Why was sleeping in class always more rewarding than sleeping in home? Francis never understood it. He could sleep a complete ten hours at night when he was a kid and still feel groggy. He would lay his head on the desk for thirty minutes, only thirty minutes, and feel more awake and alert. Even when he stayed up all night, thirty minutes on the desk and he was good to go.
But that was only a night of minimum sleep, less than two hours. What about two days then a paltry amount? Everything was relative, and he slept like a log until his pillow needed to stir. Francis groaned as Carl pushed him off. The groggy drachan slapped his lips, slurping up the most recent line of drool while a small river still trickled down the ground between them. He glowered at the Fang, closing his notebook and stowing his pencil in its rings- and even more when he had the gall to stand, forcing him to balance on his own.
“Rude much?” Francis grumbled, yawning. “I was comfy.”
“It’s time for lunch,” Carl muttered.
“It is? Bitchin’.” He stood, his legs shaking as the rest of his body locked him into a stretching, cracking and popping every single column up his spine. “There we go... play the old xylophone.”
He sighed as the last two in his neck gave the loudest, hardest cracks, then stretched his arms to the ceiling, just grazing it as they cracked as well. His right fell first, wiping his jowls clean before swiping them on Carl’s arm-
“Really? Is that necessary?” He said, grabbing some paper towels from the dispenser on their desk.
“Yeah. Gets me off to torment a Fang.”
“Speaking of ‘getting off’,” Ben chimed in, laughing in what Francis could only assume was meant to be a suggestive tone. Olen added his catchphrase in there as the fat centaur did, grabbing his bucket as Ben lumbered over to their table. “How was your date?”
“It was okay. As okay a first date can go.”
“What did you guys do?” Lucas sung, tapping his shoulder. “Don’t skip the juicy bits.”
“I’m quite curious myself,” Captain Kidd said. “What does a harpy and a drachan do for fun?”
“What does a lizan do for fun?” Francis shot back.
“Now that is the eternal question. Until I arrived here, I had no premise or basis on what that word even meant. Watching you buffoons, it has come to be known as something the simplest do to entertain themselves which may or may not cause harm to others... or may be the focus of their entertainment.”
“... You’re a wordy bastard, aren’t you?”
“But of course! I came here as the black sheep of the lizan, after all. I am no mere savage vying for territory but in pursuit of higher purpose.”
“You know, you used to be my favorite in this room, Kidd... That sort of docked you a few points.”
“Believe what you will. I am not here to vie for popularity nor to attempt to make friends or connections. My goal is scholarly, pure and just.”
“I can respect that. You got your points back.”
“No, because that tone showed you are a hypocrite. Thanks for playing!” He huffed, shaking his head. “To clarify, I’m fucking with you, Kidd-”
“I know I know. I might still be new to all this, but I’m quick on it (most of the time). I understand how you all at least work.”
“You do? Even the dark lord?”
“Alas no. I still can’t understand them at all.”
“Then we are on the same page.” They shared a laugh... silenced under the bulking shadow’s glare –once more standing right behind Francis. “Anyways, the date was simple enough. I got home after an all-nighter of playing cards, get molested by my nanny, saved just in time by Cass, the nanny bitches about my plans, forces new plans, Plank, everyone’s favorite girlfriend-not girlfriend, is now our driver, we go bowling, meet the witches, a drag race happens, her engine jumps for freedom, we meet a spider, come home, we snuggle after she swoons at the sight of my cock, then we had coffee, I ran by a moped, and I flirt with a Fanger out in the parking lot before, finally, coming here and going to bed.”
He took a breath at last and collapsed back into his seat, feeling a bit light-headed. The others, though, seemed drawn to his shift, closing in. He could hear the cogs in their heads cranking away, creating so many questions for every single moment he mentioned... and, sad part was, each one was a story in its own right.
Before he needed to answer any of it, though, the door crashed open.
