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The Darkest Of Minds

By BdizTheHorrorWhiz All Rights Reserved ©

Horror

The Darkest Of Minds

"Only an hour left." I said to myself. "Only an hour left until I can get out of this place and prove a point." As I looked around, barely able to see anything outside of a soft glow from the moon creeping in from the window, I thought to myself; "Don't be scared. They're just urban legends... Myths."

 I continued to explore the house; the smell of mildew was overwhelming, almost like a mixture of rotting eggs and stale water. The wood floors were weak and creaky, some windows busted out, and creepy, slightly burned photos on the wall. A fire place that was covered in soot as if a fire had gotten out of control, and on the mantle more damaged photographs. Pretty much everything you'd expect from a supposedly haunted house.

 I continued upstairs. There were four rooms on the second floor. Two doors on either side. Three bedrooms and a bathroom all in an equally appalling condition as the first floor.  I entered the first room. It was a child's room.  There was a small, damaged bed with a few model planes crookedly hanging from the ceiling above it. The walls were painted what i assumed to be grey but with the level of damage and dirt it was hard to tell. The worst of it was the smell. It seemed as if the bad smell that had engulfed the house had come from this room. I had to get out of there.  

I started toward the second bedroom when suddenly I heard something. Creek! Completely startled I turned to see the first bedrooms door slightly swaying open, and the crippled, distorted fingers of a hand coiling around the edge of the door, and a dirty nest of hair start to peek out. My heart was pounding. A cold sweat tricked down my face. My body was trembling uncontrollably. 

All I could think of is "Why? Why would I take a bet from my stupid friends? Why was I so desperate to prove a stupid story wrong? Why couldn't I keep my mouth shut and let them have fun with their story?" Arrogance had gotten the best of me. As this figure emerged I started to be able to see it. The long shaggy hair, draped over its face, a beaten up set of clothes that looked like they had been stomped into the ground, and a pair of dirty, cut up feet, with cracked and broken nails. It's head slightly lifted, only revealing its mouth. 

It was horrifying... It's lips were chapped and cracked, completely covered with dried blood and dirt. Its teeth were mangled and blackened. As I stared in disbelief, it began to approach me. I was frozen solid. I couldn't move, I couldn't scream; the air felt like it had gotten thinner and I could barely breathe. All of the sudden.... It was on me. In the blink of an eye, it was right in front of me. Toe to toe. I could hear its broken shaky breathing. Suddenly, it's head shot up and it's eyes were burning red with the darkest look I had ever seen on someone, or more like.. something. 

Then I realized....   I was looking into a horrible, distorted image of.... Myself? I didn't understand. Why was I looking at myself? What could have happened that turned me into that... That thing? As my thought ended, it spoke. In a dry, broken, but oddly sinister voice it said "Nothing happened to you... For you to end up like this.... I am you.... The real you.... The voice in your head that speaks to you in your dreams.... The presence you feel when you're alone... I'm your feeling of anger... Doubt.... Misery and most importantly... I am everything you fear." 

I tried to speak but as my mouth opened, so did it's. Suddenly, all of my energy was drained... The air from my lungs felt completely removed and my vision started to blur. I fell to the ground. The creature mounted me and opened its mouth wide over mine, blood dripping from its mouth into mine. It was so foul but I could do nothing about it. My body fell limp and then suddenly..... It was dark. Piercing, suffocating darkness. I was dead. 

My final thought being, "Why? Why did I have to prove that this house wasn't haunted?" They told me that this entity..... This demon was inhabiting a house and anyone who went in disappeared with no trace. I didn't believe it, but now I know. This house tests you... It shows you the darkest version of yourself you didn't know existed. It shows you the you from the darkest corridor of your mind and if you aren't strong enough.... It takes you. And it turns out..... I wasn't strong enough.


END

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Kiz16: After a truly shocking start to the story, I found the style and content slowed down as the author introduced a varied group of characters who I thought were fleshed out very well. After a slow couple of chapters, I found this story difficult to leave with the tension growing within the house. Yo...

Diane April: Really liked the concept of this story. The beginning had a great explanation about how things worked in the real world that people tend to overlook. It was a nice change from the usual zombie story that just makes things up as they go along and actual facts don't matter.

Tony Lee: Very interesting with good ideas! Would recommend it as a casual read. Been depressed for quite some time but this novel kept me occupied for about a week. If you enjoy fiction-thriller novels with some magic involved, then this is the novel for you.

Alex Rushmer: I like the intrigue that you introduce from the very beginning of the story. The idea of the girl waking up in the alley with no memory of how she got there and with injuries is very interesting. It was very well done. There were a lot of grammatical errors that need to be fixed though. I think t...

Bradley Darewood: I really really really liked this. I just voted for you!The voice is flawless-- I can't write men as well as you do and I have a penis. Maybe I'm narcissistic but I particularly enjoyed the moment where he muses about how artists would do better in such a solitary job. But my favorite moment ...

Ben Gauger: Kudos to Bryan Laesch, author of Remnants of Chaos:Chaotic Omens for his use of the Gothic style of writing and in addition the footnotes and endnotes at the end of each chapter, a welcome accompaniment to be sure, though his use of grammar could use a little improving, but his use of punctuation...

Resting-Madness: I've been in love that strongly, that I could see myself in the same situation as Surgio. The slow crawl of desperation was well depicted, I could feel myself leaning close to the screen, like he and I were conspiring together on how to construct this Frankenstein of Adela. And that's written thr...

Shannon Rohrer: This is probably one of the most imaginative stories I've come across in a long time. You have hooking down to a fine art; every chapter has been as engaging as the one before it, the story unfurling in a way that is easy to follow and paced perfectly for each round of events or backstory. Lookin...

duggsy: This kept me intrigued, I only intended on reading 1 chapter but couldn't stop until I'd read the whole thing. The only let-down were a few spelling mistakes hence the 3 stars but otherwise a great read.

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