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Coming Undone

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" " Go Slithering through the mind of an unstable housewife who reconnects with her first love igniting predatory and primal reflexes. What starts out as a tumultuous affair becomes a vengeful blood bath. and nothing can stop her from her newfound passion.....murder"

Horror / Erotica
Age Rating:


Susan looked down as her phone vibrated in her hand and saw the name on the incoming call, “Mitch” she whispered as she slid her finger across the answer button and said “Hello?”

“Um, yeah?” a young female’s voice came through on the other end of the line. Susan’s eyes narrowed as she tried to keep her calm. This bitch sounded like a valley girl, I bet she is blonde Susan thought to herself as she cleared her throat and regained her composure. “Hi” Susan said matter of factly, “Did Mitch leave his phone with you tonight, he couldn’t find it on the way home and he is already asleep can I come pick it up from you?” Susan said dryly.

“Oh, um” ‘laughter’ “yeah, he left it in my car after we hooked up” ‘more laughter’ “Sorry, yeah, like where do you wanna meet me, I’m at my house but I can drive wherever.” the girl half slurred obviously wasted.

Susan’s thoughts were still focused on the girl’s last sentence and confirmation that he had been with another woman that night and she scanned the parking lot for cameras. For a split second she wondered why she had done that but being off her medication was making her do things she didn’t understand and she had just taken a crazy hit to the head. There were no cameras in this dive and the parking lot was empty as it was off season this time of year. “Hello?” the girl’s voice jolted Susan back to reality. “Oh, sorry” Susan said, “Was walking to better reception, do you know where the Oasis Motel is off the strip Oceanside?”

“Hell Yeah, we party there on Spring Break” the girl giggled, making Susan want to vomit.

“Ok, can you meet me there? I am here with some friends for an after party; you can join us if you want?” Susan said as coolly as she could muster. “I’ll be outside in the parking lot next to a maroon SUV and please don’t forget the phone; I’ll wake up Mitch so you two can hang out, ok?”

“Ok, be there in ten minutes” the girl said as she hung up the phone.

Susan didn’t ask the girl her name nor did she want to know and she wasn’t even sure what she was going to do when the mystery girl got there. Should she beat her ass or just take the phone and say thank-you. Why had she said there was a party and that she would wake up Mitch so they could hang out? Should she offer up a threesome and then wait for the girl to leave and claim rape and send his sorry ass to prison? No, he had too many I love you’s from her.

She did have marks all over her though but everyone knows she likes it rough. “Fuck!” she groaned as she checked the time on her phone 2:34 a.m. The battery was going dead again so she clicked it off and waited for the mystery girl to show. If there was one thing about never having been to prison before, being off much needed medication and having to wait idly by it’s that it makes the mind a terrible weapon, a deadly cocktail if you will.

Susan sat in her SUV waiting and shuffled nervously through her glove box and center console looking through cd cases and tossing aside empty bottles, plastic lunch bags and miscellaneous clothing and junk from her kids and for a second she remembered that she was actually a Mother. What the hell was she doing sitting in a parking lot at two a.m. beaten and waiting on a little whore to return her lover’s phone for? “I’m going to hell” she whispered as she saw a pair of headlights turn in to the parking lot on the wrong side. It was a typical beater beach car that had seen better days. Probably an early 90′s model from the looks of it and a silver or grey color with bumper stickers all over the back window as it pulled into the slot almost directly in front of her.

As Susan expected a very young blonde girl with long legs got out in a skimpy dress and faltered slightly in her stripper heels. “Great she is drunk” Susan whispered to herself as she got out of her Soccer Mom SUV and walked over to the mess of a girl. Susan noted the girl was pretty but not beautiful and from her perspective Mitch in his state of drunkenness probably saw her as a goddess. She noted the girl had Mitch’s cell phone in her hand and then saw the hot pink nail polish, flaking and pasty, definitely painted them herself. This girl was a hot mess and indeed probably had something she didn’t want to catch which sent Susan over the edge. Seventeen years she had invested in loving a man for all the wrong reasons and she finally got her shot and now not only Mitch but this little bitch of a valley girl standing in front of her had his phone in her hand and his cum in her “Ugh!” Susan said in disgust.

