04 | addiction
I KNEW THE MORNING WAS GOING TO BE SHITTY BEFORE I EVEN OPENED MY EYES, so why did I even bother getting out of my bed? I don’t know but what I do know that I can’t dissapoint my family again, I had put them through enough over the past few years and I didn’t know how much more of it they could take so even if I didn’t want to I hauled my ass out of bed and put on a forced smile as I made my way to the hell hole that the goverment like to force children to go to for six hours a day, five days a week
In case the above statement was not clear enough I hate school, always have and always will
But I still find myself walking towards the place that I call hell, Imagine Dragons were playing through my earbuds and one of them had fallen out over the course of the journey but I didn’t bother popping it back in again as it would take effort and I was feeling more lazy than usual this morning
I shove my hands in my hoodie jumper and scowl at the grey skies, dont get me wrong, I love overcast weather normally probably because it was better than the sunny days and clear blue skies because when its sunny people tend to be happy and it is often like an infection that people get because once one person is happy it spreads to the next and the next until most of the people are infuriatingly happy whereas when it is overcast people are more dull and it is easier for my brain to manage when people are like that but today, to put it simply, today just feels shitty and as much as I try to shake that feeling off me, I can’t.
And as I walk as fast as I could round the bottom of a familiar hill, my ears suddenly hear a whole lot of sobs and shouting and I curiously look up to the mansion on the hill, this was where the Philips family lived and I have to walk past it every day in order to get to school and often all I hear is nothing but quiet so to hear shouting and sobs radiating from the mansion of the most well known family in the state and to say it spiked my curiosity would be an understatement, because what would be going on in the Philips perfect world to cause this much fighting? I thought the rich families always seemed to have their lives in order....
I try to listen and even though the shouting was quite loud, I could only hear the occasional shrill shriek of Porcha Philips or the angered shout of Ellis Philip but none of what I caught made any sense in my brain as my thoughts were often cut through by the youngest Philips members sobs or another faint voice that I recognised belonged to Lacy Gregory, she is always with Melanie and is often pictured with her on magazines when they come out of somewhere like Starbucks or something , she is just as famous just because she has grown up around Melanie and the Philips but I never thought that Lacy was like best friends with Melanie in real life I always thought she just acted like that for the cameras to make it seem like the Philips weren’t horrible monsters and people can approach them and the media were stupid enough to believe them but I didn’t at least not until now it seemed like Lacy Gregory was trying to make Ellis and Porcha listen to what their daughter had to say
“Please don’t you think that she has been through enough?” I heard Lacy cry “Just listen to her she is telling the truth!”
I heard more yelling and crying mainly from Ellis and Melanie as they continue to yell at each, over what I’m not sure but I do think it’ll be over something quite minor maybe to do with the fact that her parent’s aren’t giving her enough money but then why would Lacy cry at Melanie’s parents like that she must know by now that nobody ever talks to Ellis and Porcha Philips like that I mean she has been Melanie Philips best friend for as long as I can remember so it must have been important but none of it makes much sense to me
I know I should have kept walking and left the family to their private affairs and carry on walking to school after all if I carried on standing around here I was going to be late to school but I couldn’t help staying and before you ask me why, fuck it if I knew all I knew was there was something about this girl something new something different
And something so addicting
She seemed to draw me in closer than any bag of weed ever could and I don’t know why because I’ve always hated the rich girl front that people like Melanie Philips always had whenever they ran into a bit of cash or their daddy’s got a new company which was just booming with business
But if you look a bit closer you get to see the cracks in their lives and that is just what is happening to dear Melanie Philips maybe her life isn’t all that it’s cracked up to and it’s looking a very ‘hip’ life at the minute as the press puts it...Not, something was different about this girl and like I said it was like it was an addiction and it wasn’t just because I was drawn in by her ‘daddy’s rich girl’ charm either no defiantly not I could see the pain behind her eyes that she tries to hide by a warm smile
I never did see the point of pretending to be something you weren’t
Maybe that’s why I was so fucked up
But that’s why I was wanting to get closer to her the New Yorks darling Miss Melanie Philips