He washed me under the shower and gave me a robe, a pink one. He was butt naked, smoking that weed, dancing to Thin Lizzy, that seemed to come out of nowhere. I didn’t see any speakers until I started looking at the ceiling. And the woofers must have been built into the floor or something, because it was vibrating a little. He rolled a joint for me too, and not one of those really strong ones that he gave me earlier but a milder one. I had to go home at some point. Go back into that. And they will judge me for leaving their stupid little bubble, even if it was only for one afternoon.
I liked his dancing. It was mostly slow. But his fingers did all sort of fast stuff. It was kind of weird. I didn’t feel much like dancing. I was tired and heavy. But I felt nice, and he didn’t ask me to join. I was just sitting on that sofa and I watched him dance.
‘You look a lot better naked then you did when you were dressed this morning you know,’ Vincent said.
‘It’s not a complement.’
‘It means you dress shitty.’
‘Yeah, I don’t have anything to wear.’
‘Let’s go shopping then. Or we could go do the...’ (he looked at the clock on the wall) ‘...half hour of school that’s left. If you want to do that.’
I smiled wider than I had smiled since I shot my first rabbit in the eye at age ten. ‘You’re gonna take me shopping!’ I yelled.
‘Relax OK, let’s have coffee first. Long ride.’
‘What do you mean long ride? How far from town do you live?’
‘Half-an-hour. But you can’t shop in town.’
‘Then where do you want to shop? All the way in fucking Denver?’
‘You’re kidding right?’
‘I have good coffee,’ he said and he left me with the music: Romeo and the lonely girl. I cried. I just sat there and I cried. I couldn’t help it. I kept on crying. I hoped he wouldn’t see it, but then again, I kind of wished he did.
I got dressed in my stupid clothes on the terrace and walked back in the room. ‘Where are you?!’ I yelled when I entered the empty room.
‘Over here Sammie,’ Vincent said. It came from the bedroom. I walked in and Vince was putting on a white suit in front of a huge mirror and I could just see him in it. Everything was white except for the tie, which was black. I helped him with getting the collar right.
‘Coffee will be ready in five,’ he said and he walked out of the room. I looked in that mirror. I imagined myself wearing all sorts of stuff that I was going to buy in NYC. This was too good to be true. And I realized that. And I said it to the mirror. ‘It’s too good to be true Sam. So it’s not true,’ and I thought about that for a little while and then I thought: ‘But if it’s only partially true, then that’s good enough for me,’ and I grabbed the plate of cookies that was still on the bed, ate one and took the rest to the living room, that Vincent was just entering, putting a silver watch over his wrist. He walked into the kitchen and came back with two cappuccinos that looked like they were imported straight out of Venice. It was great coffee. At least he was right about that.
As we were walking down the stairs outside of his house, I was really quite amazed.
‘Did you carry me up all these stairs?’
‘I don’t want to insult you but you don’t look so strong.’
‘You’re not insulting me. It’s way better to be a lot stronger than you look then the other way around.’
‘I guess you’re right.’
There was a little garage on the bottom of the stairs. In that garage was the Lexus. And Vince drove it over the gravel very slowly.
‘Can’t you go any faster?’
‘You don’t want to upset the forest. This forest is holy.’
‘Because I live in it.’
‘So, if you would live in a dumpster, the dumpster would be holy too?’
‘This planet is the dumpster of the galaxy but it is also the most holy of all.’
‘Wow,’ I said. I was getting a little tired of all this. Why couldn’t he just make a normal conversation about nothing? Why did it always have to be some sort of deep philosophical thing?
‘I get it Vince, you’re very deep,’ I said after a pause that was a little too long.
‘Not as deep as you,’ he said, as he rubbed the back of his index finger over my throat.
I just sighed. I didn’t know what else to do. Vince opened the window and lit a cigarette.
‘You have any parents?’ he asked.
‘I don’t wanna talk about my parents,’ I said.
‘I just wanted to know whether or not they exist. That’s all. We have to go tell your parents that you are going away for a while.’
‘No. They won’t let me. But I don’t care. I don’t give a fuck! You don’t know me. I’m fucking Sam!’
‘Yeah, that’s great and all but if I just take you, there will be an investigation, they’ll link me to you because they saw you last with me, they’ll scan license plates and there goes the siren. I’m no pussy either but I’m also no idiot. Let’s go to your parents first huh? If you wouldn’t have thrown your phone out of the window you wouldn’t have this problem maybe?’
‘But you hate phones!’
‘I didn’t say that.’
‘But then, why don’t you have one?’
‘Because I don’t need one. But you do.’
I looked out of the window. We were driving out of the forest towards town. I had seen this road before, when me and my dad went camping. We went camping sometimes. Sometimes he came and took me camping. I wanted to go in that road. I didn’t say anything. I remembered that road.
