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Chapter 29

I can't use the hoover because bought it for a forty pound deal and when one buys cheap one has to do whole of the house with the minimum of fuss with the hands. Good old fashion broom and then rickety hands with the coming and goings and when that stops one has time to observe with the dealt things the blows which had happened.

Underwritten is the dullest day of all time. When the worst possible imagining had happened to me. I did not happen? No way when I reason that what had been the bad behaviour Kess and all that. Why is Kess important? Mother's daughter she was mother's darling daughter.

When I speed through the housework and delve into this book again it is a monster speaking through all the characters add to that my foreign language deals and doubts about the goodness of baring it all. Banned out of most meetings because do not care now for authors who made it and did it best.

Their books trophies awards and their awareness that they highly esteemed makes me cough. I take the cough mixture and try not to sneeze. I have squeezed into sizes too small.

They all now start when I appear as if a ghost walks through something like an open grave. The gravity of the situation is or was is that we dislike her. Not that one with the pretty manners but her walking in. Okay I can walk out again.

Time has made me more impertinent most older woman are. There is no more niceness and behaving well. When someone is speaking bumpkin then I get out of there. Can't take shat anymore? Well that is the raw deal one has to because being mean with his money having not much I am unable to decorate the home. I am losing

I have been dusting the edges as they say when I should be overhauling the whole thing. What has happened to the Englishman that behaved well and honourably and did the right things? Well he has left fled the scenes is making his own way through life is on the make. The whole thing is what does make a human being? Who do I think I am ? I am just a woman asking this thing because I am nothing but inquisitive that is why I am still alert alive even.

We are facing extinction as if we were the evil now walking the earth and we as the dinosaurs must make things right. Cubs are being eaten and there is that. We are now eating our own children nature disappointed has left us. Why we do such a lot of that? We deny the stuff we refuse to see we refuse to intervene let them others do so. Life is about pleasant stuff we do not care for the unpleasantness which is going on.

How many young men a year die and die because of drug related fights? Fighting over patches because someone like dad has made it profitable for them? It is not the likes of us it is them. People who do not matter. People without morality and they are sent to the streets by their parents and not doing proper things. Well mostly they have the get rich ideas.

I was pushing at ten they say.

"What were you pushing."

"Drugs. No it was not pushing a pram dolls pram."

"You see mum I should have had one too."

Mother says, "it is not too late have children of your own. Then you can push a pram forever."

"I do not want real children."

"That is not a child?"

"I was fourteen."

As time continues and drags to its conclusion when life left me by the river waiting and waiting for it all to begin. I cried a river and that made me sick. My liver dried out. My liver swept along by time nearly kills me.

"Cry me a river."

"I do not do alcohol drugs or anything so how did it happen?"

"Fatty food."

In the beginning there was plenty of time now there is hardly a moment to spare. I am filled with the responsible behaviour to make amends for not working on my writing before. I do nothing but do so because the thing is to do much work in order to become this person. I am being so good and useful. The world needs me so much I am making everybody so happy.

Most likely story of course I am behaving not like someone who is calling end of the world or anything.. I am just saying it might happen if we do nothing, Having made myself clear I am now into all sorts of plotlines.

"Time plenty of time." I sigh but there is no one who agrees with me. I am left barren alone in a small room. I do not have an armchair nor any sofa and that makes me want to howl.

I make it nothing of the sort we do what we do because it means something. So getting rich? Well it does bring its advantages. You get to be killed by daddy's orders or the others. Take your pick as dad takes his tooth pick to tell you what is what. He has finished eating his dinner and he asks to see what is to be done because he has the deals to do.

You see now there is something worse the families of these youths must pay to take them back. Some give more than their savings their time and time again this is happening to the world now. We refuse to make amends we refuse to be anything but pleasant and pleasing bantering tones.

Batter the automobiles and we do not combust let us enjoy.

Get rid of us? Who speak the truth because we make them uncomfortable. Our engines are the fools we do not know what to do because we are in the right life is meant to be enjoyed even when we do no work.

The thing was did not know what to do with the beast within and that did seem that mother was upset about something she had become quiet her daughter had cancer. Yes her darling had cancer and so she had began to be unwell. Why? Because her daughter Kess had cancer and the good mafia does not do carry and cot. He appeared to tell her as such.

When he carried her to bed? Well yes. That was the signal or something but that is not possible a husband does not kill his wife because she is a burden. You don't know my cousin.

As free speech is the keynote of this story and as I am unwilling to give it up. My dad says I spend too much money. He might be right. Having a few pence to spare I give it to the art world. The thing is dad says nobody wants the damn stuff.

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