I was frozen like the temperature was the absolute zero, but still couldn't help but notice the irony. If she knew me better than myself why couldn't she have prevented her death? Does death increase one's IQ? There were a variety of ways prevention was possible. For starters, she should have known I had been planning this for months and could have confronted me. Some more effective measures could be checking her behaviour and not making me the laughing stock of the school, keeping her promise, bla bla bla. But it was too late anyways. And wait a second, why was I even frozen? Just because movies teach you to be scared in front of a ghost doesn't mean you have to follow them.
The spark grew into a flame which multiplied and the fire spread, reaching my eyes which narrowed at her. She treats me like shit and then asks why I didn't keep my promise? I can give a fine speech too. Wait and listen, old scores need to be settled and you need to stop saying the same thing again and again. Who did she think she was? She didn't even learn her lines properly before showing up. A five year old kid could rant and rave better than her.
I raised my voice a little, "Is your speech over? Or you want to get to the part of the How did I do it? We both know that, don't we? Why repeat this shit, we are not in the climax of a melodramatic movie. Let's cut the nonsense. I know you have questions too." Woah! That shut her up.
"I don't know why, but I don't really feel regret, self loathe or whatever. Yes I killed you, as you have already said a dozen times. I didn't want mom-dad's love for only myself. I liked sharing it with you. I am not selfish. I just get sad, really really sad. But I hate being sad, everyone does. So I suppress those hopeless negative emotions and focus on the bad parts, not the sad parts, which fuels my anger. "
I paused, wondering if she would say something. When she didn't, I continued.
"I was saying I focus on the bad parts of people's behaviour and words towards me. So much that a number of times I began hating them instead of loving. The biggest example was you. I didn't mind you were perfect, getting good marks in all subjects, being good in sports, having a ton of friends. I wasn't jealous of you, I was jealous of them." I didn't know myself whether everything I was saying was hundred percent true, but she didn't need to know that.
"Mom, Dad, those kids, they all got so much time with you, friendly nice words, whereas I was treated as mere baggage. It annoyed me. I know this sounds weird, but uh.. that's how my mind works. You remember the time when I didn't go to school for two weeks, pretending to be sick. I thought maybe you'd ask me how I was, try to cheer me up, try to be BEST FRIENDS? But you only did formality by saying get well soon, you didn't actually care about me. Prisha darling, people don't become friends just by saying it and not killing them, you need to make some effort and show your appreciation for them. And then I realised, it's not them. It's you. It's always been you. You made fun of me, you stole mom and dad, you made me feel lonely. You were the cause of my sadness and anger. And then I started hating you. I spent months coming up with the perfect plan. Many times I was scared, I would get caught, by you or someone else.
People say The Dead come back to take their revenge on their killers. So I made sure even you didn't know who did it. All that fuss was USELESS. You're still here! Why are you here? You want to take your revenge, or you want to make me feel guilty. Or simply to scare me by reminding of my "crime"? You can't just blame me like that. It was your fault. You didn't keep your promise, you couldn't stand up for me. Maybe for you they were childish vows but I believed in them. I believed in you and you proved me wrong. So I did it for you. I relieved you of the burden because I loved you." Damn. What a speech!
"Buh tie thaw yu seh yu hate me?"
But I thought you said you hate me?
"Oh sorry. I don't love you. My acting skills you know, they are just wow. Sometimes I get so lost in the character and forget what what I really have to say or even think."
I couldn't think of more words to spew. But that had made me feel much better, and...fearless, somehow. And not to mention that tiny mistake was enough to question my whole speech. But she was dumb enough not to notice it. And then people call me tubelight!
She was silent for a while, and then she spoke, somewhat softly, "Yuh extimly lon speech med mifi weed. Amno shoin agudway orabad way. Yuah righ, I ,cay forwenge. Ithaw tie wu mekyu gonsane an then kilu. Yud xperence beegn the puhfec horramovi.You wante dat, dintu?" she ghost giggled.
Your, uh, extremely long speech made me feel weird. I am not sure in a good way or a, bad way. You are right, I, came for revenge. I thought I would scare you bit by bit, make you go insane and then kill you. You would experience being in the perfect horror movie. You wanted that, didn't you?
Some words would seriously sound like Russian to another person, but I knew exactly what she was saying.
"Well, yes and no. I had been waiting for this meeting since last Monday, your DOD. I wanted to know how underworld's like. Maybe after death you would finally realise that you had one more friend. Make some stupid efforts. But mostly I wanted to see a glimpse, a small sign that afterlife exists. You know how ghosts always fascinated me, us, but then you started watching those boring rom-coms with your besties. Ugh! I am so stupid! I killed my sister and then I want to see her ghost."
We both laughed.
"Dowurry, it mex puhfexens. Cuman gimmea hug!"
Don't worry, it makes perfect sense. Come and give me a hug!
Her sudden demand surprised me. "How can I hug you? You're... Vapoury."
"I can chuz oocan puhsivmi. Lie see, hayo feel."
I can choose who can perceive me. Like see, hear or feel.
I spent countless months hating her, and now I have to hug her?
But I spent years loving her! I didn't want to know about how underworld is like, I didn't like the empty silent house with mom dad crying all the time and wanted to see her again despite hating her. I shouldn't have thought that! Damn it!
I threw aside the blanket and got up from the bed.
She wrapped her ice cold arms around me and I sighed. She was the sixth state of matter, neither truly solid nor gaseous, and definitely not liquid, or the other two. The last time we did this was years ago. It was like sitting near a bonfire in an avalanche.
She took a step back and smiled at me. It was a bit creepy, considering she was a ghost, but warm nevertheless.
"Now aa-are you going to-to, uh.. avenge yourself, or can I gwobactussleep?" My voice broke, overwhelmed with emotions and clashing thoughts. Right now I wanted her to just go so I could cry my heart out.
Her smile faltered, but the warm gaze was still there. In a low voice, she spoke, "I don wanto doot nimore. Insed, I wanto keep my promiss. I wanto achuly beyo sistan best fren. We wuh meantobe awhways tgethr. Maybe notin life, but in death, wesstill cahbe. Wivil makell evay more hell foduh undrruldd beegs!"
I don't want to do it anymore. Instead I want to keep my promise. I want to actually be your sister and best friend. We were meant to be always together. Maybe not in life, but in death we still can be. We will make hell even more hell for the underworld beings!
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