5, Extra Virgin
I was wheeled out of the hospital finally, by my uncle Buck Pope. He was a freelance writer for commercials from San Francisco. He heard about the accident and called me. I had never seen him before but he sounded nice on the phone. The plan was to send me to my grandparents in California after I was released but he suggested that he would just come to Dead Rat and live there with me until my mother was cured from her schizophrenia or my dad would recover. I accepted the offer, both because I didn’t want to live with my grandparents and because I wanted to stay close to what was happening. I also wondered why my friends had not visited me. Maybe because of Annabel. She had a large amount of social power over the rest of the idiot girls.
He wheeled me to his Subaru and helped me in the back seat, where that leg would fit sideways. He had just said: ‘Hello Sam, I’m Buck, I’m here to pick you up,’ I said ‘Good,’ and those were all the words we exchanged in person. He was really businesslike about the proposition too on the phone. A man of few words. I liked that.
After the first hour of a two-hour ride, in which we said nothing, without it seeming strange, he was smoking cigarettes constantly behind the wheel, blowing the smoke out of the window.
‘Can I have a cigarette?’ I finally asked. I forgot not to care. My mom always held my allowance for two weeks if she caught me smoke because ″She’s not giving me money so I can buy lung-cancer″ But she wasn’t here now.
‘Sure,’ he said and he gave me one.
‘Did you drive all the way from Fresno?’
‘Yeah. I like to have my own car.’
‘I heard you were a writer.’
‘I write commercials. You know, ″You want your slippers to grip because you don’t want your grip to slip″, that sort of stuff.’
‘That’s awesome! Do you have more?’
‘Say yes and impress: dress for success.’
‘YEY! How many did you write?’
‘Do you have another one?’
‘My best is...’ he said and suddenly there was a loud honking behind us. I looked in the mirror and I saw Vincent’s Lexus flashing its alarm lights. He stuck his arm out of the window and motioned us to stop.
‘What does this idiot want?’ Buck asked.
‘I know that idiot. Can you pull over mister Pope?’
‘Alright,’ he said and he pulled over behind a lonely unmanned gas-station. Nobody knows exactly where nowhere is but sometimes you do find yourself in the middle of it.
He stopped before us and he got out. He walked around the car and opened the passenger door. An immense black, short haired dog got out of the car. It was the biggest dog I had ever seen in my life. He looked very calm though. He kind of looked like an over-sized Rottweiler with an over-sized German Shepperd in it, and the fur of a Siamese cat. He looked like he could bite through metal if he had to.
Vincent and the dog walked up to the driver’s window. He stuck his hand through there.
‘Hi, I’m Vincent. I was just at the hospital. I was going to visit because I just came back from Romania with my new dog but I heard they just released her. I saw the wheelchair and Sam’s red hair in the rear window and I figured I’d say hi.’
‘VINCE!’ I yelled, ‘What were you doing in Europe all this time?’
‘I told you, business. Up,’ he said and I saw that huge dog head appear in the window. It scared the shit out of me but Buck did not seem impressed at all. ‘You see, that’s Doggio; my dog. I’ll tell you all about him later. He’s the greatest dog in the world. And you are mister?’
‘Well, hello Vincent, I’m Buck Pope, Samantha’s uncle. I’m going to look after her for a little while. So, you’ve been in Romania? Don’t you have to go to school or something? You look barely old enough to drive.’
‘I did some school in Romania. You can do some school everywhere.’
‘Uhm... alright then. Do you want to have dinner with us?’
‘That sounds wonderful. I’ll just drive behind you.’
‘You do that Vincent. We’ll be there in an hour.’
‘Righto,’ he said and he walked back to his car. He was wearing an open white blouse with rolled up sleeves over a white undershirt, black pants and very thick black sunglasses. Doggio jumped into the car as soon as Vincent opened the passenger door. And as he drove behind us, I could see him in the mirror, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel and smoking joints. He smoked a hell of a lot of them behind that wheel. I even saw him roll one while there was still one burning in his mouth once or twice. And that dog was just staring at the road. He never looked anywhere except dead ahead.
