Rich Girls Can Lie

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19 | memories of the past


THE EARLY AUGUST SUN WAS BEATING DOWN ON MINE AND THE LITTLE GIRLS BACK as I chase the little girl by the large patch of field at the back the mansion, her laughter mingled with the light breeze that passed through ruffling and messing up my curly blonde hair

“C’mon Melly, you’re such a slowpoke” Savannah laughed making me laugh as well as I continued to chase the little girl through the long grass as the sweaty sun continued to beat down on me

“I’m going to get you!” I call out teasingly as I run after her through the long grass

She was still laughing joyfully as she ran further away from me but I was too quick for and managed to catch up with her before I grabbed her by the waist and hung her upside down gripping onto her tightly so she wouldn’t fall

“Stop Melanie” Savannah giggled in between shrieks of laughter as her sun kissed blonde hair flopped over her eyes and her rosy cheeks became even more rosy eventually I decided to put her out of her misery and lay her down on the grass

“Alright, alright” I sigh feigning annoyance “I suppose I’ll leave you alone for now”

We sit on the grass in the fields for a few minutes in silence watching as the world goes by until Savannah breaks the silence her blonde hair making her look like an angel as she looks up at me and thats when I realise her eyes are clouded with unshed tears “I don’t want to go back to school when it starts again in a few weeks” Her voice is small and she looks like a broken angel

This was news to me as I always thought the little girl who had just started grade one was happy with the friends she had in school and from what Mom and Dad said a few months ago when they had the yearly Parent - teacher conference her teachers believed she was settling in alright and she seemed more than fine so I just took there word for it but now I was doubting it


“Because of Joshua. He’s a jerk” She huffed

I frowned in confusion “Who’s Joshua?”

“A jerk” Savannah stated plainly like it was the most obvious thing in the world

I roll my eyes it was pointless trying to get anywhere with her, she had inherited my mothers stubborn nature when it came to things like this and so I just left it alone and we spent the rest of the afternoon and well into the evening talking about anything and everything until we fell asleep under the stars

I blink back the tears that were misty over my eyes as I remember my sister with a great deal of pain and guilt stabbing at my chest like little knives. Today was her tenth birthday and I was still missing the little bugger terribly

Through my flashback I had managed to shred a whole patch of grass near the gravestone that I was currently sat at crossed legged on the floor fresh air filling my lungs and my slightly round belly sat caved under my hand as I rubbed circles on it hoping to calm myself down slightly

Suddenly I felt a kick and I feel my face break into a jaw breaking grin

But then I remembered where I was and glanced up at the tombstone and with a small smile I keep my hand on my belly as I begin speaking “Hey Savi I know I know I haven’t visited in a while but before you raise that pitchfork from where you sit in heaven I just want you to know I have my reasons if your looking down at me like I hope you are then you realise that I’m not the only one here today I have another little nugget growing inside of me and before you start screaming at me from your place in heaven that I’m too young it wasn’t really my choice see I was raped at a party that my parents had in your honour, they are setting up a charity to help kids and teens like you and I know they miss you they just haven’t got over your death and I miss you too I wish you were here with me you’d know what to say but your there now and your happy” I whisper the ending as a few tears drop from my chin onto the grass

I expect no reply; so when no reply came I was slightly happy

“I will make a promise to visit you more often because I know you like that” I promise

I haul myself up but as the days tick by it was getting harder to get up on my own especially coming up to hitting the twelve week mark and the bump that I had produced was coming more and more round and visible with each passing day

It was getting harder to do this on my own and I worried with every day getting closer to my due date would I be able to continue on my own or would I crumble under the pressure of becoming a new mother and not be able to care for the child like he or she will need?

Looking back to the tombstone II give another small, sad smile before I cross the way to the gates of the cemetery and walk out of it. When my sister died five years ago nobody really knew about her because my parent’s weren’t as famous as they were now meaning they didn’t have camera’s following our every move as they were just building their career so when my sister got sick nobody knew because of this and the fact that we lived in a small town on the outskirts of New York called Albany and it was only after my sister died did we move to the heart of New York where their career’s took flight and she was buried here in Albany so no one knew of the name Savannah Philips

Because having a daughter who died of cancer was too much for my parents to bare

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