Social distancing becomes the norm society dies and we cease to be fornications only. We go into our homes and write or think or try not to think. Anything to occupy our minds and thoughts away from death.
My mind naturally turned to the past.
The pandemic left me so alone I am a naturally social person I like to cook and clean and do the messy parts while they talk the family likes to talk. The thing was there was a limitations in what this Zeks understood she did not realise that her entire selfish company was masking her greed and ambition for her daughters and not for me.
She got them properly married and she went every year to see how they were. I was the one who wheeled her made her comfortable and got her the lemonade. Then sparks began to fly jealous sparks. Because I wanted out. I was trapped with this all through my life as if she had been practising and now she older reality for real?
Hemmed in as if I could never now be alone. Walled chained and not something good oozing but bad. The smell became bad. I did not want to know.
I as the lost cause was left alone to deal with it. Tom being the only thing in this world who had anything to give me. The sisters came and went on the phone like ghostly hags with their deals and their embroidery of lies. Chatters so thoughtless seeming pangs of assaults which would have left me suicidal but because I had Tom only seemed amusing.
I had no idea how society had linked and formed a net work for talk socialising and all that until we lost it all. This is the plague of our times and we know now something is wrong with the system there is someone out there even if it God who has created the plague. This made plague and that is why there is some small thing. We got a thing about things because the upset was we grew wild and intimate. Now we must behave or die. Let me touch you a few moments and then the other person might be infected.
"So do not touch."
How did mum die?
Well she was not our ma she was a woman who had been living next door when she moved in. I had been a teenager and sleeping most of the time when I woke up there she was spruce and unpleasant and doing the wheeling and dealing without much wheedling. She is not snobby of course her own child said she was upset to be burdened by a shop worker. How dare we go to her house as if equal and who invited us over anyway?
It was very nice and good not to be invited and we were never there again. Shop keepers and kept woman whose husbands have dancers and she has a friend a female friend. The mother did the husband. It worked out well. Most of life is basic lies. One has to not to be found out. I think she was Kess was found out? She got cancer did not she? Nearly died sent her mother Zeks into panic over drive madden her made her ill.
But she could not speak she could not say ask for advice or a word. Then she said it is done I have done it the fortune self and everything sold. Zeks said sold to the very idea of herself as this Florence Nightingale I never had any idea she had children.
The thoughts go acid we lived in times which are all about disguises and upsets and raw deals. We have the power to stop thinking one swift move the twist of the hand the slight of the eye. I do not know I did not understand and there I underestimated the power of proper actors not behaving like actors but actors in their own dramas with criminal minds.
I thought not.
She being a woman set out to rob us and then totally did. Twenty something smackers. The lands were done for and then she settled on the house and the shop when I spoke out and said the worst thing the calamity happened. She could not now eat she had to spend nothing. She had nothing to eat with she just said no money. I have no money in the house this is what they gave me.
Like someone who had nothing when she had over two thousand a month? I counted I recounted made the jokes and then what had happened? My sister got power of attorney.
We all breathed sighs and sighs of relief.
But who is everyone kidding it is only a matter of time when they think of something else to do to rid us of our means to live. So a shop keeper is naft we live in times when buying and selling working is not right? That to become a lady is everyone's dream how did she get there? On her back?
Zeks was a good woman a good con everyone thought so..
I am not giving a reference I am giving a picture of a society which says shop keepers are not only common but are trash. Honest work is worn out deal. Why bother because crime does pay. We get away with murder every day because we changed our passports identities. Hey pesto there we were six nights of the murder. We deal in many murders take your pick? So they deal in murders and cons to pay for their lovable tastes. In marriage in homes in even business. So in Cyprus with the Cypriot community having the raw deals then they became the rot which we are to condemn now. But the other societies have come into their own too with the idea for it is spreading like wildfire. The English thinking what a unique idea because of course they had been there watching.
"Well do you see?"
"If you are rich then be quick to hide."
"Take cover for you are about to be had?"
"By some nice looking person in a official capacity coming to get you."
"Your details your details they always want to know."
I am going to tell I say blow this show down.
"You won't." they know for a fact because I would be killed. So I had one story to speak and when that finished I would have to be put down.
So this story is going ahead forging without the good will of the story I will not survive. So drifting aimlessly along I soak in the thoughts and feelings of the narrative.
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