To Death: Book 1

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Digging A Grave To Lay In

A/N: So this chapter will be very dark and graphic. Disturbing to some readers maybe. But this book is hardly rainbows and butterflies. I said no holds barred right? Anyway, enjoy. Triggering content ahead such as violence and sexual assault.


I stayed awake despite the fatigue I felt until night blanketed this compound. I paced my room, trying to convince myself to at least try. I couldn’t stay here. I had people expecting me. I didn’t want them to think I didn’t make it out alive when I did I looked out of one of the two windows this room had. It was roughly midnight so people walking through the town had ceased. I needed to be prepared to kill if I had to as well. I reached into my pocket, producing the bobby pin I picked up earlier. Heaving a silent breath, I approached the door. I needed to get out. I chanted this over and over until I set to work trying to pick the lock, placing my ear to the door every so often to listen out.

I eventually found the locking mechanism, popping it and unlocking the door. I drew yet another breath as I slowly twisted the knob, stopping and crouching down to look underneath the door. The hall was dimly lit by candles, though I didn’t see anyone. I stood back up, opening the door, quietly slinking into the hallway. I spotted the stairs. I made my way over to them, being sure to step on the carpet that lined the middle of the walkway. My heart was racing as all of my senses came alive. If I made a single mistake it might be over for me. But I had to make it back. I began making my way down the stairs, crouching down as low as I could to avoid being seen by anyone who might be downstairs. I spotted a man, his back turned, defenses seemingly low. I couldn’t spot anything worth using as a weapon in here. So I’d have to silence him to the best of my abilities as quickly as possible. I reached the bottom of the stairs, slowly tracing my way over to him. I slid my feet across the ground, to avoid the creaking of wood.

My heart was beating so hard I’m not sure how he didn’t hear it. I got right up behind him, reaching around, capturing his mouth locking him in an arm lock. Though he was stronger than expected. We tussled but I managed to throw him onto a couch, kicking his machete aside and pinning him down underneath me. I attempted to choke him, keeping a hand clasped around his mouth all the while. But yet again he proved to be too strong. I took a note out of Jonas’ book, committing even further as I realized if he lived I might die. I bent down, sinking my teeth into his throat, clamping down as hard as I could while silencing him. I bit down harder and harder until I heard a pop and was greeted by the metallic taste of blood. I almost threw up, but kept my hold on him until his fighting stopped with a shudder. I sat up, seeing he was dead, eyes staring up lifelessly. I spat out his blood, wiping my mouth clean.

And with that I continued on, slinking out of the door of the inn, after studying my surroundings. I needed to get out of here before he turned into a lurker. It may have been rushed but I slipped across the porch, dipping down and slipping off under the railing of the porch. I looked to the side seeing the various cows sleeping as they stood. Going around would put me in the open. So I opted for slipping into their pin, moving through them slowly but surely. Eventually, I made it through, and slipped through the other side. Though something made my heart drop. A cow mooed loudly, causing me to run in a panic to hide under the darkness of the overhead walkway a little ways off. I was glad I was skittish as a spotlight was shone down on that very cow. Had I stayed I’d have been spotted. I crouched down, studying the gap in the wall. I gave it a few experimental nudges, being greeted by silence. I bent the metal even more, slipping my body through it making me grateful for being so slender for once.

I stayed glued to the wall, looking up and around, seeing a few infected idling in the distance. I broke off, ducking for cover in a swathe of dried-out shrubs. I looked back seeing guards turned the other way. I spun around again, seeing another swathe of shrubs to dart to. My heart was pounding so hard I was sure it would fail. I made a run for it, streaking across the sand. Though right before I could reach freedom my heart dropped as a pain unlike anything else I’d felt before overcame me, forcing a scream out that in turn caused even more pain. My body tensed and faltered, leaving me stuck in place being wracked by constant shocks. And then I saw it, the spotlight landed on me, illuminating my form. I tried to move further and further, but The shocks grew stronger and stronger until black docks clouded my vision. And those dots grew larger and larger until I could see nothing, everything going dark around me.

I awoke with a start yet again, not screaming this time as I was afraid of another shock. Looking at me was the man I had begun to hate. He sat across from me, eyeing me intently. I was strung up, my arms pinned above my head and legs parted by shackles. He got up, his lips looking as if they were in a battle of turning into a smile or a frown, though his eyes read constant anger, making me quiver.

“We provide a roof over yer damn head and you try to get away from it. Killin’ poor Bob?” He spat, that devilish smile taking hold as he strode right up to me, producing a knife. I shied away but he slashed quickly. I moved back at the same time, though he grazed me as I felt a stinging pain in my right eye. Very soon blood turned my vision odd as it poured down into my single eye. I wasn’t given time to recover as I was pulled into a knee, knocking the air from me as I let out a scream, only to be wracked by a shock, causing yet another scream and more pain that just seemed to ramp up dramatically.