‘Where do you live?’ Vincent asked, as he was throwing his cigarette out of the window.
‘Don’t go to my parents Vince.’
‘Don’t Vince me baby. You wanna go shopping, you gotta tell.’
‘But they won’t let me go!’
‘Vince, you don’t know my mom.’
‘I know everybody. Trust me.’
‘What have I just told you about the Vincing! Stop Vincing me. I’ll do the Vincing around here! I’ll Vince us anywhere and when you get in trouble with Vince, I will Vince our way of it! I am the Vincinator! Now where the fuck do they live Sam?!’
‘Second street on the left... Vincinator.’
‘OK. Which one is it?’
‘Third on the right.’
‘Yes. That one.’
‘Stay in the car.’
‘Stay in the car.’
‘What are you going to do?’
‘Stay in the car.’
‘Are you going to...’ I said and then he slammed the door. I watched him approach the house. I saw him ring the bell. My mother opened. He was saying something to her. She looked very disturbed about what he was saying. She let him into the house. He had left his cigarette pack on the dashboard. I took one. I smoked. I was very nervous. I thought that maybe Vincent would kill her. I kind of wanted him to kill her. But then I didn’t want him to kill her. I didn’t want her to die. I just wanted her to go away. After I smoked the last cigarette of the pack, he came out. He walked very casually to the car. My mom opened the door.
‘You can’t do this!’ I heard. I opened the window a little.
‘You’d be amazed of what I can do.’
‘That’s my child!’
‘A child of God, foremost.’
‘I have to go lady. Please excuse me.’
‘But... but...’ my mom said to Vincent´s back. He got into the car and drove off.
‘What did you do?’ I asked with wide eyes.
‘A magic trick,’ he said.
‘What? WHAT? What the fuck are you talking about Vince?! You say all this fucking shit I can’t fucking understand you Vince YOU NEED TO TELL ME WHAT YOU DID!’
He looked away from me, at the traffic and said, ‘I’ll tell you on the highway. Where’s my cigarettes?’
‘I smoked them.’
‘Then we better go get some more right?’
‘You gotta fake ID?’
‘I have everything.’
‘What did you do Vince?’
‘Don’t worry about it. Nothing really. Here’s a gas station. Why do I live here? I got tired of New York, went to LA, back to New York, Denmark for a while and then I just wanted something quiet so I ended up here with my dad but shit... what a bunch of boring nonsense. Everything is boring nonsense. You wanna fill her up? You know which gas to use, right?’
We got out of the car. I got the regular gas. He opened the tank. I felt cool because he was going into the gas-station and I was filling up his car.
‘You want anything else? A cola or something?’ he yelled before he entered.
‘7 up!’ I yelled and he stuck his thumb in the air. I heard a click. I guess that meant the tank was full. I closed it and sat down on the hood. Vincent walked out with two seven ups and gave one to me. We got in and he drove off. He gave me a cigarette. It was wonderful.
‘Are you really going to drive all the way to New York?’
‘Yes, in three days, we’ll be there.’
‘Are you going to drive for three day’s straight?’
‘OK. But what does your dad do? How do you afford all this? And what have you done with my mom?’
‘Don’t worry about it. Don’t worry about it. And don’t worry about it.’
‘You have to tell me or I want to get out.’
Vince stopped at the side of the road and opened the door, ‘OK,’ he said.
‘Just tell me Vince.’
‘On the highway.’
I sighed. I didn’t know what to think. I wanted to know what he did NOW. I HAD to know. ‘Just tell me now,’ I said.
He got out of the car, walked around and crouched down before me. ‘Brain surgery,’ he said.
‘I did brain surgery.’
I got out of the car. ‘VINCE I CAN’T STAND THIS ANYMORE! YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHAT YOU DID OR I’M GONNA WALK!’ I yelled.
A red truck stopped behind us. It was Ronnie’s truck. Ronnie got out.
‘SAM!’ he screamed, ‘What’s going on here?!’
‘It’s none of your business blondie,’ Vincent said.
‘You stay away from her!’ Ronnie said, ‘Come on Sam. I’ll take you home to your mom.’
I looked at Vince. He lifted his shoulders and spread his arms. There was an apologetic smile on his face. Ronnie walked up to me and he put his arm over my shoulder. ‘What are you doing Sam?’ he asked, ‘This creep didn’t hurt you, did he?’
‘He didn’t,’ I said as I walked with Ronnie to his truck. I looked at Vincent. I wanted him to do something. I wanted to go to New York. I wanted to say something. I got in Ronnie’s truck.
‘Sam. Listen. If he hurt you, I have to know.’
‘He didn’t hurt me Ron.’
‘I promise he didn’t hurt me.’
