If I loved you

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A girl named Avis lives jealous of her older sister Arnie who happens to be better than her at everything. So she fulfills her dream of not only loneliness but...

Horror / Action
Age Rating:

If I loved you.

“I’ve got you!” She cried as she tagged her sisters shoulder.” That’s not fair my shoelace were untied”.
“You’re just salty”! “Girls lunch is ready”! Their mother yelled from the small house not so far away.
“Let’s go” her sister, Arnie said, almost out of breath. They leaped through the flowers smiling in the sun. The smell of fresh bread polluted the air, attracting all the birds from their nests.“I’ll get their first, Arnie whispered. “You won’t the girl, Avis cried. They dashed pass the lavenders,peonies, tulips and daisies to get home first. Arnie ran to the door smacking the hot copper, lock “I won!” “The sun was blinding my eyes”. Avis mumbled moodily.

8 years later Avis is 17 and Arnie is 21. “Mum, mum”! Arnie cried she ran toppled down the stairs nearly crashing into mums China display. “I’ve got into the University I wanted”! Their mum hugged Arnie tightly securing her arms around her sage ,green crotchet jumper. “Well done!” Her mother cried she spent ages rocking back and forth with Arnie tightly wrapped in her arms. “My little girl has grown up so fast!” “All the great stuff I’ve done combined would never make mum this happy, purely because loves Arnie even more than me even when I point it out they deny it making me feel stupid” Avis thought to herself. “Guess what Avis, guess what!” She yelled as if Avis didn’t hear her yapping and screaming about it for 20 minutes straight. Peachy, their fat orange cat, rubbed her head by Avis’
Leg. She turned around scooping more food in her food bowl. Peachy meowed away desperately shoving her head through to eat as if she hadn’t just eaten 5 minutes ago. Mum finally let go of Arnie after what felt like centuries and reached for the tissue box . “Without you the house will feel so empty my little girl” she cried as if Avis wasn’t behind her feeding Peachy. “ I better get packing mum” Arnie said. “Let me know if you want to take some granola biscuits with you” Mum smiled as a tear ran down her sunburnt cheeks. “The day I get into university mum probably wont even care” Avis thought”. Mum dashed past her barley acknowledging Avis’ existence. “She dug into the cupboards grabbing 4 packs of granola biscuits. “Take these to your sister” she handed them to Avis. Avis sludges upstairs to her sisters room, accidentally dropping one of the packs halfway down stairs. When she finally got to her room she stood over the suitcase letting the biscuits topple down like a waterfall. “I’ll miss you” Arnie whispered. Avis felt like she was lying to make her feel less jealous. “Me too, I’ll miss you” she lied.

“Mwah” mum gave Arnie a wet kiss right on her bumpy red cheek.” I love you so much my baby” mum yelled as Arnie dragged the suitcase down the stepping stones. Arnie wandered off into the void of flowers and was absorbed by the blissful sunrise. Mum cried as she watched her leave. She squeezed Peachy while sobbing. Half of peachy was drenched in mums salty tears and Peachy looked like a Fat tangerine which was quite ironic considering her name is Peachy. After a while mum was asleep by the window where she watched Arnie leave. Avis slipped out the door to the chicken coop. All she ever wished for was for mum to say I love you and mean it more than when she says it to Arnie. She sprinkled chicken feed out to Dovie ,Flossie, Nettie and Lowell the chickens. They ran to the food almost as desperately as Peachy when he gets food. Her sprinkling the chicken feed felt like she was sprinkling her tears ,the tears that soaked her pillowcase as night and the tears that fall down as she occasionally thinks of dad.

Avis woke up with the sun blinding her eyes, and the chickens squeaking she had fallen asleep on the grass by the chicken coop. She went back inside and mum was there cooking soup with Peachy by her side . She glanced at them realising Peachy had already replaced Arnie and she has no chance of mum loving her. She silently dashed upstairs holding back her tears. She knew deep down mum loved her so why did she feel so neglected. Avis smacked herself and fell into tears. She lay her head on her soaked pillow and closed her stinging eyes.

