Rich Girls Can Lie

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35 | horror filled faces


HORROR FILLED MY FACE AS THE PIECES OF THE JIGSAW THAT WAS ELLIOT’S LIFE CLICKED WITHIN MY BRAIN. I didn’t know what to say and I didn’t know how to move, my brain was on overdrive and yet was blank at the same time . He used me. Elliot used me to save his own skin and I want to feel something rage, hate, disbelief and upset but I can’t feel anything. I am numb as his words echo in my brain growing louder and louder until all I want to do is scream but I can’t I’m frozen

“Until I met you” Elliot’s voice grows louder in my head and I want to do anything to stop the noise but I can’t I’m frozen, my limbs feel as heavy as lead in those moments and all I can do is hope that I don’t look at him or his captaving brown eyes

But my eyes betray me as they slide over to Elliot’s face and he almost looked...desprate...and guilty at the same time and so he should be but at the same time under his desprate gaze my anger dismishes just a tad but I don’t let that show on my face because he doesn’t deserve any forgivness because he used me. He used me when I was at my weakest point in life and what’s worse was that he made me feel like I could trust him and let him see things about me that I haven’t told anyone

But he destroyed that and my trust as he violated me

“Please say something Melly” He croaks his voice cracking just a little as if his throat was thick with tears and I flinch at the use of the nickname and when Elliot notices this hurt dances around his eyes and I find myself momentarilty happy with the revalation that even he was hurt by this

Good. I thought I hurt him

Guilt swells in my chest and every second I look into his hurt brown eyes it expands like a balloon and I have to remind myself that he hurt me first. Eventually I manage to break eye contact and push out the words “So, what happens next?”

He sighs -- in what looks likes almost relief -- and continues his story “Well, I realised I had three options and the first two were fairly simillar and I didn’t really want to get beat up either way so that left me with option three get the money some other way was to get money from someone and as fate would have it who bumped in to me when I happened to be looking for a solution? None other than New York’s sweetest darling...”

I can’t listen anymore and I feel like the walls are closing in, I try to take deep breathes and remind myself that I’m okay and that nothing bad is going to happen as I gasp for air, suddenly hyperventaling as tears spring to my eyes and much to my dismay begin to fall. I could hear Elliot freaking out and asking me what was wrong, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. I couldn’t because it would only make everything so much worse


I tried to tell myself over and over again as a means to calm myself down, for a moment it seemed not to be working but eventually I calm down but feel immediantly drained of any energy I may have had and I finally work up enough courage to sneak a glance at Elliot, who was sitting there and for the first time, I wasn’t met with a grim or humourful expression instead I was met with an expressio of corcern, horror and curiosty all rolled up into one

“What the hell wa--”

“I think you should go” I say tersely to be honest I don’t know whether I meant to be that harsh or not but having the panic attack really spooked me out, since I haven’t had one since my sister died and it was just after her funeral and my parents announced to me that we would be living in the city from now on and I think I knew what was going to happen in those couple of minutes because all I could think about was how everything was going to go to hell. And it did.

“Alright” Elliot says slowly gaiging my facial expression and when he knew I wasn’t going to suddenly change my mind he stood up and walked across the room and was about to go into the hallway when he turned back to me “You know Philips I really am sorry for dragging you into this mess” and with that he nodded his head and pivoted on his heal

When I heard the door click closed I let out a deep sigh of relief I truly didn’t know what to make of the encounter I had with Elliot Walker and my brain tries to process what the hell had just happened. Elliot admitted that he used me for money. I had a panic attack (that I haven’t had in years) and I kicked out Elliot out

I was drained after my panic attack and not just physically but mentally as well and all I wanted to do is sleep like I always wanted to do when I had my panic attack, granted I had only had a few of them and they were mostly when I was upset or depressed so with the last ounce of my energy I peeled myself of the leather sofa and walk into my bedroom and sluggishy undress myself and change myself into an old baggy t-shirt and shorts before I collasped onto my bed out of pure exhaustion and I fell asleep almost when my head hit the pillow hoping that tommorow when I woke up I would be in a better state of mind

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