The Journal of James Oaklund

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4/11?

4/11:

I...Guess I accomplished at least one thing I set out to do. I woke up today and checked my phone, only to see that it was 4/11. The day I'd first met the doc. So I guess the timeline really did fix itself, in the end. Except...Certain things are still messed up.

I went to the hospital today, and, sure enough, Ryan's mother was still comatose. I called Ryan several times, or at least, tried to, but my phone kept telling me the number I was trying to call had been disconnected. Guess he's still dead, since I couldn't find him at the hair salon he usually works at or his house.

Amy still isn't back, either. I tried calling her several times as well, with very similar if not identical results to when I tried calling Ryan. When I dropped by her place, it looked at least a little cleaner than how I'd found it the day I'd found her body. No Amelia or Amaryllis, though. Mittens was there, however. I took him home with me, because there's no way I could live with just leaving him to starve to death in there.

I picked up some cat food from the supermarket Amy used to work at after dropping Mittens off, since it was in the neighborhood, and asked about her out of curiosity. Nobody had any idea who I was talking about. So whatever the hell Benjamin did with her, she's really, really gone. I think the universe couldn't reconcile them being dead, or something, and just wrote over them. I don't get most of that shit anyways.

There is one 'person' who came with me after the reset, though. Every time I close my eyes for longer than a couple of seconds, I see that...Thing in the darkness. The thing that spoke to me after I killed Ben. It doesn't even speak to me, though...Just fucking watches. Just sits there and stares at me. I've found myself closing my eyes just to stare at it from time to time in all of its incomprehensible, cosmic horror. It's become a bit of a morbidly amusing pastime, even.

The best comparison I can think of would be some kinda Lovecraftian entity, but I'm not terribly knowledgeable about those books, so I can't give a terribly specific comparison. I don't know what it wants me to do for it exactly, I don't know how to get it to leave me alone, but at this point, I just feel too tired to worry enough about it to be scared of it.

I couldn't find their bodies, of course, but I wanted to have a proper sort of a funeral, I guess technically a memorial thing for Amelia, Amaryllis, and Ryan. I have framed photos of me with Ryan and Amelia, but I didn't really have anything for Amaryllis. So, I stopped at a florist and picked up some of the flowers she was named after, as well as a couple of candles at the convenience store down the street.

I caught a bus over to Hyacinth Amadeus Park, in the middle of the city, and found a tranquil spot by the river. The park was mostly just a series of thin walking paths leading through a seemingly-endless expanse of flowers of all kinds. There was a path that lead down to the bank of the river that ran through it, with a few trees stretching partly over the water.

I laid the framed photos and the amaryllis flowers at the base of a nearby ash tree overlooking the water, and set the candles up on either side. I hoped people would see this and understand it was a memorial, and treat it with respect. I sat there for a while staring out at the river and, honestly...I wouldn't mind being laid to rest with a view like this.

I got a call from my old boss at the grocery store and I've got to cover a shift cause one of the other butchers called out, in about an hour. Burkley's wouldn't even pick up the phone when I tried a couple times to call them.
Heh, it's kinda funny in a really, really fucked up way. I'm right back where I started, and I'm exclusively worse off. I think the only 100% positive change is the fact that I now have a cat. Even then, I only have Mittens cause both Amy(ies?)s either disappeared or died. Next time I see an advertisement at Du Monde I'm tearing the whole goddamned board down.

I'd like to close out my last journal entry by mentioning a few more things, like the fact that I haven't seen any more of those bloodied white roses anywhere around town, thank god. They all seem to be gone.
There's also those weird voice memos...Yeah, I'm still getting them, but I still can't understand anything about what they mean or why they're being sent to my phone. They seem to be snippets of advertisements or something for things that don't exist sometimes, other times they seem to be fragments of conversations that are so distorted by static I can't tell what they're saying at all.

But biggest of all, I happened to stop by where I remembered doc's lab being before on my way home. I guess I just wanted to see if it'd still be there. Guess whatever voice urged me to check was right, though; the bunker-like building was still, indeed, sitting right where it had been just yesterday...
...Does yesterday really apply? I'm now a month back in time from then...
Feels like it was yesterday, though. I tried the door out of curiosity, but it was locked tight. I noticed a sign that said "CONDEMNED" taped to one of the outside walls, and left with a smile. At least that bastard was well and truly gone.

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