After an hour of looking at him smoke weed in the mirror, he pulled up behind us in front of my house. He and Buck helped me into the wheelchair.
‘Can my dog come in?’ Vincent asked.
‘Fine by me,’ Buck said, ‘You’re not allergic are you Sam?’
They dragged the wheelchair backwards over the steps in front of the door and wheeled me inside. I smelled that the house had been empty for a while. There was a bed placed for me in the living room. I hated that. I like my privacy.
‘I’m going to get something to eat. What do you want to eat Sam?’
‘Pizza,’ I said.
‘I can make some, with real dough. You want me to show you kids how to do that?’
‘That´ll be nice Mister Pope,’ I said.
‘Call me Buck,’ he said and he also said; ‘You kids behave now. I’ll be back in less than half-an-hour so if you want to have an alcoholic welcome home party you have to be quick about it.’
‘Yes, mister Pope,’ Vincent said.
‘You can call me Buck too kid,’ Buck said and he closed the door behind him. And right after he did that, Vincent pulled a 42 out of an ankle holster and pressed the barrel hard against my forehead.
‘If you’re werewolf you better tell me now Sam...’
‘What the fuck?! What the fuck Vince?! What the fuck are you talking about?!’
‘You tell me right now or I’ll fucking blow your fucking brains out Sam! You tell me right the fuck now if you’re a fucking werewolf Sam... you better tell me right the fuck now...’ he said. His voice was shaking and his eyes were wide. I saw tears appear in them.
‘You’re not going to pull that trigger.’
’I’ll pull that trigger Sam. You better fucking believe that I will pull this fucking trigger if you don’t tell me right now what you are and what you did to Ghargatron in the Pacific... I swear to God...′
‘You’re a pussy Vince. You’ll never pull the trigger because you’re a pussy. You could prove me wrong but I’ll never know so you’ll never have the satisfaction of seeing me admit that.’
He thought for a second after I said that, not more than a second, then he took a step back and held the barrel against his temple. ‘Tell me now or I’ll prove to you that you’re wrong and you’ll never have the satisfaction of admitting that to me.’
‘Jesus Vince. I’m not a fucking werewolf.’
‘Look me in the eye,’ he said as he put the gun back in its holster and stepped towards me. I looked him in the eyes.
‘Say it. Say ″I am not a werewolf.″’
‘I am not a werewolf.’
‘OK... OK... I’m sorry, I thought... it’s just... it’s been rough baby. But I believe you.’
‘You can’t just point guns at people!’
‘I know,’ he said as he sat down on my dad’s chair, ’I just... It’s been rough baby...’, and he put his head in his hands. Doggio walked slowly toward him and he put his head on Vincent’s knee. Vincent stroked him on the head. Doggio made a very soft and light noise.
Vincent got his phone out of his pocket and put it on the coffee-table. With extreme ease and quickness, he tapped it a few times and a recording started playing:
’This is Vincent Offenbach reporting the murder of our King Ghargatron Karnakle. It was the work of a werewolf. I was on Ghargatron’s oil-tanker, teaching him how to work with the Rottweiler-Beelzebat-Wolfdog I had given him. I was shooting flying potato’s out of the air when I heard loud noises and screams from the belly of the ship. It was like hell had broken loose. I reloaded the MG I was shooting with quickly and hurried with it below deck. When I got down the stairs, I saw Ghargatron fly through the hallway with a sword in his hand and crash into the wall behind. ‘WE HAVE A WEREWOLF ON BOARD!’ he screamed as he was running back to where he flown from. I ran next to him in the hall and dropped the MG, for I knew it would be of no use in the battle. I grabbed one of the silver swords that hung on the wall. After a minute of running we were at the stern, to which the hall was leading. There was a room there and I saw the wood of the door that Ghargatron must have flown through still lying around. It was Ghargatron’s study room. It was turned to shreds. All the furniture was completely destroyed and the metal walls were dented everywhere. ‘We’re gonna get this motherfucker Vincent!’ Ghargatron said.
