To think that everyone now knows this is a story of madness if it was also some reality of mafia. But we shall see what it is. To think that these characters have done mad things have addictions have killed people that begs the question is this a story of beasts who are inside my head or things which really happened?
The reality of behaving badly of course is to have charming manners. I make that a proof because she dances so sexy Fire dancing sexy does not make her a woman of leisure or a victim of child abuse. She destroyed herself to get money so she would never be a failure.
The Fire in all their bellies as they dance and dance is that the costly failure of being involved them behaving like crooks in order not to be done as I had been. Fucked anyone anything that their family told them to. Well dad had her that makes sense does it not she a beautiful woman a woman he calls as if a woman which is damn good. A figure to die for. Eyes that burn inside you. But she is? No use she is a beauty I cannot do without her.
Where is the burden of proof?
"Is there someone to vouch for all this?" In the cold light of day my siblings would say they have happy marriages and all that. Except now and then there is this unhappy fall down the stairs and waiting for someone anyone to ring the ambulance. No one cares in the end no one at all.
Three children close their doors and say nothing no more. We all make that sort of mistake who threw her down the stairs. No one it was no one? The reaction is strange. Yes but then that is because there is all this psychology about. So no one acted strange no one said the bad words no one noticed she had a flu for twelve weeks no one notice she had grown weaker. No one noticed her fall and fall them stairs no one knew about it no one entered the thought that it was weird. When the ambulance was she who called no one said asked and no one said the wrong thing.
"We did the right thing she just had the flu."
"No one is to blame?"
"What about her husband?"
"Get away he was involved with work."
"Something got in the way of his seeing?"
"Well he was tired out."
"Well having looked closely at the situation I say of course he did. He acted like a proper man. "
"I might have know it there is no one saying much. He gave her how much?"
"Well he did."
"Can there be a reasonable doubt?"
"No it is never a burden of proof what I ask for your patience, All your patience. Let it be that I am mad."
"Let it be that there is something wrong with my statement and that I am a liar."
"So why is it that nobody says something I might have writ something less annoying to everyone, I have delved into my memories or membrane and now it has left me and what do you all say? You all smile in a superior manner and then talk about beasts. I am showing you a addict who runs the show of something truthful and real and all you do know it is not real and it is madness. It is ingratitude that is all.
So why is nothing being done? Silence.
"So you all agree that there are addiction and drugs involved in this world?"
"That when people are lazy and dislike work they will make cons and subterfuge in order not to do any work? And that certain woman have been around longer than they care to admit as they make the regress into all sorts because they dislike to be anything but anything like second best. They always are the best in style and everything? Because they are worth it.
So I am beside myself in my heat but soon cool down. They have a point who is to know think feel as if that dad who said he had been my dad did not exist. Well he said often enough you all the lot of someone else. Except of course Z. Who did the blood test and is happy now with her lot.
Where is the proof I do have some damage to my skin murder reports and I had been shot as well. That is not proof. Well it is also someone said once I am the woman in bandages.
So this kindly creature past sixty has these fantastic thoughts and they are now newly formed in her head? I had been under control there is now this idea as if memories have flooded back as if the past and the present have flooded into submerged reality. Maybe it is madness but look listen there they go again taking the stuff which is mine. They tried to take other things beside lands and stuff they tried to take him as well? My boy friend yes look they tried to take him they even tried to take the second man as well. They tried to take him and left me outside.
No sorry we do not believe that.
But they did not do it inside the house? Well three people have died in the house. Some others outside the house. There is nothing unusual in death? Well nothing so separated by long lean years? Of course.
Reality is like a cold water rushing on me as if my head is the reality of everything because in England everything is about the symptoms the disease the cure.
So I ran to get help because one of my sisters are being abused the receptionist gives me a look then they have a doctor people at home deny that makes me the culprit. You see that when one is raping a fourteen year old a man or a woman will say of course it was me.
"Hands up if you are all now clear?"
The thing was due to the busy life the doctor had she did not get down to reality until her own marriage floundered. When she thought to ask the question.
"Did it really happen ?"
"Well of course it did why do you ask?"
As we were under lockdown she did not see my face. So she could not work on her artistic expressions. Well the thing was she resigned soon after.
When life does matter but when the doctor has a day off leaving to go on her set and then settled into her sex life she does nothing when the victim screams. Unable to see anything wrong for that is what this is a woman screaming and no one doing anything about it all. Mad because nothing going on in that poor little house no room for secrets one needs a big house for secrets.
But homes are homes and mum would always say when the door is closed that door is closed and anything goes. Because in England a home is a English man's castle.
Imagine saying that to a vulnerable person? Imagine hearing this as a kid. Imagine if you were done the same thing?