“What?” said the girl oblivious to any of Susan’s thoughts, she just stood there with her hand outstretched expecting Susan to take the phone.

“I’m sorry” Susan said, “I just keep getting sand in my mouth from all of the air whipping around because we are so close to the water.

“Oh, right yeah, so um where’s Mitch? I thought maybe we could hook up again” the girl stammered as she twirled her messy blonde hair in her fingers.

Susan’s pupils dilated so much they were almost pure black, just a faint ring of green outlined the edges as she balled her fists wanting to pummel this little bitch’s face in, but the files in her head kept turning the chapters of her life one by one. Her favorite movie played over and over in her head and the one line kept coming back to her “They must suffer as I have suffered”.

Susan took on the mothering role like a pro and smiled gently at the girl as if giving her the green light to trust her implicitly. Susan’s eyes softened, but her mind twisted and writhed like a madwoman as she devised the unthinkable. Her life as she knew it had never been good, not even from her conception as a rape baby. It was time to carve her own destiny, right here, right now and she was going to make sure she was in complete control of it this time. It was also time to make the right people pay even if the innocent suffer as she had suffered. They weren’t so innocent after all right? Her life has always been about a bunch of sluts, whores, drug addicts, drunks. liars, thieves and fools and it was time someone paid the ultimate price. Now the bounty may be on many unfortunate heads but no one was innocent and her rage began to build once more at the thought of the love of her life betraying her. “Mitch” she whispered as her heart began to beat feverishly in her chest, “How many women must die before they catch me, how many women must suffer and be tortured in the most gruesome of fashions before they catch you.” She seethed.

Susan paused for a moment as she tasted the blood in her mouth, she had bitten her tongue and ironically as she thought about all of the murders she was going to commit in the name of revenge and a broken heart it tasted like candy on her taste buds. For a split second she hoped they never caught Mitch. She felt herself wanting to kill. Maybe, just maybe this is what she was born to do. Her eyes narrowed as she turned her attention back to the phone call knowing this little slut of a girl only had hours to live and she had no clue. This made Susan smile a genuine smile for the first time the entire day.

“What is your name Hun? So I can call Mitch and tell him we are coming to the party, it moved from here to another hotel, I’ll have to get the address and room number from him, but I have his friend’s cell number. They came and picked him up right before you got here.” Susan said without skipping a beat of her lie.

“Danna” she replied.

“Well Miss Danna, this is your lucky night! Why don’t you hop on in that car right there and I’ll give Mitch a quick call and we’ll be on our way. Just hold onto his phone for me would ya? You can give it to him yourself when you see him in a few minutes. Oh and you can leave your purse in your car and just lock it up if you want to, I’ll pay for everything.” Susan said as she opened up her wallet showing Danna a huge wad of one hundred dollar bills.

Danna smiled her drunken smile and tucked her purse under the front seat of her car and locked it and climbed into Susan’s SUV while Susan pretended to walk off and make a call to Mitch. What she was really doing was calculating her next move. First things first, she hadn’t touched Mitch’s phone, she hadn’t touched the girl, she hadn’t touched the car and “Oh” she whispered softly to herself. “Did he use a condom, and what do I do with her car, and what about the guy who helped me get Mitch out of the bar, but then Mitch could have sobered up and called that girl from my phone because she called back and then he came to meet her here and I left because he beat me up, as long as I take pictures I won’t get caught. I could always say he took her in my car without me knowing and get another room. Jesus Susan! What the fuck are you thinking?”

Susan took a deep breath as her heels clicked along the asphalt to her car where Danna was practically passed out cold to her relief. Susan opened the door, started the car and turned out of the parking lot at 3:11 a.m. and drove towards Beach Access #4.

It was pitch black when the maroon SUV pulled up alongside the dunes along the access and the only light was a sliver of a moon dancing along the waves that crashed violently against the empty shoreline. It was just them and God tonight and Susan knew it. She left the car running but turned off the headlights as she walked around to Danna’s side of the car, then paused as sand slapped her in the face. She knew as soon as the cold air hit her she would wake up and the elements were merciless tonight.