‘We better!’ I said.
It goes without saying that we stuck together. We went up to the deck and what we found there was gruesome beyond believe. The deck was red with blood and covered with the bodies of women and dogs. I told Ghargatron that it was better to wait for the werewolf’s return here in the open because I did not feel like fighting one of those fuckers in close quarters. Ghargatron was nothing but raging fury after he saw what the wolf had done to his dogs and women. He screamed, ‘COME OUT KITTY, KITTY, KITTY! WE WANT TO PLAY! COME OUT KITTY!’ and he had a maniacal look on his face. We walked together over the deck. I saw it move over the bridge fast, tapped Ghargatron on the shoulder and pointed. He nodded. We ran towards the bridge and the thing jumped down on us. We could both dodge the attack and the wolf crashed through the floor. We looked in the hole it had made and we jumped after it. The hole went on for three floors. It was dark where he landed. The creature managed to sneak up on us from behind and bit Ghargatron’s shoulder. I saw a twinkle in the eye of the wolf, I aimed and I hit that twinkle with the sword. The wolf panicked and jumped out of the hole. Ghargatron and I went after it. We were just on the deck when we heard it jump in the water. We ran to the helicopter so we could chase it. Ghargatron had a golden mini-gun in his golden helicopter that I shot at the wolf. It slowed him down some but we couldn’t stop it. We did reach it and got very close to the wolf.
‘TAKE THE STEERING!’ Ghargatron screamed. I sat down in the co-pilot’s chair and told Ghargatron I was ready. He got out of the cockpit and stood in the door with his sword in his hand.
‘HOLD HER LOW AND STEADY VINCENT!’ he screamed at me and I did my very best. At one-hundred-and-fifty miles an hour, he jumped out of the helicopter on the werewolf’s back. I heard it growl and cry but I could not see what was going on do to all the water splashing up. Then Ghargatron flew up to the helicopter and was cut in a thousand pieces by the blades of his chopper. I followed the wolf as far as the tank of the helicopter could take me. I last saw it on the Mexican coast. I am now in a bar in San-Martinez, Mexico and I need extraction fast. The helicopter is camouflaged with leaves and some local boys are guarding it.
Please also extract the Rottweiler-Beelzebat-Wolfdog off the oil tanker. You’ll find it in the control room. Might also be life regular dogs and women there. I didn’t have time to check but I’ve seen none. Over.′
‘Jesus Vince...’ I said and then there was silence. A lot of it. I wanted to say something but only that soft, high sound was heard, that Doggio was making. I thought of something to say finally:
‘You know what I don’t understand about the Matrix? It’s that, if Cyrus knows the steak he is eating might as well be dog shit, why are they sitting in a restaurant? Smith doesn’t care either because he’s a computer program. So why are they not in the gutter, eating dog shit, or just a white room, with black curtains, at the station... you know... It doesn’t make any sense to me.’
‘That’s a great question and Cream reference. It shakes the foundation of the philosophical construct presented in that movie hard enough for the building to collapse!’
‘I know right! Or take this paradox: if Morpheus shows you ″the world for what it is in actuality″ (and I actually did finger quotes with that), how could you tell then, that Morpheus himself is not part of the Matrix and him showing you that is just part of the program?’
‘You just thought about that?!’
‘I spend a lot of time in a hospital bed. I did a lot of thinking in between reading that fucking book.’
‘But you are glad you read it though?’
‘Yeah... I really am. It made me grow.’
‘You make me grow.’
‘You also make me grow. But you make me grow into a monster.’
‘You were already a monster before I met you,’ he said. He came closer and crouching before me, he put his hand on my cheek and said: ‘A very beautiful monster.’
‘I know,’ I said, ‘You’re a beautiful monster too,’ and just when we were about to kiss, Buck came in with the ingredients for our home-made pizza to be.
