Once upon a time in a magical land called ‘Texas’ there lived a boy. His name was Shayne. One day Shayne was walking to his local store, something he did every day. In the store he purchased his usual; a newspaper, an apple and a litre of sulfuric acid. He gave the friendly shopkeeper a smile and off he went back to his funny old house on the hill. The shopkeeper smiled back and wondered how he could make Shayne start paying for things.
Shayne stepped through his front door and was greeted by the familiar sights of home. This was his inner sanctum, the place where he was safe. In the corner was his favourite lamp, the one with the shade made from a section of skin taken from his mother’s back. The coffee table that he had lovingly hand crafted from his collection of dead rats sat just in front of his IKEA sofa. Ah yes, for Shayne this was home. He walked through to his study, passing through the beaded curtain made from real human hair.
His study was an interesting room it had a standard desk and the traditional human skin bound books stored in the rather clichéd skeleton bookcase (made from the bones of dead relatives as tradition dictates) and a high density crosslinked polyethylene bathtub in the far corner. He strode to the bathtub, ignoring his pet woman screaming into her gag from the meathook she was suspended from. What a silly pet woman she was. He poured the acid into the tub with a ‘glug glug glug’ and listened for the soft fizzing sound that the acid would make. Oh how he loved that sound. Shayne turned to finally acknowledge his pet, she stopped screaming and studied his eyes. Shayne had beautiful blue eyes that twinkled. The woman did not see the twinkle.
Shayne had met his pet three days ago when she had appeared at his house asking for directions. She was very beautiful and he knew that she would make a great pet so he simply had to club her over the head and suspend her from a meat hook in his study. But after three days he had grown tired of his pet, all she did was scream and kick at him when he got close. That’s not very nice is it now, pet woman. Shayne would have to teach his pet some manners, her behaviour simply would not do. He grabbed the meat hook and pulled it along the rail that it was suspended from, until the woman was suspended above the bath. Shaynes mother had always told him that cleanliness of body and of mind was the first step to happy and healthy life. He wanted his new pet to be happy and healthy, and what better way to be clean than a quick dip in some sulfuric acid. As he lowered the woman into the acid, that delightful fizzing noise filled the room accompanied by the pleasant aroma of slowly dissolving flesh. Of course this was being ruined by the horrible screams coming from the girl who was quite frankly being quite rude about the whole thing. Be quiet girl Shayne whispered, this is for your own good. Shayne continued to lower the woman into the highly corrosive sulfuric acid and the woman continued to dissolve. Once the woman had been entirely dipped Shayne smiled, the screams had finally stopped. Shayne raised the hook to congratulate his pet only to discover she was very much dead. The whole situation was far from ideal. Shayne didn’t have time to mourn however as there was a knock on the door.
Upon answering the door Shayne discovered a beautiful girl asking if she could use his phone to call a mechanic, it would seem she had run over some spike strips. I really must stop leaving those lying in the road thought Shayne as he gestured the girl into his house whilst reaching for his trusty club.
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