When pushing myself to talk about my self isolation. I was forced to do menial work because daddy said that was all I was able to do because I rejected him. He has money means and all that he could have made me a student in some University instead he sent me down to the kitchens to work as that was my only worth.
"You must marry me." said dad. The obvious thought is a dad and a daughter cannot marry. But dad is persistent he never gives up and he has a mind which does not rocket science make. Imagine the man the man he said as if we did shat all the time. What a man he would become having kids by me.
Incest. My God tell that reader to go and get real. It is not legal is it? Why I was not saying it was. Incest as far as I am aware is the cursed amongst the herds because it leaves the off spring mad. I do not know even if it is true we must sort of see why it is wrong and not right.
My siblings thought it is the best thing in the world we know we love the other person because one of us and we can relate and get real. We also feel right at home because they watch the same type of telly. So we do not have to switch the channel? Well yes.
My sisters sat down and gave me a talk if I did not follow them they would not speak to me ever again. That is too long a talk so I just closed my mind and then daddy wanted to know what was going on in my mind as well. Having sorted me out I got involved with the psychology of them who do not understand because they are superior and everything is under their own control.
To put it simply sad is it not?
Trapped I am trapped.
Money means a lot even these days so having all that on his brain the man of the moment with his wife and world did not ask for anything else. Because he a snob a commoner me justified pride and then contentions and bones to pick.
Dad wanted to know what was going on in my mind so he set out his plan and just started to unroll the film as he said he would. His wife too is a psychologist or something somewhere I know he has someone who had read psychology in the 1960's they have been around for a long time. What else can they be? That dad is not the cafe owner he was the guard he used to be fed because he pretended he my dad.
Dad was the real owner because the other dad set it right for the lot of him. Tax evasion my dears buy a cafe and put someone else's name on it when they are fired come and take it from them. Dad is not afraid of violence.
So what had happened?
"Well search me there is this incest then it goes on to property deals and then it makes a point about madness. So much going on."
"Well the thing is what makes this nothing but a sorry attempt at a novel?"
"And not a pot boiler?"
"It just does not flow the characters jump from all over the place as if speaking from points of view most distracting."
"That is right."
"I am not hearing all this?"
"Well shut up. Hearing voices again she has to jump into the store."
"Well the thing is when life jumps at one that is what I give in return."
"I can't see it working."
"Nor do I shall I call it a day?"
"Let me help you get a even form and make it linear and make the grammar right."
"I wish it was not true."
"Well that is the point they are disjointed in order of their points of view. So many characters half fill and there is too many plot lines as if they do not submerge emerging as they are they do not make sense so matter in the same way. They ceased to matter to anybody."
"But should you not flesh them out?"
"The characters are all victims as if they have no free will at all."
"Do they care for anything but their own victuals."
"Some are fat some are thin,"
"Some are beautiful some medium but they are all useful a purpose built somethings."
"To rob people."
"To take what is other people's."
"And they look just like you and me."
"They take what is the victims with a smile and leave a flower as they murder and rob."
"I have been robbed twice this year that I know of."
"Well why did you not report it?"
"The thing is we are still investigating it."
"We dislike to bring the rubbish in there is all this talk about this and that. We do not care to bring attentions onto ourselves."
"We do nothing like that."
"We do nothing at all. My sisters are not speaking about it so I must not as well."
"I don't see it?"
"Well you see as I am going to be interned or kicked out of this house I am going down fighting."
"Yes unfortunately I am careful."
I fear that some funds which mother had has gone missing. But due to all the rubbish the paper work not being done and the sisters being in somehow in collision with the culprits. It is as if the pick pockets have come into the house. There is nothing much I can do as mother has left she has since died.
Well I do not know what else to think because she had a daughter called Kess who had cancer then she had a affair Kess did. A brilliant girl know all about her and she did have a husband. A man called my cousin whom I disliked was supposed to marry myself.
Then when Kess had the affair some money went missing. Not her own ours. I mean why did it go missing from our bank account? We did not get a explanation. Simple you see? Well the thing is not so simple because did not know she had a daughter called Kess. These inconvenient people having such a lot of secret children.
Plastic surgery is such a gift.
Old habits die hard.
"Get a psychologist."
"You see there is madness in all of us."
The confusion will diffuse and we will all know what happened. True scientific facts. It took me nearly thirty five years to know what had happened. Do you all know too?
"Yes you are mad."
"Well that is easy to know I am nothing but sorted now."
"Does the bank manager know too?"
They were bragging that someone called her brother gave her some money and she was so over joyed that she had such a brother. I was not listening as one does not being unaware that I was the kindly fool.
Mother only told me on her death bed I was not her daughter but her friend. I am sorry I always thought I was her own daughter. I am told these things until beastly too late.
She wrote them words in a notebook I can show you all if you care to see it but the writing is unique and it is in Turkish. Nursing staff did see it and if you want someone to vouch for the whole thing then they have seen it. She said as she signed it.
The thing was no comment because mother denied the whole thing.