She was flying soaring through the clouds, the wind was hitting her face and the birds flew along her side. No mum no Arnie no Peachy just her feeling free. That was of course until mum called, “Avis dinner is ready”! She leaped out of hear bed smothering her face in tissues trying to hide her red face and puffy eyes. She lethargically dragged her feet downstairs to the dinky, frail, dining table that shook every time someone accidentally knocked against it. Mum placed a dish of broccoli and soup at the table. “What’s wrong sweet pea you look tired and your eyes are all puffy”. “Hay fever”. Avis replied.
“You need to remember to take your medicine other wise you’ll end up all”- “Would you miss me if I left” Avis interrupted. Mum was still like the lake by the chicken coop. “ Of course I would, what sort of question is that”. There was awkward silence for most of dinner but Peachy came by begging for some of the chicken in mums soup. “ Mreow Meooww” Peachy cried as she watched mum dangle soupy chicken above her head. It smacked the floor and Peachy pounced on it devouring it like a she’d eaten a mouse.
They got up from the table and and mum took all the dishes balancing in one hand like a circus clown. “Mum let me help you” Avis said trying to carefully get one of the dishes. “It’s okay sweetie I can do this”. Avis swung open the oak door peering over at mum checking she hadn’t hurt herself or broken a dish. She gently closed the door letting it click in the copper lock. She wandered out to the hill where she sat on the grass that looked like all the colour was absorbed by the sunlight. She sat there picking petals off of the tulips and daisy. She blew dandelion seeds down the hill and they hid in the colourless grass. “ I wish I could hide away from people and live and everyone just like a dandelion seed” Avis whispered under her breath. She stretched out her long legs with a couple of bruises on the from falling of the chicken coop ladder. She had brown leather shoes that were half torn at the ends most because Peachy would attack her feet if she didn’t feed her in time. She let out a long exasperated breath and shut her eyes. She tried to recall the dream of her flying freely in the clouds. She open her eyes and it was night, she must have gotten caught in her thought. She quietly tiptoed back inside trying not to disturb mum Peachy or the chickens. She walked back upstairs through the long narrow stairs case to the creaky landing and pushed open her bedroom door she glanced through the door has of Arnie’s room it was so hollow and empty all their child hood memories were storied in that room and all that was left was and empty bed frame a dresser and two pictures of Arnie, Peachy Avis and mum. She went back to her room and threw herself on her bed. And fell asleep quickly.

4 years later Avis lives in the city and gets into university.Through her blinds the sun shone again. “Another miserable day” she thought to herself. She stumbled over to the kitchen cabinet and grabbing her pills and chugging throwing them down her throat. She put a coffee pod in and used her favourite blue mug. She sat down biting her nails. Suddenly the thought of her, mum Peachy and Arnie came to mind. She sat sit and held back tears with a throbbing throat. She took her coffee sipping the hot liquid carefully. She realised that she had missed Peachy’s fat tails rubbing against her and mums pancakes fulfilling the air every morning. One thing she didn’t miss was Arnie. She hated Arnie for some reason but she felt so guilty about it. Was it that she was better than her? Was she really jealous of her sister? She knew her sister loved her but Avis didn’t love her back. There was nothing that particularly that made her hate her. “ Hey babe” her girlfriend walked into the kitchen. “Hey Ymir” “What’s wrong, you look disturbed” Ymir said. “Nothing” Avis lied. “Alright I’ll make breakfast” Ymir said. “Okay” Avis replied. “Hold on Avis would you mind cleaning up the wardrobe in our room , it’s a mess”. “Sure” Avis took the last gulp of her hot coffee and got up.

She started pulling out closing that piled up in the wardrobe and their was only about three shirts hung up properly. She started to open the draws in the wardrobe and saw paper and childhood drawings. She saw a diary she had when she was eleven back at mum. She open it up and ran her bony bitten fingers down the crinkly brown papers. In scruffy black writing were dates and secrets. She began to read the scruffy writing that filled up the none existent lines of the diary. “Dear diary, mum is so proud of Arnie because she re- painted the whole chicken shed for her, I’m so annoyed because I cleaned the house and fed the chickens and all I got was a thank” and the next page “ Dear diary, Arnie fell In love with the boy down near the lake, she knew I liked him, he loves her back though so what am I to do, I’m so foolish and angry”. And again “Dear diary, Arnie visited our house after leaving for university, she cleaned out her whole room and took down all the pictures she even threw away the birthday card I made her for her twelfth birthday that I was very proud of”. Endless pages of frustration continued... The more she read, the more the burning hatred inside her grew. She turned redder and redder and cried. “ I hate her, I hate her, I HATE HER!” Ymir came running into the room and said “ Avis what’s wrong” worriedly. “ I don’t think I can do this” “ What do you mean?” Ymir said. “ I can’t keep letting my sister get away with everything”. “Hey babe it’s gonna be alright, your next therapy session is tomorrow hey it’s alright” she pulled Avis letting her cry into her arms. She sobbed on for ages the passion of both anger and sadness burned inside her bubbling for revenge.

