporters coming at me left and right and centre requesting an interview because although many people have span and spread rumours and stories of how I may have become pregnant only four of us knew the truth about what happened and two people don’t care which leaves just Lacy and I
But only I will know what really went down in the room that night
I shake my head and blink back tears that threaten to ruin my eye makeup (that I managed to put on to make me feel that little bit more pieced together) images start to fill my head of that night of my attacker onto of me as he places sloppy drunk kisses all the way from the nape of my neck to my collarbone all the while moaning in my hair as if this is pleasure for him as he fills himself inside of me
As hard as I try I feel a few tears leak out of my eyes and roll down my cheeks and a few people snicker from behind me and I turn my body to see everyone still gawking at me as if I was a shiny new object and not a human being
Suddenly arms wrap around me and bring me into a strong hug (although they are carefully of the bump) and I am thankfully to breathe in the familiar scent of roses and lemon -- Lacy “You’re okay Melly” She whispers “We’re okay, we’ll get through this I promise you”
And I really wanted to believe her words
But as much as I tried; I just couldn’t