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A Texas Chainsaw Fairytale

By Greg Whittle All Rights Reserved ©

Humor / Horror

Blurb

Based loosely on the texas chainsaw massacre movies but told in the style of a childrens story.

Chapter 1

Once upon a time in a magical land called ‘Texas’ there lived a boy. His name was Shayne. One day Shayne was walking to his local store, something he did every day. In the store he purchased his usual; a newspaper, an apple and a litre of sulfuric acid. He gave the friendly shopkeeper a smile and off he went back to his funny old house on the hill. The shopkeeper smiled back and wondered how he could make Shayne start paying for things.

Shayne stepped through his front door and was greeted by the familiar sights of home. This was his inner sanctum, the place where he was safe. In the corner was his favourite lamp, the one with the shade made from a section of skin taken from his mother’s back. The coffee table that he had lovingly hand crafted from his collection of dead rats sat just in front of his IKEA sofa. Ah yes, for Shayne this was home. He walked through to his study, passing through the beaded curtain made from real human hair.

His study was an interesting room it had a standard desk and the traditional human skin bound books stored in the rather clichéd skeleton bookcase (made from the bones of dead relatives as tradition dictates) and a high density crosslinked polyethylene bathtub in the far corner. He strode to the bathtub, ignoring his pet woman screaming into her gag from the meathook she was suspended from. What a silly pet woman she was. He poured the acid into the tub with a ‘glug glug glug’ and listened for the soft fizzing sound that the acid would make. Oh how he loved that sound. Shayne turned to finally acknowledge his pet, she stopped screaming and studied his eyes. Shayne had beautiful blue eyes that twinkled. The woman did not see the twinkle.

Shayne had met his pet three days ago when she had appeared at his house asking for directions. She was very beautiful and he knew that she would make a great pet so he simply had to club her over the head and suspend her from a meat hook in his study. But after three days he had grown tired of his pet, all she did was scream and kick at him when he got close. That’s not very nice is it now, pet woman. Shayne would have to teach his pet some manners, her behaviour simply would not do. He grabbed the meat hook and pulled it along the rail that it was suspended from, until the woman was suspended above the bath. Shaynes mother had always told him that cleanliness of body and of mind was the first step to happy and healthy life. He wanted his new pet to be happy and healthy, and what better way to be clean than a quick dip in some sulfuric acid. As he lowered the woman into the acid, that delightful fizzing noise filled the room accompanied by the pleasant aroma of slowly dissolving flesh. Of course this was being ruined by the horrible screams coming from the girl who was quite frankly being quite rude about the whole thing. Be quiet girl Shayne whispered, this is for your own good. Shayne continued to lower the woman into the highly corrosive sulfuric acid and the woman continued to dissolve. Once the woman had been entirely dipped Shayne smiled, the screams had finally stopped. Shayne raised the hook to congratulate his pet only to discover she was very much dead. The whole situation was far from ideal. Shayne didn’t have time to mourn however as there was a knock on the door.

Upon answering the door Shayne discovered a beautiful girl asking if she could use his phone to call a mechanic, it would seem she had run over some spike strips. I really must stop leaving those lying in the road thought Shayne as he gestured the girl into his house whilst reaching for his trusty club.

Write a Review Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, Greg Whittle
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CurlyRed: I read this entire book in just under 4 hours I COULD NOT PUT IT DOWN! i found myself emotionally attached to the characters and making personal connections that i had never experienced before while reading a book! I was constantly wanting to read more, every chapter left me on a cliff hanger tha...

Nadine Willard: I loved this story so much! I generally can't stand super girly romance stories, but this one was so relatable! I could not stop reading this, I read it straight through!! I wish this was a series, not just a single story 😊

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Deleted User: (A review in progress). I like this. It's sparse, gritty and atmospheric - reminiscent of the classic Golden Age of American detective fiction of the Thirties. I've only read the beginning, but I'll definitely be back. This writer knows their stuff and has done their homework on detective work. T...

Sinhala-Kella (aka Scandal Mania): Hey Fazio, I LOVED your story! The bus - I don't watch Grey's but that was vividly shocking! And the last paragraph where you said April was engaged to one man but rushed in to save another. It was sooo cute the way Jackson won April back - there were so many lovely bits - 'Shonda' (LOL!).You nee...

jasminedazz: A very cute short story with a good balance of all elements. The writing is quite detailed giving a visual image of what is being read which quite a commendable quality in writing. Just a small pattern that I have noticed is that there is no paragraph breaker between events that have elapsed time...

Ben Gauger: Kudos to Bryan Laesch, author of Remnants of Chaos:Chaotic Omens for his use of the Gothic style of writing and in addition the footnotes and endnotes at the end of each chapter, a welcome accompaniment to be sure, though his use of grammar could use a little improving, but his use of punctuation...

ianwatson: The comedy is original and genuinely funny, I have laughed out loud many times reading this book. But the story and the plot are also really engaging. The opening two or three chapters seem quite character-dense but they all soon come to life and there is no padding, filling or wasted time readin...

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