‘Alright, you wanna help me make this pizza? I am starving. Let’s put some music on and make this thing happen. What kind of music do you kids like.’
‘Classical,’ Vincent said.
‘Heavy-metal,’ I said, simultaneously with Vincent.
‘Then I know just the thing. Do you know where heavy-metal comes from Sam?’
‘Burroughs,’ Vincent said.
‘The term, yes, but what about the sound?’
‘Link Wray,’ I said.
‘The texture of the sound, yes, but what about the tonal intervals and the rhythmic structure?’
‘I don’t know Buck, tell me,’ I said.
‘I think he’s right Sam,’ Vincent said.
‘And he’s also Italian so great pizza making music per definition.’
‘Per definition,’ I repeated.
‘Also, if you want to make pizza, you have to drink good Italian wine while cooking it, eating it and digesting it. And guess what I just found in my bag?’ he said as he pulled out a bottle of Don Peignoir from the shopping bag.
Buck pored the wine and we sat at the living room table because I couldn’t stand up at the kitchen counter. It was really good. Paganini was good too.
‘The most important thing about making real Italian pizza is choosing the right olive oil. Of course, you need extra virgin, but real extra virgin. This tiny little supermarket here doesn’t have extra virgin, it just has this stuff unfortunately. I’ll order a real extra virgin online later. It’s very important that it is extra virgin.’
‘But it says extra virgin on the bottle!’ I said.
‘It always does,’ Vincent said.
‘It also says made in Italy. I know this probably comes from New Mexico. I wonder when New Mexico became New Italy sometimes,’ Buck said.
‘Maybe we should tell them,’ I said.
‘Maybe we should,’ Vincent said.
‘Alright, anyways... I’ll just tell you what to do and you can make the dough OK? That way you learn it best.’
‘OK Buck,’ I said and what followed was a very long sequence of cooking instructions that I paid very good attention to because I was starving. We had to put the yeast in the water and stir, we had to make a volcano with the flour and poor that yeast-water into the crater, then we kneaded, which took forever because it was never good enough, we greased up a bowl with the fake extra-virgin olive-oil and turned the dough around in it, then Buck put a cover on the bowl and said: ‘Just let it rest for four hours.’
‘Four hours!’ I yelled, ‘I thought you said you were starving!’
‘Yes, and in four hours I’ll really be starving. Now that is when pizza tastes the best.’
‘But it’s already eight in the evening!’
‘What’s wrong with eating at midnight?’
’Nothing, I guess. But I really need to eat something now.′
‘OK, how about a mango? I bought some mangos for breakfast.’
‘Is that all you bought? Pizza stuff, wine and mangos?’
‘I also bought cigarettes.’
‘Great. Can I have the mango please?’
‘Alright,’ he said and he walked into the kitchen. A little later he came back with a plate, on which a mango tower was build, with little strips of it, that were laid over each other crosswise with a dipping bowl of red sauce. Next to it he placed a bowl of water so I could wash my hands and avoid dough on the mango because ″You don’t want no dough on your mango you know″. I realized that Buck was a pretty strange guy.
‘I’m going to set up shop in your parent’s room and get to work. Your mom wouldn’t mind if I smoke there right? Last time I saw her she was smoking one after the other.’
‘No, she doesn’t. We always smoke in the house.’
‘Good,’ Buck said, ‘It is strange though, that you don’t have any ash-trains around then.’
‘Dad likes to make them out of empty beer-cans. Whoever was here to clean out the fridge and put that bed here must have thought they were trash.’
‘You need any help carrying your stuff upstairs?’ Vincent asked.
‘No, I don’t have a lot of stuff. I just have to walk once. And please don’t ever bother me while I write OK. Only excuse is when someone is dying or dead. I’ll be done when the dough is. You kids will entertain yourself, right? And don’t drive anywhere because you had wine and I don’t want to be responsible for two teenagers dying in a car-crash. I think you should just call your parents and sleep over Vincent.’
‘That might be best,’ Vincent said while I was munching the mango tower down, which tasted great with that sauce. Vincent lit a cigarette and gave me one too after Buck walked out into the hall.