I was caught by my hair as he pulled my face close to his, his eyes searing into me like a hot brand.

“We save yer damn life and you repay us with this bullshit?” He asked as he rammed a fist into my stomach, cocking his fist back again and sending it flying into my already battered abdomen.

I wanted to double over as I had the wind knocked from me. He wasn’t done with me as he rained either punches and kicks into my chest and stomach. All the while the slightest sound I made shocked me senseless. I wasn’t sure if I was bleeding internally a lot or if blood from my eye dripped into my mouth but I soon tasted it on my tongue. This beating went on for what felt like years before he was done with me, tossing my head aside as he wiped his bloodied knuckles on a towel he pulled from his pocket.

“I’m not quite done with you yet. You’ll bare our mark now boy. Since you want to dodge knives and all.” He smiled deviously, retreating further into the room.

He came back with a brand in hand, the red-hot metal causing me to shiver as I tried getting far away. He rammed a fist roughly into my stomach once more causing me to double over in my restraints. He then used his free hand to yank my head up by my hair, the faltering smile and frown battling for dominance on his face again. Though his eyes bore into my own as I wanted to do nothing more than to look away. But he was certain I didn’t have the luxury as he kept my head pinned in his grip.

“Where do ya want it kid?” He asked, a teasing smile flashing on lips.

It was a perfect smile, flashing straight and meticulously maintained teeth back at me. It’d normally be charming. But under the context it was terrifying. Suddenly my slipping mind was caught once again as that smile dropped into a look of murderous intent. He leaned into me, minty breath fanning across my face as I felt a building pressure on my chest as his fist dug into it. I couldn’t hold out long against the pain before a pained scream left my lungs.

“That’s what I like to hear. Cut the tough bullshit.” He growled, the smile back in moments.

I got distracted as I felt a searing pain in the side of my neck, instantly flinching away. But he caught me by the head, forcing me into the burning metal. A scream left me as my body was hit with another shock. Just as fast as it started the burning was gone, the scent of my burnt flesh filling my nose as I tried to catch my breath.

“Looks good on ya.” Ronald smiled, tapping me on the shoulder as he tossed the still hot brand aside, stepping back with a proud look on his face as he looked me over.

He whistled, hitting me with the devilish smile again as I struggled to breath.

“Everybody loved Bob. And they’re gonna be pissed. So what better way for them to get some justice and to have their way with you for the night?” He asked, another man stepping in, his appearance being unkempt, short and pudgy.

I was hoping he’d have been done but I dug my own grave it seemed. I was in so much pain I wanted to die. Everything hurt, I could hardly breath. I was sure I was going to die.

“Don’t hurt that face of his anymore than I did. Don’t wanna scare the children Todd. With a beat up face that is. I’ll tell the others.” Ronald told the other man, patting him on the shoulder with that devilish grin

The other man grinned at me. Though something about his perverse look had me shuddering. I’d been afraid before but I had the nagging desire to die in this very moment.

“Well aren’t ya purdy?” He drawled, stalking up to me and capturing my jaw in his rough hands.

I was fucked, I had no idea what he was going to do but I was helpless against him. My heart dropped when he pulled down his pants, pulling on a nearby lever and loosening my restraints. He spun me around, pinning me against the wall while he pulled on the lever again. My restraints were once more tightened as I was now in a more vulnerable position.

“Not sure if you’re a whore. So I’m wrappin’ up.” He snickered as I tried to brace myself for what was to come.

“N-” I attempted being greeted by a shock. I felt my arms hoisted up as I was pinned to the wall in such a vulnerable position. He crept up behind me, pulling down my pants. As I really just wanted death to take me right here and now. That onslaught of abuse wore on for felt like years. I didn’t know how much more of this I could take.

Why of all moments did my body not want to fail and I lived on in agony. I was as angry as I was in pain. I’d never felt anything this awful.

“Phew. So purdy. We should do this again boy.” He drawled, pulling up my pants as I felt blood trickling down my inner thighs. I was spun around again, strung up for the next person. He buckled up his pants as the next man stepped in, having me trembling already as I didn’t know what to expect.

