Female Mafia

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Chapter 4

When this is life as we know it somehow there comes innocence and then we lose that which are ourselves. We are lost in something called a leer or a jeer. The jarring notes of despondency and boredom come to mind. What does it take when we are the best when we can't parade ourselves and make others sit up with the nastiness which we got away with?

Well that is life when one has been so clever and cannot be seen because it broke all the rules and the law. The cheating laws which say one thing and mean another.

Look when we are away on a holiday it is not the same as when we come back and staid at home. Like something lost the candour is gone we have misappropriated a lot of money and are running off.. We include murder in our deeds and our homes are to let.

The tax man is the least of our problems and the thing is did not know there is such a person. The whole stuff is nonsense how can someone take what is ours? To pay for services we do ourselves?

We are our own doctors and our own nurses and what we do at home is our business.

Shackled here with the most boredoms and there is no one to kill except you my dear. I would not do that as long as you are so useful to us.

"Sorry madam?"

"Mother said?"

"I know what she said." The feeling got weird I mean more weird than usual that mother wanted me dead? Darling of course you will survive you are younger than me. Most definitely not because mother seem to be getting my age. No deal there seemed to be raw deal. My sisters said you are now husband and wife? Well it made mother happy.

Her smile grew broader and broader I did have to divide the house in the end. There did not appeal to them who got on mother's side saying she spoke to them. She did indeed they would come with their tea and speak but brief words because mother was more important.

I had to suffer again in silent rage. I am a jealous woman and then thought who cares if they speak to me? Who cares if anyone loves me who dares to be without anyone?

I did not mean to be so pernicious and dull. Went to the garden to do something like watching when the weeds needed me. There was always weeds in the garden soon I would not be able to handle them. Mother went to the vegetable patch and picked some of the vegetables. I did not know she liked that. Before she said she disliked them because she hated worms.

My head was aching less now there was somehow the sun out the apple tree had ivy growing and soon it would have to be chopped off. There other tree had gone right into the middle of the garden and had created a stir amongst the roses. I was just there all the time watching as if one armed bandit and did not know how much longer I could survive on that.

Little money much to do and so much ambition. She said it out loud so little money the means tested and all that allowances made and there she was wanting feeding all the time as if the essences which oozed from her the love of the life.

"I made you cry?"

"Sorry what did you say"?

Mother said you destroyed the garden?" And shut the door she and I were no longer on speaking terms due to her lip being bruised because we had a fight. I am sorry but she did punch me back. She fought like not a eighty year old but a much younger woman.

A eighty year old yes she was supposed to be that. I did not want to know but she had become this out of sorts person. I had to live with. I went back to the garden and tried not to think tried not to sense her staring at my back.

The whole thing came to something like a shock what made me so shocked was how little the sting had benefited me. There was a sting in the tale because something or someone had taken time to do such a sting.

I was supposed to be homeless and only the real mother and father would know that I had a right to stay in the house forever. This one forgot. Of course memory is such a fluid thing but when it did it happen all this?

Everybody thought of me as jobless and homeless and there is nothing now that can change their minds. The thing was I was a carer and had a job as a cook. Nanny dish washer and the other thing in the adage. A woman who worked as these is known to be a spinster in the good old days and they now have no rights and nothing to be. Their rights to speak is not there. Without money or the status we have nothing.

If for some reason I had not been doing the work in the cafe there would not be a cafe now there would not be a house.. The thing was do not begrudge them that. The siblings thought they deserved all and everything their children must wait until they die. Because they older. How history does repeat itself.

"Mother said the same?"

"Yes."

"Did you kill her?"

"No."

"Disliked her hated her smell but did not kill her."

"She was well liked?"

"She was impeccably liked."

"Was that why you hated her?"

"No."

"Why then?"

"Cruelty her name was cruel."

She encouraged the elements to get through she had no sense but to delve in there making believe we were part of some enjoyment which she had missed in her life. She did not lift a finger to stop the things bad things which floated indoors.

"She did not dislike vermin"?

"No she employed them to her advantage."

In the beginning of the 2016 and that is nothing to do with age and sought out plans for holiday this meant surviving. The things which we do for the family are manifold. They did not eventually mask their lack of concern they come and leave laughing and laughing and there is bad feeling as Z said it was her mum. But was it?

Her aunt is there on the phone in something like a callow cow masking the phone call with mischief. The whole thing came to a head when we realised I was a psychic. When someone is on the phone and they come right at one with the other person in line they can influence the psychic into speaking something not intended for company.

The whole thing was a holy cow. I had to be led out of the room and we went walking with the boys. Remembering that day is like we said good bye to their boyhood and then said hello to their manhood.

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