Nina’s Story 6 years ago
The Princess and the Cherry Pie
I must admit the first couple of weeks in our new home and town went relatively smoothly. While the local townies weren’t technically snubbing me per see, I was still being ignored. I suppose not much of a difference between the two except for the latter being less contemptuous. Meh, you take what you can get, I guess.
Surprisingly, we had our first welcoming visitor today; the mayor and his wife, Nathan, and Anabelle Adler, who, unbeknownst to us, resided a couple of houses down from us. Nathan, as he preferred to be addressed, was ironically a pleasant fellow. He was small in stature, around five foot eight, pale skin, thinning hair; he was, unfortunately, suffering from Nick Cage hair syndrome, he also had very soulful grey eyes. Looking at the man, you could tell he must have been quite the catch in his heyday, and his kind demeanor would have been the added bonus for any lucky woman. His wife, Anabelle, however, was another story. While her visibly medically preserved exterior may have maintained some of her earlier attractiveness that screamed, I was a former beauty queen, so I get whatever I want; her personality was ugliness incarnate. I tried; I mean, really, really, REALLY wanted to like her. I did. But she just made it so damn impossible not to want to toss her out of my home on her silicone-enhanced ass.
What could have created such a colossal dislike at the first meeting, you ask?
One word – Princess.
Anabelle’s sixty-pound Chow Chow.
Evidently, someone thought it was a good idea to bring that demon hidden beneath a rust-colored fluffy exterior along with them when they paid us a visit.
Remember when I said my little girl was a gentle dog who thinks everybody wants to play with her?
Well, Princess didn’t get the memo. In fact, the fierce growls Princess was sending my little girl’s way made it seem like rip to shreds was more her style. I had to literally scoop my poor dog up into my arms before Cujo was able to attack her. Of course, all Anabelle did was glare at me. According to her, Princess was not an aggressive dog unless she was provoked; clearly, my dog upset her little angel.
I guess breathing in your home must be fighting words in dog speak.
So ridiculous. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose from the headache threatening to split my cranium apart at any second.
This visit hadn’t even reached the half-hour mark, and I was already praying for Thanos to snap his fingers.
To make matters worse, the men had not been around to witness Anabelle’s bitchy nature; Dean was showing Nathan around the funeral home while they were discussing the logistics of getting this place up and running as soon as possible.
The deafening silence between the two of us was unsurmountable. I awkwardly stood there, shifting from foot to foot as Anabelle just stared at me expectantly.
I supposed I should try and break the ice with her, even though the ice in this scenario was big enough to sink the Titanic.
I cleared my throat. Awk-ward …
“Um, so Anabelle … what’s it like being the mayor’s wife?”
Smooth, real smooth, Nina …
I could tell she wanted to continue ignoring me in silence, but my question thwarted her little plan, so instead, she opted to try and bitchslap me with her retort. “I suppose being the wife of the Mayor makes things a little easier for me than most; if anything, I’m sure it’s at least livelier than being married to a mortician.”
Oh, how original, the whole dead/alive digs, as if I’ve never heard any of them before.
I rolled my eyes, not even trying to be inconspicuous with my actions; her blatant rudeness didn’t warrant it. That did not, however, mean I wasn’t going to respond. Silence just wasn’t my thing.
“Well, I suppose you’re right Anabelle, I’m sure things would be easier and livelier in your position, but I, for one, enjoy a much longer, harder and wilder, to the point of euphoric bliss, way of life.”
Oh, the look on her face was priceless, especially since both our husbands just happened to walk back in at that exact moment. To see her eyes look from her poor husband to my sexy giant was something I wish I could have caught on camera; realization hit her like a bolt of lightning that my Dean was like the poster child for flannel hotness. It was hilarious. That’s right, my dear, she thought she could out smug me but too bad she hadn’t actually seen my smexy husband when they arrived. Dean was actually out back welding the home’s sign; Nathan immediately went out to meet him directly not long after their initial arrival.
Being completely oblivious to the thick tension between Anabelle and myself, Dean pulled a Dean.
“Hey babes, hope I’m not interrupting anything. I bragged to Nate here about how delicious your cherry pie was, so wondering if there was still some left for us to snack on?”
I smiled as another oh so naughty thought ran through my head.
“Of course, hon, I was going to make another dessert tonight anyway. Please, it’d bring me great pleasure if you and Nathan gobbled up my cherry pie. Oh, and Nathan, I know that some cherry pies can be a bit sour, but I promise, I make my cherry pie very sweet and juicy. I really hope you like it. Darn it, where are my manners …Anabelle, would you like to try my cherry pie?”
The look on Anabelle’s face reminded me of someone who was severely constipated. It took all my energy not to laugh at her. “No. Thank. You. Nathan, Princess, needs to eat; I’m going to head back home now.” Without allowing any response from her poor oblivious husband, Anabelle quickly turned on her heels and left, making sure to close my old oak front door rather harshly, I might add.
Dean raised a curious eyebrow at me before shrugging his shoulders dismissively, then led Nathan into the kitchen to partake in some coffee and cherry pie.
“Enjoy the pie.” I tossed out before I gave my little Mitzy a wink. Yeah, she knew what her mama just did.
Nina – 1
Anabelle – 0
Alexis interrupted Nina’s tale. In a fit of laughter, she jokingly quipped, “Wow you’re really one for payback, aren’t you? Remind me to not to cross you.”
Unbeknownst to Alexis, a sinister glint crossed Nina’s expression before it was quickly replaced with a cheerful fit of laughter.
“Oh, Alex, my dear, you have no idea. Just wait, it only gets better from here.”