That Cold Feeling
My name is Jack and I’m what you would call a loner. It has been the only type of life I have known. My parents have always been cold and expresionless, great role models for a boy who never really talked to anyone or even made any friends. It didn’t really bother me, until I met chelsea. She’s my first ever friend and eventually my first love. We met in a chatroom, I joined on a whim. After about 30 minutes, she had me in a private chat. It took some arm twisting, but she finally managed to get me to speak more than one sentence. She worked on me for months, managing to get my phone number. Every night she would text me before I went to bed. Initially it sort of annoyed me, but it soon became just something that I was used to. If I ever texted her during the day, she went crazy and wouldn’t leave me alone for the rest of the day.
After about 8 months of her clinginess, she didn’t talk to me for 2 days. The first day wasn’t so bad. But the 2nd night, I could fall asleep. I found myself looking at my phone, questioning what the hell I was doing. My sanity couldn’t take it anymore and decided to text her. I replied, “are you sick?” Within seconds she replied, “No, just been busy. missed me?” I looked at that message for a few moments. It hit me like a chill running up my spine, I missed Chelsea’s attempts at conversation. Something in me broke, I guess, because I realized I had texted her, “yes” while I had my inner struggle. “Really?! thats a first. maybe I finally melted that shell of yours………how do you feel right now, Jack?”
How do I feel? I didn’t really know. People claim I’m an emotionless robot, but the truth is I didn’t really care about anything. The past day ran through my mind. I spent all that day, looking at my phone, wondering what kind of story she was going to tell me. Now faced with this question, my mind races in different directions. What have I been thinking lately? What is lying under my beliefs of thinking rationally? Because without a doubt I know my behavior was odd that day. I couldn’t keep my mind off waiting for Chelsea to message me.
Ten minutes has passed, and I felt time has run out to ponder this question. I looked down at the phone in my hand, my hand was sweaty. Sweaty? Was I nervous? I don’t remember a time where I was nervous. With haste, I finally sent an answer, “I don’t know.”
We spent the rest of the night texting, Only this time, I was more engaged in the conversation. Every night since then was like that. I talked more and more with her. December came around, and I realized that I had not bought her a gift. Its the first time, I have ever had someone to buy a gift for. I asked her what she wanted. SHe told me she wanted me to come visit her for the holidays. It didn’t take much for me to agree, and so I hopped on a plane back to my hometown.
The first thing I thought of doing when I arrrived, was seeing chelsea. I went straight to her house, and when I saw her, I was speechless. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t think of a single thing to say to her. All I could do was stare and admire the geniune article that was her. She grabbed my hand and guided me down the street. She wanted to take a walk to the park and hangout. As soon as she touched me, something felt different.
The only way I could describe it was warm……so warm…….A pleasant warmth that I’ve never felt my entire life. Everything leading up to this moment felt bleak and painful without this feeling. I got caught up in that warmth that I didn’t even pay attention to the fact that we were walking this whole time, and we already arrived at the park. We sat on a bench watched kids play on the playground. I just sat there as she talked, trying to get as close to her as possible. When we walked home and said good bye, she let go of my hand. As she left me on the sidewalk, so did that warmth. A part of felt like I was cold. A part of me that I didn’t know existed.
When I went to my hotel room, I felt like I was freezing at this point. I jacked my heating up to 80, stood in front of it, and waited for the warm air. After a few minutes, the air from the heater finally was heated, but it didn’t really warm me up. I could feel it’s warmth but I still felt freezing cold. I spent the rest of the night shivering with blankets on, hugging the heater. It soon became apparant that the only way I could feel warm was to touch Chelsea again.
I grabbed the phone, and called her. She didn’t pick up. I called her again, and someone answered the phone. But it wasn’t Chelsea. It was a man’s voice. “Hello” he said in a slightly annoyed voice. “Is Chelsea there?” I asked. “She’s out with her boyfriend.” he replied. “Oh, ok” and I hung up the phone. The temperature seemed to drop even more now. Before I even put my phone down, I passed out.
The next day, Christmas Eve, I went back to her place for a christmas party she was hosting for all her friends. I arrived late, she greeted me at the door with a smile. “Jack! Finally, was worried you weren’t gonna come.” I smiled, as I came inside. My breath still visible as I spoke, “W- wouldn’t miss it for the world.” She went and mingled a bit with the other people at the party. I just watched from the other side of the room. It was much warmer in this room then it was all of last night. I was still cold though…..very cold….I was right though, Chelsea had something to do with this. I had to have her close to me. Now, and always.
She was with some friends from school, when some guy came in. Everyone was so delighted to see him. Her even more so. She ran up to him and hugged him. As she hugged him, a fierce chill ran up my spine. I let out a big sigh, letting out a huge cloud of visible breath. The cold was returning. It had to stop. I have to warm up. Finally she walked up to me, “Jack, come here. I want you to meet my friends.” She grabbed me by the arm, the warmth returned, as she guided towards her friends. I smiled, and mingled for a bit.
That guy stood next to Chelsea the whole time. I was angry at this point. For the first time in my life, I was angry. HE was her boyfriend. He was keeping the warmth from me. To my surprise, he lifted mistletoe above Chelsea’s head. He points up with a chuckle. She looks up, and he sneaks in a quick kiss. I fell back, it felt like I was just hit by a blizzard. “Jack are you alright” Chelsea exlaimed. He helped me up on my feet, “Y- yeah I’m fine.” “You look dehydrated, I’ll go get you some water.” He headed to the kitchen. I followed him. He was alone, it was my chance.
He turned to me with a glass of water in his hand. I grabbed him by the throat with both my hands. I will not have this man deny me of warmth. I needed it to live. It wasn’t long after I touched him, he began to turn blue. His eyes closed and I let go. Another guest came into the kitchen and screamed. Chelsea came in, as everyone else ran out the door. She saw that guy, totally blue and frozen like an ice statue. “Jack, why?” I looked at her, and I didn’t respond. “JACK!!!” she screamed. I walked up to her. She had a scared look in her eyes. I grabbed her arm, preventing her from running away. I never wanted her to leave me again. “Jack let go of me!” she said. “You know what I want for Christmas, Chelsea? I want you to stay with me, forever.” I pulled her into a kiss, her lips felt amazing. Like laying in front of a fireplace. Her lips turned blue and she went unconcious. I carried her out of the house and left. We’ve been together ever since. She always sleeps though, but her kisses are always so warm. I think she’s just lonely. I’ve been grabbing some of her friends, hoping they can help me wake her up. But she just sleeps. Maybe its because she’s been feeling a bit cold lately.