“Where is he?” A high, whining, naggy voice boomed through the room, and Francis never saw Ben shuffle away so fast. It actually took a moment for his folds to follow, showing off a rather fit physique under the rows upon rows of blubber. However, waiting on the other side of that fleshy screen were two more centaurs, the one in front hopefully the keeper of that nagging voice. He hoped, but he knew it was true; it came with the “Let me speak to your manager” set she wore so proudly. She had the characteristic bob cut with the slight swipe down over the eye, dyed a garish shade of brown that clashed with her natural blond under, which, also, clashed with her black roots. She had thick, round sunglasses on, even in the middle of the night, but they were gone, showing off her haggard, angry brown eyes, boring into Francis as she approached him. Her hooves clacked away, and he caught hints of black heels... heels on a horse... That was when his mind snapped and forgot any other detail of her because... why? “Hey! You! Are you Francis... HEY! I’m talking to you.”
“You are?” He uttered, looking around. “Are you sure you aren’t talking to one of them? They probably have more of a fuck to give.”
“Oh dear,” the man behind her said, which, aside the lack of fat and more gray and wrinkles, looked almost identical to... oh... The woman scoffed, and stamped her right foot –again making that heel clack... why?
“You... You’re the reason my poor boy has a tarnished record,” she said. “I had to see you for myself, you... you...”
“Go on,” Francis said, rolling his wrist. “Use your words.”
“Mister and Missus Dover,” Johnny chimed in, trying to step in the way. “What a pleasant surprise. You made sure to check in with Lilith in her office, correct?”
“We did,” Mister Dover said. “She said your class was about to be excused for lunch-”
“Which is why we hurried up,” Missus Dover said, spitting the words at Francis. “Unlike trash like you, ours and my sweet boy’s time are precious. You’ll have plenty of it to waste away once you’re behind bars.”
“Eh. C-minus,” Francis said. “Using the same insult t-”
“Are you back-talking me! Are you sassing me?”
“I have a feeling even a strong breeze would be offensive to you right now, so yes. Yes, I-”
She slapped him. Twice... He cleared his throat, and stood... smiling at her.
“Oh, I can tell we’re gonna have fun,” he said, and rolled his wrist again. “Continue, though. Use your words.”
“It was a mistake they allowed you in this school,” she stated. “Things like you bring nothing but trouble, but I am here to say this: Keep my boy out of your schemes. He’s a good boy.”
“Mom...” Ben mumbled.
“Hush now, Benny dear.” She sucked on her lip, then jutted her finger into Francis’s chest again. “I have been talking to the dean of this school about how it is unsafe for my darling to be here with scum like you. Unless she does something about your... presence, then I will have no other choice than to pull Ben out of this establishment... as well as any and all of my husband’s donations.”
“Wait... You’re trying to get me kicked out of this place?”
“It looks like you have something of a brain in there, after all. Yes; you don’t belong h-”
He hugged her, chuckling- cackling. “Oh, thank you!!! Thank you thank you thank you thank you...”
She didn’t know what to say. Her husband looked as flabbergasted by his response as she most likely did, but he didn’t see her face until she found herself again and shoved him away. By then, though, her face was nothing but hate and anger... and indignation.
“Y-you dare-” She began, then wheeled her head to Johnny. “Call the dean now! I was just assaulted.”
“A hug isn’t assault-” Johnny began. Wrong answer.
“Oh! So you are aiding a would-be rapist. You’re lucky I left my gun back in the car; I am literally fearing not only for my life but for my son’s and husband’s. It’s a good thing he’s going to be expelled, because otherwise he’d be filled with lead-”
“Say, Mister Dover?” Francis interrupted. “I’ve been meaning to ask. I can’t quite tell from your bitch’s accent, but where you guys from?”
“B-bitch? Bitch! How dare y-”
“I want to say Nevada. It has enough of a blend of southern but enough of the west coast to make it seem retarded. Definitely entitled enough to be from there.”
“Good call. She is from Cali,” he said. “And we live in Perfection, Nevada-”
“No way! Perfection?”
“You heard of it, huh?”
“Only from my dad’s old videos! Tell me, how big are the worms now?”
