Memento Mori

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The story of a neurotic adult male named Phineas Hines. Phineas has a mysterious illness and lives with his overprotective parents. Exhausted with his tedious life, Phineas is desperate to press the 'refresh' button. He soon meets an unusual woman through a social media group. Her username is Memento Mori, and she claims to be a 289-year-old vampire who is hunting a deranged historian that's desecrating corpses.  Phineas is suspicious of his new friend, but because of her bewitching personality and her similar lunacy, he travels to the Big Easy to revitalize his life. Memento Mori ends up changing it in ways he never could have ever imagined.

Horror / Other
Age Rating:


I was twelve the first time I kissed a girl. Mom had to go on set to film an advertisement for 'Put On Dem' Boogie Shoes', a 3 cassette audio collection of funky disco hits for the amazingly low price of $19.99. She dropped me off at Alessandra's house, her friend she grew up with in Vermillion. Alessandra had a daughter named Cauliflower. Yes, like the vegetable. Alessandra was a respected green chef at a restaurant with a plant-based menu, so she thought it was only appropriate that she named her daughter after produce.

We called her Flower, because being named after a creamy-white, brain-looking food was traumatizing for a twelve year old. Flower and I were close. We would set up easels and paint pictures in her backyard. We would knot friendship bracelets and go on bike rides together. We even made up a pretend language that only the two of us understood.

Everything always felt more exciting with Flower. I even started to like things I hated because she liked them. Slap braclets. Weird necklaces. Wite-Out manicures. It's crazy what a heart blinded by adolescent love can make you do.

I'm embarrassed to say, but we were "playing house" that day. Flower and I were pretending to be parents to two beautiful composition dolls. We were in the moment, celebrating our amazing make-believe parenting skills, and I suddenly went in for a kiss.

It was a disaster.

I did everything so wrong. I went in too fast. I used my untrained tongue. I was mostly just licking her lips and narrating the cringeworthy scene. The worst part was that I ate a peanut caramel candy bar before I visited.

Flower was severely allergic to nuts and it triggered a bad reaction. Alessandra made me walk home and immediately drove her daughter to the emergency room. I never saw Flower again. My mother never spoke to Alessandra again.

Mom belittled me and told me I shouldn't be kissing girls. She said I didn't have the emotional maturity yet. Dad just snickered and shook his head. I'm pretty sure he called me a moron under his breath.

"It's completely natural for girls to make you happy in your pants," mom blurted out. "It means that your penis is working properly."

I remember wanting to crawl under a chair or behind the toilet. Anywhere tight or confined to escape the embarrassment.

"There are two kinds of kissing. Family kissing and mature kissing. Family kissing is a kiss on the cheek and mature kissing is the impurity you forced onto Flower."

I know mom was always looking out for me, but she had an exceptional way to wreck my self-esteem.

I didn't kiss anyone for a long time after that.

I guess what I'm saying is, people - friends, partners can make your life feel better, but there's always going to be that one special someone. That someone you may bump into so unexpectedly, they instantly make you feel a spark in your soul. They take you and your heart by surprise and then change your life forever.

This is my story. This is our story.

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Further Recommendations

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Ashley: I loved it thank you for the great read...❤️💋

amalia3026: Well worth the read..good

saffiun: Love this story, could not stop reading

irjur: Really sweet story. Loved it!

agata: I love this story I can't stop reading I love this tape and this one is so surprising very good

hannarosdan1997: The best book that I have read so far. I love Abigail's and Nathan's relationship and their family members. Would totally recommend this book to all my friemds!

More Recommendations

By Terri: Really enjoyed this story! Definitely different. Keep up the good work!

maryam: I love the plot and story line of this book. I didn't like the time wasted when she died at first but it's cool

Belinda Rivera: Really loved this book series ❤️❤️🦋 will be the book 3

Kaylee: Honestly I was very much into the book it has so much potential and could be a great read but the author hasn't updated in a year so I think it safe to say it's not worth it unless you want to read and still think about this unfinished book later

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Soniasanders1975: I love this book so far

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