Susan went to the hatchback and looked at the tire iron, she tilted her head to one side and thought about all of the forensic shows she had watched and fiber evidence and DNA and sighed as she rifled through the backseats. Then she smiled as she saw one of Mitch’s sweatshirts lying in the backseat, it had been so sweet of him to grab that for her so she wouldn’t get cold at the beach when they went for their walk at sunrise. She grabbed it and took out the tire iron and studied the ends. The flat side was perfect for stabbing, the round side was perfect for bashing and even though she knew Danna most likely had no clue Mitch was taken and would wonder why Susan was so mad.

All Susan cared about was the last thing this little bitch would see was Susan’s face before she met her Maker and that dear little Danna was about to experience some of the pain that Susan endured tonight because of her. If those little hookers hadn’t come into the bar he never would have left and none of this would have ever happened and Mitch would be making love to her right now instead of passed out cold and her ribs would not be crushing her insides.

Susan’s pain was replaced by adrenaline as she opened the car door on Danna’s side and as she expected Danna sat bolt upright in the passenger seat with tired eyes and just enough drool coming down the side of her mouth to make look almost pathetic, almost. “Get out of the fucking car you little whore!” Susan screamed into the night air.

Danna’s eyes widened as she stumbled out of the car, she didn’t even notice what was wrapped in the sweater in Susan’s hands and she put Mitch’s phone up to her head in confusion as she fell into the sand at Susan’s feet. Susan screamed at Danna again as she resisted the urge to kick her in the head. “Get the fuck up and walk you gutter slut, you think you can fuck my man and walk away like nothing happened? Huh? Do you!” she screamed. “I have loved him for seventeen years and you come in for thirty minutes and take that from me! Do you even know what I have been through for him? You piece of shit! Walk! Get up and walk!”

Danna managed to get to her feet and stammered “I didn’t know, he didn’t tell me please don’t hurt me.”

“Please don’t hurt me” Susan mocked her. “It’s too late for begging, it was too late for begging the day you were born. Did you know that?” Susan asked as Danna took her first steps into the dunes, sliding backwards in her cheap heels. “I said did you know that!” Susan screamed as she swung the tire iron at the back of Danna’s head with such force that she heard the girl’s skull crack. Danna fell on the side of the dunes making an instant indentation in the sand. Susan lifted the tire iron again and bashed Danna’s skull repeatedly, so many times that even she lost count, until it was unrecognizable as a skull anymore. Brain matter and hair were scattered everywhere and Susan could taste blood in her mouth and she knew it was all over her. She would have no choice now but to get rid of everything. She was in this too far and she was not done, she was not yet satisfied that this girl had paid. Yes her life was gone, but people would feel sorry for her, that wasn’t enough for Susan, she wanted this girl to be violated the way she felt violated so many years ago and Mitch was going to take the fall for it. After all, he had already fucked Danna, his sperm was in her. Susan was sure they were both too drunk to use a condom and from the mess this girl was she was probably on the pill because she was a whore.

Susan set the tire iron down and used the bloodied sleeve of the sweater to turn the girl over, her face was unrecognizable due to the damage to the back of what was left of her skull. “You aren’t so pretty now are ya?” Susan seethed as she used the bloodied sleeve once again to hike up the girl’s skirt exposing her underwear. Susan could tell she had sex recently because they were soaking wet in the crotch. “Well, obviously we need to keep these and hot pink! Surprise. Surprise.” Susan growled as she ripped them off of the dead girl still using the bloodied sleeve. “Well, Mitch let’s show the world what a sick bastard you really are shall we?” Susan whispered as she picked up the tire iron, this time sharp end pointing forward, ramming it as far as she could up the girl’s vagina repeatedly, then moving to her anus and repeating the unthinkable with a voracious appetite.