‘I’m going to wash my hands,’ Vincent said and he went to the kitchen. He sat on his knees behind me when he came back, he put his hands around my waist and his chin on my shoulder. ‘Where were we?’ he whispered in my ear and then he kissed my cheek. He placed a plate on the table and put the cigarette out on it. I did the same thing.
‘Can you put me on the bed Vince? I’m tired.’ He very gently lifted me off the chair and laid me down on the bed. ‘Come here,’ I said and he laid down beside me. It barely fitted. He looked at me and I looked at him and he smiled and I smiled and we kissed. He held me close and I held him close. He was so gentle. So tender. I felt his fingers go up and down my shoulder.
‘What is it Sammie?’
‘I have to tell you something.’
‘OK. Tell me.’
‘I’m a virgin. Kind of.’
‘That’s OK,’ he said and he kissed me again.
‘Do you want to...’ I said and he put his finger to my lips, ‘Just relax,’ he said and he got off the bed. He closed the curtains and took his clothes off. He went back to the bed. He lifted my skirt up and pulled my panties down. He kissed my foot everywhere and he said; ‘This is already more leg than I know what to do with,’ and he moved upwards. A hundred kisses further he was there and my eyes widened as a quivery moan escaped from between my lips. His finger went in and he was gently rubbing the inside of my pussy while he sucked on my clit. I took off my shirt and bra and he kept going. A glorious few minutes later, I came, and he heard, and I think Buck must also have heard but I didn’t give a fuck about Buck. Vincent went further up and a hundred-and-fifty kisses and licks later he reached my mouth, and he wanted to kiss me but I said: ‘Why don’t you have a sport-life first?’ He gave me a sweet evil grin and put his forehead against mine and I felt his cold breath on my lips and I wanted to kiss him but I didn’t. I felt him move in there with his big pale dick. Pain had never hurt so good. I came again while we were fucking and then I did kiss him. He wasn’t done fucking me after I came and he went on for a good five minutes before he got off and I could relax the pussy-muscles. He put his arm around me and he gave me the most loving smile and he licked my lips and nose and I smiled and I started laughing and he started laughing and then Doggio barked. It was like an air alarm had gone off. You could feel the floor vibrate for half-a-second after that bark. Buck came running down the stairs. Doggio sat down and looked very calmly at Buck. Buck looked as us.
‘So, you kids fuck?’
‘We make love,’ Vincent said.
‘Was that your dog?!’
‘Yes. He wanted to celibate the love Sam and I just made. That’s all.’
‘Is he going to do that again?’
‘Sam... what’s that on your tit?’
‘I don’t see anything on her tit,’ Buck said and then he said: ‘Why the fuck am I looking at my little cousin’s tits? Jesus. I’ll leave you kids to it then... Can you hang a cowboy-hat on the door next time?’
‘A cowboy-hat on the door?’ I asked.
‘Yes. That’s how we always did it in good old Texas. Vince can you look at me? I know she has nice tits but... what the fuck am I saying! I’ll get you kids a cowboy-hat later. And don’t get pregnant on me Sam!’ he said and then he closed the door of the living room.
‘Sweet Sammie, you have my sincere compliments regarding your perky tits. Lemmy Kilmister,’ Vincent read and then he rolled over the ground laughing. ‘Did you... did you...’ he said, trying to catch his breath, ‘Did you lose your virginity to the ghost of Lemmy Kilmister?!’
‘Yes!’ I said.
‘It doesn’t count.’
‘Because ghosts aren’t real. Everybody knows that!’
I started laughing too. That was really funny.
‘Come on,’ Vincent said, ‘Let’s get dressed and cool off outside with Doggio huh? Smoke some of that ganga-ganga.’
‘Great idea Vince,’ I said and not that much later I was wheeled threw the summer-night under the Colorado stars. There was a little park in the center of Dead Rat and he laid me down on the grass there, laid next to me and rolled a joint. ‘Without the starlight in your eyes the world would be the darkest place,’ he said.