Things were so bad I considered myself lucky that he only wanted to beat me. And per Ronald’s orders he avoided my face. Though he hit harder than Ronald; though he was also wearing brass knuckles. I was angry, terrified, and sad all at the same time as the revolving door of new people came in to beat me. With each cry of pain I was greeted by even more. I screamed until my voice was hoarse and my throat was sore. It was like I swallowed powdered glass. Though none of the people that entered seemed to care as they went about beating me. I was left for a moment, my body hanging limply in its restraints. I tried looking at the positive. I hadn’t been raped again this night. The clicking of heels caught my attention. I looked up to see something familiar. It was Caleveras. Her mouth twitched into a frown as she slowly shook her head of long black curls. She walked back over to the large metal door, closing it and latching it shut. She walked back over to me, causing me to shy away, only to be greeted by more pain that was only amplified by a shock produced by my wincing.

Her hand reached up, grasping her mask. She lifted the horned sugar skull off of her face. What I saw shocked me. Her right eye bore a nasty scar, leaving it closed. It was like mine. It caused an immeasurable amount of pain as blood streamed down one half of my face.

“I won’t hurt you like the others. But this night is as important for you as it is for me.” She whispered, grasping at a whip she had on her hip. She sauntered over to a metal table, setting down her mask before walking back over to me.

She got so close I could feel her body heat through the fog that was my senses.

“I need you to scream for me.” She proposed.

I didn’t want to feel any more pain. I nodded no, being greeted by my body screaming at me in pain.

“You have to. He is listening. And he will come back in here and beat you more.” She whispered quietly.

“I’m the last of the night.” She tacked on softly.

I for some reason didn’t want to get her in trouble. But I still wouldn’t scream. The pain was just too much. I felt as if I would die if I felt anymore pain.

“You leave me no choice.” She sighed, pressing a hand into my ribs and coaxing out a scream.

My cries were amplified by what followed until I shut myself up.

“When I crack the whip, scream. The pain of shocks is better than being beat.” She reasoned in a whisper.

Only then did I chose to comply. I just wanted this to all be over. I nodded yes, though she didn’t give me any warning as she cracked her whip. I screamed, being greeted by pain. With each crack of her whip I gave her a scream as her eyes looked troubled. Every once and again she’d mouth a sorry. I had to endure this for about half an hour. She made it convincing by yelling obscene insults at me between her false whips. When she was done I hung limply from my restraints, taking her as being the last as a truth as I let my eyes flit shut as something odd overcame me. I wasn’t sure if I blacked out or fell asleep. I vaguely remember the sound of her leaving and the door shutting. She’d told the truth as I was left in nothingness for what felt to be an eternity. It was more comfortable than being awake if I was asleep so I embraced it.

Though as if my body had become hyper-sensitive, I woke up just as I heard someone speak.

“They did some beautiful work didn’t they.” Ronald clapped, the smile I had confirmed I hated shining back at me.

My mind went to the darkest of places as I let my head hang. He would suffer one day. I’d be sure of it. My thoughts were stopped instantly as I felt a knee collide with my chest, causing me to wince and double over in my restraints.

“I was speaking to ya dumb ass!” He growled, gripping me by the jaw and forcing me to look him in the eye. My vision was off as I’d closed my right eye, the pain being too much to try opening it.

“Let’s get somethin’ straight.” He smiled, instantly replacing the grimace he wore on his face not even a second ago. His hand slipped up to my hair, pulling painfully on my scalp.

“If I were to spit in yer damn mouth you’re ’sposed to tell me thank you sir. I don’t give a damn about that collar shocking you. Speak when spoken to boy.” He growled, the smile gone in another moment.

“Is that understood?” He asked loudly, his gaze burning into me.

He looked as if he were expecting an answer. I just didn’t want to be beaten again. I wasn’t sure I could take much more abuse.

“Y-yes s-ir.” I grunted out through the blinding pain.

“Good boy.” He smiled, hoisting me up by the collar and releasing my holds with keys.

“Let’s go get ya patched up. You have work to do today.” He beamed, whistling a tune as he dragged my protesting body behind him and through the town.

Despite the pain I was in and what I’d just endured I had already started planning as he lead me along by the collar around my neck. I wanted to crush him. I would crush him. I’d tear him apart the darkest ways I knew how. He’d regret ever keeping me here. Everyone would regret keeping me here. I’d tear that smug smile right off his face the moment the time presented itself to me. I stewed and contemplated the entire time he lead me to the infirmary, each time I felt the pain caused by the abuse my body had been subjected to nailing the point home. I’d felt the darkest I’d ever felt. I was feeling bloodthirsty to the point I questioned if I could bury those urges until I needed them.

He opened the door to the infirmary, announcing his arrival with a whooping holler.

“Good mornin’ Gladys!” He called to an older woman behind the counter.

She locked eyes with me for a moment, rolling them when I expected sympathy.