“Shoot, son! It’s been forever since I heard that movie.”
“You know it then?”
“I do. It was my favorite to watch with the kiddos when-”
“When what?” Missus Dover interjected, spinning on her husband. And slamming her rear and its hazelnut tail against him. “Daryl, is there something you’re hiding from me?”
“Probably a lot of things,” Francis said, tugging on a loose hair. “It’s better to hide things from a control freak after all.”
She growled, spun, trying to smack him again-
Only for him to catch her hand.
“Wha-” She began, and he shoved her hand against her chest.
“Be thankful. Three is where I draw the line. I wouldn’t want your petty blood on my hands.”
“A-are you threatening me?”
“Me? Threaten? No... Why would I ever do that? Why would I have NEED to threaten?” He sighed, and cracked his fingers... looking over at Ben. “I am sorry to say though, Ben, if she doesn’t back off now I’m gonna end up fucking your mom.”
“How DARE you refer to my Benny in such a vulgar way-”
Francis growled, his fins sprouting as fire frothed from his maw.
“YOU are cutting into my lunchtime. I’m already cranky from being stirred from my nap; do you really want to tangle with a tired, hungry, and slightly horny drachen?”
“That is it! Mister Brimst, I demand you call campus security and tell them I have been threatened and-”
She shrieked, but didn’t move. Her face was locked down on Francis’s hand, clawed into her left breast. His nails sliced so easily through the black dress coat-then-shirt, and one single turn allowed it to fall free of its many keepers. He pulled away a moment, indulging in that gnawed, ruby red tip on dark skin, then palmed it again, groping it more.
“These have seen far better days,” he said, then did the same with its pair... before cocking his head at Daryl. “Question: Do centaurs have two sets of breasts? I know the human half has them, but does the bottom filled up as well? Are there nipples down there?”
“No,” Daryl said. Through gritted teeth... why, though, was the constant question? Revulsion now? Hatred... Jealousy? When was the last time he had fun with his wife’s chest, he wondered, because, if Francis’s experience was anything to go by... since the stone age, most likely. “Can you please stop groping my son’s mother?”
“D-Daryl! What the hell?” Missus Dover shrieked, and screamed as she shoved Francis’s hands away at last. She covered up as best she could, waggling her finger at Johnny. “Is this enough now? Is it! Call Lilith! Call the campus police! Do something!”
“I don’t have a choice now,” Johnny grumbled, sighing. “You couldn’t have held back a bit, Junior?”
“Nope, and now that I’m in trouble...” Francis, chuckled, and fanned his fingers as he took a step towards the femtaur. She reared on her back legs, kicking at him- but that just worked as a nice little ladder. He grabbed on and clambered onto her back, yipping and hollering as she tried to buck him off.
“H-hey! WHAT! G-GET O-” She began, and even neighed, snorting and clacking away on her heels –WHY?
“Get along, little bitch! Yeehaw!” He cried out, and dug his heels into her side. It took him a few tries, but he managed to get her turned around to the door, to her husband, and slammed his heels into her sides, forcing her to gallop. Daryl moved aside as she slammed into the lockers across... then again as she tried so hard to fling him against. Instead, he just swiveled to her front, winking at her. “Woo man! You got some fire in you. Nobody ever really broke you in, did they?”
“Get off me, you son of a bitch!” She shrieked, and kicked at the lockers again before she bounded from it and across the way, running her front into it –only for Francis to swing to her back. He dug his heels in again, urging her down the hall, where the last few of the students scrambled to reach. They screamed louder than the fitful horse, but all were silenced with each slam into the lockers, the doors.
“Hoo, boy! It’s been a while since I had a woman with as much spirit,” Francis said, exclaiming as he slammed his heels again, and she fully galloped towards the end. “At the end of the day, though, it’s always the s- h-hey! You should probably slow d- I mean it. The railings right t- oh shi-”
The railing, like so many weeks before, snapped. Wood rained down upon onlookers, both those in the know and just learning as the centaur fell from the third floor, down, down towards the base level. Missus Dover’s legs flailed in the air, her arms trying to wrench back, scratch and pull at him, her eyes filled with red-hot tears, matching the anger and indignity in those big browns. It took her a moment to even realize there was no ground, and shrieked louder than any horse as she looked upon her stony demise.