‘What’s the point of light if it can’t make me see you smile?’
‘But you see me smile Sam. You’ll always see me smile if you stay with me...’
‘Did you smile when you brought me to hell?’
‘I did Sam, and I’m sorry. But how could you know you’re in heaven if you’ve never seen hell?’
‘Where does this end Vincent?’ I asked. I was scared.
‘We’ll know when we’re dead,’ Vincent whispered in my ear and then he kissed that ear. I was looking up at that infinity there. I wanted that.
‘Only in your eyes and this sky above me do I see infinity,’ I said.
‘That is my infinite love for you, that you see.’
Shit, I thought, why does he always have to romance top me?! I thought and said: ‘I fuck your dad.’
‘I love you too,’ he said and after that we just sort of laid there. Doggio put his head on my belly, and it was warm and soft but heavy as a bowling ball. And the stars shun on but we could never last. Then, suddenly, there was a noise, it was Vincent´s voice but his lips weren’t moving. ‘Whatever you were waiting for is ready,’ the voice said. Vincent got his phone out of his pocked, ‘Pizza’s ready in ten minutes,’ he said. ‘These things are fucking convenient, you hungry Sam?’
‘I could eat a horse!’
‘Let’s get you back in the chair then and make a run for it,’ he said and he put me in the wheelchair and started running with it incredibly fast. I felt the wind in my hair. Doggio ran besides us. We were home in five minutes and it was a twenty-minute walk. I just laughed the entire way back.
Buck was beating the dough. We saw him fighting it in the window. He punched it as if that dough had killed his mother before his eyes. We came in the hall and he didn’t notice us. ’You fucking dough! You die! You die you fucking dough! I am going to kill you! It’s your fucking fault you stupid dough! Killzio and Killziet was a genius novel! You fucking dough! It’s your fault! Prepare to be made a pizza of!′
We listened to it laughing, then we came into the room.
‘Hi kids. Pizza will be ready in twenty minutes. Next time I’ll show you how to do the rest of the pizza but I’m hungry and I want it done fast. Have you been running Vincent?’
‘Yes, I took Sam for a run. I first saw her in the forest. She was running. I’ve been running after her ever since.’
‘I can’t wait until we can run together,’ I said.
‘You kids make me noxious. Remind me to take refuge in Siberia when Valentine’s day arrives,’ Buck said while he was rolling the dough and spun it in the air. He started putting all sorts of vegetables, spices, meat, cheeses and tomatoes on there. It smelled delicious. ‘You haven’t got a nice single mom do you Vincent?’ Buck asked.
‘I do,’ Vincent said, ‘but she’s single for a reason.’
‘And what reason might that be?’
‘I’m sorry to hear that Vincent,’ Buck said. He stopped with the pizza while he said that and he looked down. Then he did the last touches of the pizza and walked with it to the kitchen. ‘You should visit me in Fresno, I’ve got a real stone oven there. Out of real stones. I could also make an oven out of you because you kids are really stoned, aren’t you?’
‘Yes,’ Vincent and me said simultaneously.
‘That’s cool. Makes the pizza taste even better. I’m really glad you’re cool kids. I was worried that you might be a bunch of imbeciles.’
‘Most kids are imbeciles,’ I said.
‘Grown-ups are even worse.’ Buck said, ‘It’s why most kids are imbeciles, it’s because most adults are too. Where do you think they learn it from?’
Vincent put me on the couch and put my leg on the coffee table.
‘He kids, I’m gonna smoke a joint too while the pizza’s burning because I don’t feel like eating pizza with stoned people while not being stoned myself. IF WE MUST BE STONED! LET US GET STONED TOGHETTER! AND THOU WITHOUT SIN CAN CAST THE FIRST STONE AND STONE US FURTHER!’
‘You want some of mine?’ Vincent asked.