The blood and flesh of the girl’s once young beauty now looked like something that had gone through a grinder in a meat market. “No one will want to fuck you now whore!!” Susan screamed into the night as she sat back to catch her breath admiring her work and felt herself even a little turned on as she picked up a handful of sand and let it fall through her fingers. The tiny grains felt rough against her inside of her palm and she rubbed her left index finger and thumb together to feel the grit still clutching the tire iron in her right hand so tightly her hand was going numb. She glanced down at the weapon and smiled, then giggled in a little girl’s voice and then for no reason at all she began to sing softly, not in reverence to the dead but to herself, “I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell, ya unwell… unwell, just wait awhile…. awhile, then you’ll see, a different side ameeeeee”. She almost whispered the tune singing in an eerily calm child’s voice.

Susan set down the tire iron beside the girl and surveyed the scene very carefully knowing she had absolutely no margin for error. Absolutely nothing of Susan’s could have Danna’s blood on it, but everything else could be explained away, especially because she knew for a fact that Mitch had intercourse with this girl and his phone, semen and sweater would all be found with her. “God, I need to think” Susan said breathlessly. She felt empowered and elated at killing for the first time in her life. She had come close before but this....this was magical and it was better than any drug she had ever taken or any orgasm she had ever had.

Susan was freezing when she emerged from the ocean twenty minutes later; it had to be fifty degrees if not colder in there. She had taken off her dress and washed out her hair and body thoroughly in the saltwater hoping to get the majority of the blood out. If some of it stayed on she figured that was ok because if Mitch had taken her car that night it could have transferred from him. She would have to make sure and steal the set of clothes he wore that night and burn them so he could never produce them as evidence in his favor should it come to that. The girl’s car, well that really wasn’t her problem, there were no cameras and no one was out that night. Susan didn’t dare turn on her phone due to fear of a cell tower picking up where she might be so she got in her car soaking wet, turned on the heat and went back to the motel. She pushed the seat back far enough where she could not reach the pedals so it would seem as though a very tall person had been driving and left her purse under the passenger seat with the keys inside. It was a keyless start so the keys just had to be inside for the vehicle to turn on.

She quietly pushed the card into the motel lock and got into the hot shower and scrubbed herself with two bars of soap and an entire bottle of shampoo. She wrapped all of her clothing in a motel towel and placed it in a garbage bag. Included were her little black dress, a lacy black bra, and a pair of thigh highs. Susan had been smart enough to leave her heels in the car at the beach, it makes walking on those dunes a real bitch.

She gently placed her phone in Mitch’s pocket and lay her head on the pillow of the bed opposite of Mitch who was still passed out cold, oblivious to the fact that he had just committed murder and in Susan’s twisted mind he had actually done this, not her. It was his fault and he would be the one to pay for his mistakes. She noticed the massive bruising already forming on her ribcage and arms while in the shower but she didn’t care, she had never felt so good in all of her life because justice was finally being served. Her eyes wandered over to the motel clock 5:47 a.m. It would be daylight soon.

Susan awoke to the sounds of metal pans crashing onto the counters as Mitch, obviously upset, and was making breakfast in the kitchenette. She looked at the clock which read 7:42 a.m. and blinked as she buried herself in the blankets. Her head was throbbing from lack of sleep and Mitch obviously remembered nothing about the night before but she did and she smiled to herself knowing what was in store for him. Mitch turned to her and she could see the anger in his eyes as he held up her ring now on his index finger. “Is this what we have come to?” he asked gruffly as he flung it across the room at her. It landed on the tile with a small clinking sound and Susan groaned at him not wanting to do this right now.

She lifted her head from the pillow as he smashed the eggs against a glass bowl shattering the shells into pieces. She looked at his left hand and saw his ring was not on his hand and she didn’t even care where he had left it at this point but he was going to face his demons this morning. She was too tired to deal with this anymore.

“Look at me!” she yelled as she flung off her blankets and bared her battered body to him. “Look at me you son of a bitch! You want to yell and scream? Let’s yell and scream! Let’s throw shit!” she bellowed as she threw the hotel phone across the room at him merely missing his face by inches.

Mitch’s face turned as pale as a ghost as he walked to the edge of the bed facing her and sat down placing his head in his hands and began to cry. “Oh Jesus, forgive me” he sobbed as he looked up at her. His baby blue eyes were now overrun with waterfalls as he tried to reach for Susan but she pulled back from him.

“You honestly don’t remember anything about last night do you?” she whispered.