The cold wind blew through the open window making he curtains flow majestically. Ymir was next to her fast asleep. Avis climbed out of bed and got dressed. She looked at the alarm clock as it read “4 am”.
She grabbed her bag and started packing things of all sorts. She wrote a delicate note stating “ Ymir, i have gone out but I will be back soon, don’t be worried, I will feel free when I come back. She placed it on the bedside table and walked outside of their bedroom. She shut the door and inhaled deeply. She unlocked the apartment door and shut it. She walked over to the elevator and shakily pressed the button. She huge metal elevators doors opened and she walked in. She felt herself drift down and she felt sick, she felt angry, she felt revenge. The doors opened and walked out to the car park unlocking the car and climbing into it. She started driving and went out on the road. Each traffic light blinded her dand she cried the whole drive. Suddenly the dream of her flying in the clouds came back. Where it was only her a world with only herself. All she ever wanted was to be alone yet she was afraid of loneliness. Suddenly Avis flew forward and her head hid the steering wheel. She heard a CRASH! It was all silence and as she open her eyes the car was on its side, glass was all over the floor and she saw her nose and arm bleeding. Her legs ached and throbbed with an unbearable pain. In front, she happened to catch the glance of another car broken and on its side. Could the people in it be dead, was she a murderer. She panicked and forced herself up even though she felt like she was breaking down. She heard sirens and picked up the pace. Limping and wiping her nose she walked. She had managed to get far enough from the crime scene. Floods of police and ambulance medics rushed out checking the cars. Avis perceived forward as she was determined. She was still longing for the dream of her in the clouds, all alone. But that wasn’t the only thing she wanted.

The wind tried to blow her back to the guilty crime scene where she belonged but Avis only moved forward. The wind smelt like ashes and hopeless wishes but Avis wouldn’t give up. Even after a possible murder and guilt she continued to walk forward. She saw cars pass by and stop in traffics. She sped up running full speed to a black car. She swung open the door and a man on the steering while panicked. She secured her hands around his throat and put him against the back of the car seat. Muffled words like “Ple- plea-don’t -do”. She had robbed him of his air and he fell limp falling on the the other seat.She pushed her hand on the wheel contaminating it with blood. And she began driving not even thinking of the dream, but bloodthirsty like a monster, for revenge.

After hours of her driving and crying the sun started to rise. But it didn’t matter as she was already there.She got out of the stolen car and slammed the door shut, she proceeded to walk forward onto the property of “11 holly street” she walked forward and tries to pull open her door. It was locked so she pulled out the bat from her bag.... And rung the door bell. Footsteps approached her and the door slowly creaked open. There she was, Arnie, her rival enemy. Before Arnie could say anything she got the bat and swung it at her hitting her. “Avis” Arnie yelled. Avis swung the bat again knocking her to the ground. Avis shut the door and swung the bat again. Arnies mouth began to bleed and she begged “lm sorry”. Avis looked above her bed and there was a picture of Arnie mum and Peachy. Avis was was filled with anger and revenge and she was bloodthirsty. She swung the bat again harder this time and it hit her face. The floor was full of blood and tears but Avis was full of anger. Arnie lay lifeless on the floor sobbing. Avis threw the bat and reached into her bag. She pulled out a shiny blade.

The sun rise started to shine through the window and Avis walked closer gripping onto the knife. “Avis I love you” Arnie sobbed and choked up blood. “Please” Arnie begged. “No”. Avis pulled the knife high above Arnie’s chest and she pulled it down. She plunged the silver blade into Arnie’s heart. Arnie’ let out a blood curdling scream. Avis pulled out he knife and Arnie lay limp on the floor surrounded in a pool of blood. She cried as she killed her sister “I’ve got you”.
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