“You boys should have just killed him. He’s a waste of resources.” The woman challenged boldly.

“I think he’ll shape up. Won’t ya?” He asked, turning me to look at him.

“Yes sir.” I grunted, the shock being milder this time.

“Anyways, patch him up and send him off to work will ya?” Ronald asked, not really leaving her a choice as he’d already let me go and began strolling off.

I was left barely able to stand, supporting myself on the glass counter. The woman seemed as if she’d had better things to do than treat me. Eventually, with a disgusted-sounding huff, she beckoned for me to follow her. She went about cleaning my eye with rubbing alcohol that burned terribly. She then wound it up in gauze, effectively shutting it off from the world. I had nothing to say to her. I was beyond caring what happened to these awful people. She commanded me to lift up my shirt as I wracked my brain for a form of attack. Something that would induce suffering even if I weren’t here. They could kill me at any moment it seemed. So I’d need to act quick. And then as I caught sight of a mercury thermometer, an idea came to mind, making me thankful for paying attention in all of my chemistry classes as one story came to mind.

Distracted by a certain pain, my ribs were bound in a tight wrap.

“You’ll live for now. Now get out of my face.” She growled, rolling her eyes, pushing me off of her metal table.

“T-thank y-ou.” I grunted out, even her days becoming numbered for treating me this way.

Being a good person was thrown in front of a metaphorical speeding train. I’d do whatever it took to bring as much pain and anguish I’d feel being in this place to everyone here. I limped my way to the garden, taking a quick glance at the space I used to escape. They must have not known how I got out. They didn’t ask. So I’d keep it unknown. I could need it later. There was a man overseeing others plowing the small plots of land. He handed me a pack of seeds and a small spade to dig with. Biding my time is all I had to do. I’d take on all they subjected me to and dish it back as harshly as possible. I set to work, at the plot he lead me to, digging holes and planting seeds.

I needed to be a model citizen of this place. I needed trust to get outside these walls for just a few moments. If I could get somewhere special by chance I’d be set. I’d keep trying and trying. I looked at the others, a bit of sympathy washing into my angry emotions. Though I wasn’t sure if I warned them about what I was going to do they’d remain silent. Deciding to leave them in the dark, it was the best I could do. I had to be selfish and use all I knew to warp the mind of the man seemingly in charge, Ronald. I’d gain his trust until I was allowed beyond the walls. Some of the others working on the garden cast wary looks at me as I stumbled and staggered around as my body didn’t allow for smooth movement yet. I knew I should have been resting but if I tried that I wasn’t sure I’d survive another beating. The faces of those I left to sacrifice came to mind, bringing a hopeful smile to my face. I hoped more than anything that I’d be able to see them again. I can’t let my fight or flight rule me. Fear had to be cast aside.

“Lunch time!” The man overseeing called, as I heaved a breath, my body in so much pain.

I saw an elderly woman struggling to get up as she too wore a collar around her neck. Summoning some kindness, I went to her aid, helping her up, despite my body being in pain. There was an elderly man beside her struggling to get up as well. I looked to the other able-bodied people nearby. They offered scared looks before they scurried off in a line. I crouched down, my body protesting. I helped him up as well, slowly but surely following behind the others. Though something was off. I heard it coming before I felt it. Rapid footsteps before something collided with me as the elderly couple stumbled ahead of me. I heard sick cheers as I spun around to confront my attacker of the moment.

It was a man donning a shock collar. I was tired of fighting now. I attempted to defend myself as he rained down punches. All the while onlookers watched and cheered my attacker on. It was sick. My pain was their entertainment? I caught one of his hands while his other fist collided with my injured eye. I unraveled his fingers, wrapping and clasping them around my very own collar. Before he could punch me, I screamed, being shocked alongside him. He screamed as well, his collar shocking him. Though he wasn’t done, with a low growl he attacked me again.

“Stop!” I shouted, being hit with another shock.

I wasn’t in fighting shape. All of my martial arts training required me to be in good condition. He rammed into me, catching me by the ribs as I winced to stop a cry. I let him take me down and back with him. I moved my leg, pointing my knee as he clumsily fell onto it and winding himself. But he recovered quickly, hand wrapping around my throat as I fought feebly to defend myself. Though my fighting ended instantly as a loud gunshot rang out over me, spraying me with blood. I looked up to see that I was saved by Ronald who wore a look of cold calculation on his face. He took aim yet again, firing another shot.

“She should have just got over it instead of getting one of our helpers involved in this.” Ronald sighed, his smile coming right back.

“Can’t have that happening to ya right, friend?” He smiled, extending a hand I wasn’t sure to take.