Mitch shook his head no, and Susan fell back into bed, covering her bruised body which was now so sore she could hardly move. Mitch sobbed for what seemed like an eternity before getting down on his knees and retrieving her ring from the tile. He cupped it in his hands like a baby even though he knew it meant nothing to her now. He had ruined everything and he was sure if nothing else he had lost her forever and if she hadn’t already surely she was going to have him arrested. He couldn’t believe what he had done to her.....what had he done to her? He couldn’t remember anything.

“What happened?” he begged her. “Susan, please tell me what I did to you.”

Susan groaned as she pulled the pillow over her head until she remembered one key little piece of her plan. She lifted the pillow and looked him in the eye. It was time for the storytelling to begin.

“Mitch, last night at the bar you left and were gone for a while, I don’t know where you went or who you were with but when you came back I had to have help getting you in the car and we came back here. You were so upset about it that you demanded I take you back to the bar and when I refused, you took my ring from me, my phone from me and then you did this to me. I came inside to get away from you because I was scared and you stayed outside and made a call. I don’t know who you called but you left again in my car and didn’t come back. I stayed up waiting until almost five a.m. then I must have fallen asleep. I didn’t even hear you come in this morning but you are still in your clothes from last night so I am assuming you made it in after that. Where is my car?”

Mitch looked absolutely stunned and Susan’s story was far from believable, even a blackout drunk wouldn’t believe he could do all of that and not remember but she was beaten. “Why would I have your phone when I have my phone? He said as he stuck his hands in his pockets pulling out nothing but his wallet and Susan’s phone. “What the fuck? Where is my phone?” Mitch yelled.

“Jesus, don’t yell my head hurts” Susan stammered. “See I told you, you took my phone, and maybe yours is in the car? You drove it last night obviously.” she said as she tried to open her tired eyes.

“How the hell would I drive it Susan huh? I was drunk and you had the keys.” Mitch protested.

“It was still running when you dragged me out of it and slammed me against it demanding I take you to the bar, I left my purse inside under the passenger seat like I always do, go check for yourself!” she yelled, now irritated at his defiance.

Mitch swung open the door to the room letting in the morning sun and Susan thought she might actually burst into flames. Her hand went up to protect her eyes as she waited for him to find everything just as she had said it would be and he would notice the seat too because he always commented on how far up it was because she was a foot shorter than he was. Susan was too tired to celebrate and plopped the pillow back over her head, checkout time was noon and she knew they were staying another night. There was no way she was getting out of bed anytime soon and knowing Mitch he was going to want to look for his phone all day anyway. Besides, if they found the body she wanted to be front and center to watch the fireworks if they made the connection to Mitch, “Bastard, you deserve what you get” she whispered as she drifted off to what would be a very brief sleep,

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Further Recommendations

Laurence: Merci pour ce roman palpitant, captivant....vraiment il m'a permis de m'évader. J'ai apprécié chaque chapître, la romance y est, l'érotisme, le suspense, la violence...un mélange qui matche bien. Je vous encourage à continuer l'écriture ❤️❤️😘

Bam.jk8338: Estuvo bien redactado y bien explicito, eso me gustó

Shakeicha Young: Omg what a story!!

Amy Grindle: This book is hot from the beginning. Teacher with student is an amazing story line that never gets old.

Rebecca: Man merkt die Spannungen bis zum Schluss. Ich lese jede freie Minute

Shakeicha Young: Loved this story

Nora: J'ai tout aimé beaucoup de suspense

Manuela: Eine schöne und auch emotionale Geschichte war fesselnd und würde gerne ne Fortsetzung davon lesen

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maria: I disliked that it was short wanted more of it, loved the characters they were interesting, would have loved a little more drama but all in all was a great read would definitely recommend and would read it again. Thanks for sharing your book ❤️

LaQuiche: Amazing for this slow build up to be so satisfying! Definitely a guilty pleasure!

Irais: Eres una gran escritora hermosa eres la mejor 💜 me encantan todas tus historias, siempre captas mi atención desde el primer capítulo

eotero945: Me encantooooo. Amo el Kookmin!!

Nashla_343: Me encanta ❤️🤣 y me dio mucha risa

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