‘I grew red devils in the mountains. I went up there a month ago and I saw a bee sitting on one of m’, and when the bee got off, he sat right on the palm of my hand, totally relaxed and fell asleep.′
’Bullshit,′ Buck said.
‘Smell for yourself,’ Vincent said and he held a big weed-bag open in front of Buck’s nose.
‘Well, well, well...’ Buck said, ‘You do understand that as a responsible adult, I do have to confiscate a substantial portion of that illegal substance you put your life in danger with,’ and he got an empty click-bag off the table and held it in front of Vincent, who put a large chunk of marijuana in there. ‘I’ll be outside doing my own little romance thing with sweet Mary-Jane then,’ he said and walked into the back garden.
Vincent got up, tapped on his phone and he put on the Motörhead album Overnight Sensation. He started dancing a little to it. Fifteen minutes later, Buck came in with a wide smile, red eyes and a big ass pizza. It smelled fucking delicious. He put the pizza on the table and opened a black wooden box. He took out a silver pizza-cutter. ‘That’s a real sixteen karat pizza-cutter there. I won that in Boston. I never leave my house without it. When some fucking motherfucker is gonna rob me, I’ll pull this motherfucker on him and make a fucking sliced pizza out of that motherfucker! I tells you sweeties. I tells you! I motherfucking tells you sweet motherfuckers that if some motherfucker fucks with this motherfucker, I’m gonna motherfucking slice that motherfucker up with a motherfucking sixteen karate silver pizza-cutter! Shit... You kids want big or small slices?’
‘I shall slice only three!’
‘What about Doggio?’ I asked.
‘FOUR SLICES! Come here Doggio!’
Doggio did nothing. Vincent clicked with his mouth and Doggio got up right away and sat before us. Vincent put one of the huge pizza slices on its head. He waited five seconds, then he nodded and Doggio threw the slice in the air, caught it and ate it up it in one swallow.
‘What the fuck kind of dog is that?’ Buck asked.
‘A very special breed.’
‘The breed that is MY DOG!’
‘MY DOG!’ I screamed.
‘MY DAWG!’ Buck screamed.
‘DOG MY DAWG!’ Vincent screamed and then Doggio howled and again the floor vibrated. The howl lasted three seconds and it was like all the orchestras in the world were playing together in the throat of that dog. ‘Jesus,’ Buck said and then we had the pizza.
‘You kids like my pizza?’ Buck asked.
‘I would describe it as such;’ I said, ‘if God was a woman and the oven from which it came was her pussy, it’d be something like that pizza of yours.’
‘Thanks. I also make pretty good omelets. And your dad’s insurance gave me a big ass food budget. That’s one good thing about working with big fucking corporate conglomerates. You get big fucking insurance. Everything is big in those big fucking things. Even the fucking is big. They’ll fuck you big. They’re big fuckers.’
‘These slices are too,’ I said.
‘Yeah,’ Vincent said, ‘these are big fucking slices,’ and then we just ate and listened to the Motörhead album that was still playing. ‘I DON’T BELIEVE A WORD!’ Lemmy sang. We had some wine after that and cigarettes outside. We didn’t talk. Doggio said nothing. The stars said nothing. The wine said nothing. I said nothing. And then I said: ‘What?’
‘What, what?’ Vince said.
‘What, what, what?’ Buck said.
‘Nothing,’ I said.
‘I’m going to bed,’ Buck said, ‘Were you planning to go to school or something while I look after you?’
‘I don’t know. I’ll think about it tomorrow.’
‘Alright Sam, see you tomorrow.’
‘You have a really nice uncle Sam,’ Vincent said with a very wide smile and after we were done laughing about that he said: ‘You look tired Sam.’
‘I am,’ I said and he wheeled me down to the living-room and put me in the bed. ‘I’ll be here shortly. I have to think about certain things alone for a few minutes.’
I was really tired from all this and I fell asleep shortly after. When I woke up and opened the curtains to the back yard, I saw Vincent still sitting there, with a notebook, a pen, a coffee and a joint, looking straight ahead. Doggio was sleeping in front of him.