What would have been her demise.
Francis swiveled down to her belly (of the horse) and kicked it, rocketing to the ground before her. He spun and caught all eight-hundred pounds (easy) of the centaur. His legs buckled, the wind was knocked out of him. The ground under him crunched then shattered, burying him up to his knees... but he managed to keep her from crashing to the floor. He eased her down onto those heels, adrenaline pumping too much to care, and heaved a weary sigh... Before he hopped on her back again.
“Now where were we?” He said, digging in his heels... again... and again. He groaned, and groped her chest again, raising and presenting those red eyes to anyone watching. “Come on... do something.”
“Y... you... you,” she repeated, her eyes lost. Her hair had a streak of white in it, matching how clammy her skin had become. Francis growled, and climbed off, giving her ass a hard smack... but there was no reaction. Just that constant repeat.
“Fine. Whatever. God, why do women always make the climax so fucking boring,” he grumbled, then stomped over to the detention hall. He hammered on the door until the professor- “Bridget! Hi.”
“Francis?” The redhead blurted, fighting back her smile. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m due in here in a few moments anyways. I sort of had a one-man rodeo; is it okay if I just make myself comfortable?”
“It’s a little unprecedented. I didn’t receive an update on Lilith on this-”
“Trust me. It’s coming... please?”
“Oh... I don’t see why not.”
“Wonderful. Thank you, darling.” He winked at her, which made her giggle and her face almost as red as her hair. She stepped back, allowing him in-
And was met with familiar faces. In more ways than one.
“Francis!” Mandy and the rest of her pack exclaimed... The other three in the room, though, weren’t as pleased to see him.
“Ladies!” Francis said, fanning his arms to them. “It’s great to see you again, but what are you here for this time?”
“They were caught smoking in the bathroom,” Bridget said.
“Eh? But isn’t it legal to smoke on-campus? Kind of hard to say no when there are djiins and efreets.”
“Yes, but they weren’t smoking cigarettes. Not tobacco ones, at least.”
“Weed still isn’t legal? The fuck!”
“I know, right? It’s why I didn’t want them to have more than detention.”
“She is here to supervise us,” Victoria explained, giggling. “Lilith wanted to suspend us for a week, but what’s the big deal?”
“Yeah,” one of the others said-
“Which one are you again?” Francis blurted. “The geeky one or the nerdy one?”
“Yes, then. Lupe. Hold on.” Francis walked over to them, which they got visibly excited. Their shirts seemed to practically spring up, to avoid tearing on their perking nips. They cooed as he loomed, panting like the dogs they truly were, tongue lapping up at him as he touched the other two’s faces. He struck his thumb against his palm, making it spark... then dug only the slightest bit into the side of their faces, on the left side just before the ear. He carved a P into Lupe, little more than a large mole if someone saw, then did the same to Luna, marking her with an N. The whole time they moaned and squirmed, and he could smell their desire rising with the sear of flesh. “There we go. Now I can tell you apart.”
Mandy growled, and pulled his hand to her face.
“Are you going to mark me, too?” She said, licking, sucking on his thumb. She let it go, and tittered as her other hand pawed at his crotch. “Or maybe you want to do it with that.”
“Will I be ‘marked’ the same?” Victoria said, nuzzling at his pants, whimpering. Even more as Mandy pushed her back.
“You know the pecking order. I’m the alpha bitch.”
“I know... but will I at least get-”
“You know you will.”
“Oh, I love you so much.”
“Bitch I know it.”
The girl’s tongues met while still lapping at his pants and slunk into each other’s lips, moaning as they forgot him and pawed at each other. The other two whined, and hugged against, nibbling at Mandy’s and Victoria’s ears, at their necks, rubbing against- until all four howled and growled at Bridget, dousing them in water. Her hair shimmered, fading one shade less than before, and sighed as she shook her head at Francis.