‘OK,’ Ronnie said and he turned the car around over the road. After twenty seconds Vincent came flying by in his Lexus. He shot past us like a rocket in that car. ‘ASSHOLE! YOU WANNA DIE!’ Ronnie screamed in panic.
‘He can’t hear you Ronnie.’
‘Will you please call me Ron. And what were you doing with that creep?’
‘He’s not a creep.’
‘He looks like a creep to me.’
‘I like him.’
‘No, you don’t.’
‘I do. And be nice or I’m getting out of your stupid truck.’
Ronnie was silent after I said that. When he dropped me off at home, I saw that he wanted to say something. He almost said it, but he didn’t and then he drove away.
I went into the house. My mom was coming towards me. She had been crying. ‘SAM!’ she yelled in complete hysteria. ‘O my God Sam! I thought... What in the name of...? Who is that boy?’
‘That’s Vincent,’ I said.
She held my face with two hands. ‘He’s the devil Sam! That boy is the devil!’ and then she sat down on the sofa and buried her face in her hands. I sat next to her. I didn’t touch her.
‘What did he do?’ I asked.
‘He... he... he showed his teeth!’ she answered.
‘He said you knew.’
‘That he is... that he is... maybe better if you don’t know.’
‘A vampire?’ I asked and my mom broke into another fit of hysteria.
‘Did he... did he turn you?’
‘Thank God! I thought... I always thought... Sam you have to stay away from that boy... you have to promise me Sam!’
‘I’m going to my room,’ I said.
‘Please promise me Sam!’
‘I’M GOING TO MY FUCKING ROOM!’ I screamed at the top of my longs. My mom started crying again. I went to my room and sat down at my desk. I wanted another cigarette. I wanted to go for a run. I just put my head on my intertwined fingers that I placed on the desk. I felt like screaming. ‘Jesus fucking Christ,’ I whispered, and I sat there like that for at least five minutes before I heard a knock on the door.
‘Sweetie can I come in? We have to talk about that...’
‘Go away I don’t want to talk right now!’
‘But honey. I...’
‘Please go away.’
‘But you have to promise me first that whatever you do...’
‘Please GO AWAY!’ I yelled.
‘I’m going to talk to your father. He’ll be home soon. I don’t know what... it’s so strange.’
‘Go away,’ I said and she went away. I laid down on the bed. I was looking in my pocket for my phone. Needless to say, I didn’t find my phone. I did find a piece of paper.
Say the next words three times and then three times the name of the ghost you want to summon: ’Hadi-moso, hadi-moso, gommaexcrantorus di″ Doesn’t work with boring people. They have no ghost. But why would want to summon a boring ghost anyways?
P.S. you can only do it once so think about it carefully.
‘Jesus fucking Christ Vince,’ I said, and then I said ‘Hadi-moso, hadi-moso, gommaexrantorus di,’ three times, every time a little louder, and then I said: ‘Lemmy Kilmister, Lemmy Kilmister, Lemmy Kilmister,’ and just when I said that, it started raining hard, and there was thunder. Three strucks of thunder were heard and with the third thunderstruck, I heard the sound of a very heavily distorted bass-guitar and an image began to emerge in the wall, clearer and clearer, until I saw his face. It was him. It was Lemmy.
‘Greetings from the other side darling,’ he said in his awesome voice.
‘Only his ghost. I was expecting to get summoned someday by now. And then I get summoned by a pretty little thing like you. I always was a bastard. But it took a while before I became a lucky bastard. What do you want honey? You wanna autograph?’
‘O. M. G. yes! Please sign my tit!’
‘Alright, let me just get out of the wall first.’
Brick by brick, Lemmy broke loose from the wall, and became three-dimensional. It was like he never died. But then again, he never did. He stood there for a few seconds, after he broke loose from the wall. He stood firmer than any man I’d ever seen, even in movies or paintings. He lit a smoke, looked at me and grinned. I shivered.
‘Let’s see if I have my pen, finding your pen is the hardest thing about writing you know. Why don’t you take your top of while I do that so we can get to business eh darling? How old are you anyways?’
‘Don’t lie to me darling, ain’t no fucking point anyways cuz how are you gonna sue a ghost? Think about that.’
‘I’m seventeen,’ I said. He smiled and got a pen out of one of the many pockets of his ripped jean jacket.
‘What’s your name darling?’
‘Alright. Here’s a nice thing; ″Sweet Sammie, you have my sincere compliments regarding your perky tits. - Lemmy Kilmister.″ and that’ll be on there forever and only you can see it and everyone that gets a piece of that ass huh... ain’t that a sexy curse?’
I looked at my tits in the mirror. He had the most beautiful handwriting and such a complex and stylistic autograph. I saw in the mirror that Lemmy was putting his hands on me. I heard him whisper in my ear: ‘You ever got fucked by a ghost darling?’