I instead was about to speak as my heart began thudding in my chest. He silenced me, taking my hand and yanking me up to stand beside him.

“You don’t gotta speak this time. I’m not a monster.” He grinned, flashing the devilish smile I knew him for as he slung an arm around my shoulder that had me tense.

He was insane; so much so I was actually scared to even be this close to him. He seemed to flip personas so fast and the contrast was so stark.

“So if anyone else has a problem with our newest member. Come see me will ya?” He frowned, going right back to that dark side.

“Why don’t ya come eat with me? Until these folks warm up to ya?” He asked, looking down at me.

I was so scared and shocked that I couldn’t find words to say.

“I’ll give you some passes. I have rules and you’ll learn ’em.” He cooed, that smile that made me so uneasy coming back.

He didn’t allow me to give an answer as he lead me along in the direction the other “workers” went off to. I did nothing but follow, not having the strength to fight back right now. He sat me down, pain greeting me as I let a wince slip from my lips. He sat across from me, eyeing me intently. Just hours ago he was hammering away at my body with all he had. Now he was sitting before me, staring at me as if I were the most interesting thing to exist.

“I like that look you have in your eyes. Well, eye as in singular since I fucked up yer other one.” He chuckled, whistling.

“I-” I attempted to speak, being reminded to shut up with a shock.

He reached across the table, as I flinched back. That fire in his eyes came in an instant, though it was if a bucket of water have been rained on it as he came at me with that same devilish grin. I forced myself to remain calm as he reached across again, turning the dial.

“I have a question and I need ya to speak full damn sentences you shit.” He chuckled, that smile not matching with his choice of words.

I nodded, though that seemed to be the wrong thing.

“Speak when spoken to!” He shouted, slamming his fists down on the table as that wild angry look came back to his eyes in another fleeting instant.

I was about to nod again until I caught myself.

“Okay.” I replied, my voice haggard and hoarse.

“You sound like shit.” He laughed, as if he wasn’t the one who did this to me.

I fought the urge to roll my eyes as he’d probably beat me for it. Instead, I focused on my body so I didn’t say anything stupid I kept squirming as it hurt like hell to sit down after what I’d been through.

“So what did everyone have prepared for ya? It looks like yer sittin’ in a full diaper.” He grinned.

“Umm...uhhh.” I said collecting my thoughts trying to say something before he snapped on me again.

“The man after you did...” I said, my voice trailing off as I gripped the bench I was sitting on as my heart sped up and my head felt like it was floating.

“What’d he do. Speak up will ya?” He asked, resting his chin in the palm of his hands, that smile not once faltering.

Was this a trick? Did he already know and would beat me for telling the truth? I didn’t know what to say. He seemed to be losing patience as he tapped a finger on the wooden table before us.

“H-He raped me.” I answered, opting to tell the truth.

He looked shocked for a moment, eyes widening.

“Is that so?” He asked, seeming shocked in a dramatic fashion.

“Y-yes.” I stuttered.

“Hey Todd! Brother. C’mere.” Ronald called, flashing me with that devilish smile for but a second.

The pudgy man from last night came waddling over, shooting me a look for but a second before turning to Ronald.

“Did you violate this young man last night?” Ronald asked, seemingly curious.

“No man. What’re ya talkin’ ’bout?” Todd replied, looking uneasy deep down. I’d picked it out as he’d been caught in a lie.

Ronald then did the unthinkable, drawing his gun and shooting Todd right in the head between his eyes. His body dropped like a sack of bricks as Ronald turned to me with that same charming smile. It was so fast. I didn’t know what to think of what just transpired. He shot that man dead. Without a second thought.

“I don’t like liars. Or rapists.” He sang, others looking at the sight in as much shock as I was in.

“And besides. I want you to be my friend. Will ya have me?” He went on, extending a hand out to me, calling me back to the present.

“But...” I began, being cut off.

“I knew what he did ’cause I heard it. I wanted to hear it from ya.” He smiled, for once not hitting me for not giving him a response he wanted.

He truly was a monster. He either didn’t trust me and wanted to keep me close. Or his perception of reality was so out of whack that he’d be willing to trust someone he’s abused. Nonetheless, it seemed he was playing into my hands. And I’d work on that thing called trust.

“W-we can be friends.” I croaked, taking his hand as he shook mine.

A single day here and he’d thrown himself onto my claws or so I thought. All I had to do was drag him into the depths and drown him. His fate was sealed with a handshake.

A/N: Something wicked this way comes. Next chapter will be the last. And there will also be some bonus snippets from the next book in the chapter after the last. Issac won’t come away clean. If you’ve pieced together everything I’ve left so far you’ll know what I mean. To Death, from death, to life.

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