“You really are quite the charmer,” she said. A knock came to the door, and Lilith peeked in.
“Oh. He’s already here,” the succubus said. She pointed at Francis, and he could see the slightest tremble in that digit, breaking her usual cal facade. “In summary, you have detention today, come in for the test tomorrow, and are suspended for the rest of the week after-”
“Can’t you just say I’m expelled? It’s what she wanted.”
“Expelled?” The wolves exclaimed, then cried. “No... Don’t take him from us, Lilith.”
“They really shouldn’t get high,” Lilith grumbled... but shook her head. “Eve called and explained that you were provoked and, actually, saved her from death. She is on the case preparing a lawsuit against her for threatening and provoking a fight from a student, as well as endangering a rare species-”
“Can’t I just be expelled? Then everyone is happy-”
“Not us!” The wolf pack yelled- howling as they were doused in cold water again.
“If I may be blunt? For a moment?” Lilith said, and scowled. “I bloody hate that woman. Daryl is a wonderful man, but she is a right thorn in my side. I’d rather not give her an inch in this place, since she believes she has say only because of her husband... Meanwhile, he is just miffed at you for touching her chest.”
“But... thankful you found it in your heart to save her. He holds no ill will towards you.”
“I take it he knows what actually happened that day Ben was sent to detention, then... and that he wasn’t actually in trouble.”
“Both of them did. Ben AND I both told them.”
“Oh. Then I don’t feel the slightest ounce of remorse.”
“Neither do I... but, have to follow protocol. You sexually assaulted a person on-campus-”
“He did what!” The wolf pack shrieked, then gathered around him.
“How could you?” Mandy exclaimed.
“We thought better of you,” Victoria continued.
“You know we are more than happy-” Lupe started.
“To be your bitches,” and Luna finished, before all three were doused in ice water again.
“I haven’t seen them this thirsty since-” Lilith began... but stopped herself, shaking her head. “Nevermind... Francis, would you like me to bring you anything for lunch? Cassidy mentioned you were waiting for her and that plan fell through.”
“A pizza would be nice. Everything but the kitchen sink on it... and banana peppers. Bell and jalopeno are fine, but banana peppers never sat well with my stomach.”
“Very well. I leave him in your hands, Bridget.”
“Yes, Missus Brimst,” the redhead said, and the door clacked shut. Bridget tittered and creased her hands before her, beaming at Francis. “It’s never a dull day with you, is it?”
“Sadly,” he mumbled... but he had another goal in mind. He didn’t expect to end up in detention, but, now that he did, there was a trio that owed him an acceptance of his apology. He turned to them, his head resting on his right shoulder, and smiled as he licked his lips, watching as those furries shuddered. “Now... about you three.”
“Eh? You know them?” Mandy said.
“Oh right! They were the ones that skipped that day and their friend got their head crushed in,” Victoria exclaimed, laughing. “How is she?”
“Last I heard, she felt right at home in the potato patch,” Lupe said.
“Does she like the taste of windows?” Luna followed up on, all wincing as Francis roared.
“Enough,” he exclaimed... and pushed his way out of the wolf pack, the three’s only shield. They seemed to shrink under his gaze, scuttling their chairs back with every lumbering step he took, while he still smiled. Flames rolled his lips, the fins on his arms and back quivering with such... excitement. “Now, what did you three call me? A ‘monster’? Someone who doesn’t care for the sake of others? That tried to rat me out!”
“We’re sorry,” the most egregious of the rats squeaked. “We’re so sorry! Please!”
“Oh no. It’s not you whose sorry...”
“What are you going to do, Francis?” Bridget said, her tone wary.
“Oh. Nothing really. I just want them to accept my apology.”
“That’s all? Well, that is swell. What are you going to have them d-”
The room erupted into screams, soon overtaken by gagging and the rending, the tearing of flesh and the splash of blood, all dulled by his laughter. He was getting a pizza; he needed to work up an appetite.