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It's not what you think.

By PrincesslexileAnne All Rights Reserved ©


I've been here so many times before.

I'm in Hell. I swear to god I'm dying. Pieces of my flesh burn as they're grated off my body. Pieces of glass wedging inside the palms of my hands, and the caps of my knees. The blood trickles down my wrists and sticks to my forearms. 

"Go die." The words echo around me in the blackness. With each letter my body burns. I arch my back, trying to get away from the branding iron of the words. I have to get out. But I don't even know where I am now. Bars swirl and dance in my vision. Confirming my suspicion that I'm in a cage. With a ceiling just barely tall enough for me to stand in, and the floor made of glass shards. I don't know why I'm here. Just yesterday I was happy. I ruled my own world. 

"Why don't you just cut your throat?" The words are whispered, and instead of a branding iron this brings knives, inserting themselves into my arms and legs before slowly dragging down. My skin peels open, and the warm air makes me scream. I'm covered in blood. Sticky, burning, blood. I can smell it. My vision blurs as I scream. There's no sound. I'm empty. I've lost the will to live. My throat burns and grates as I try to make a sound. I swing my arms, trying to fight back, but I'm distracted. My toes are freezing. Numb. I realized slowly that water is leaking into the room. I try not to move my feet to avoid more cutting, but something is wrong. P-pain. oh dear god. Its salt water. I'm in the ocean. As it leaks into my cuts I shriek.

"Freak!" The word is smashing into my skull, demanding that I give up. My chest is tight, and I kick my feet, trying to swim up against the concrete ceiling.  the rough stone grates against the back of my neck. Ripping open holes in my skin. The water is up to my calves. I can't breath already. Too small. Stinging. My entire body is on fire. My pores are leaking flames and glass. I have a bubble in my mouth. 

"I hate you. Your such a stupid-" I explode. I begin screaming and kicking. I have to get free. I'm going to die if I stay in here any longer. I've lost so much pain. My head is throbbing and blood trickles into my eyes. I smash my head, my fists, eventually my elbows and shoulders into the ceiling. It doesn't crack. Doesn't even budge. The water is at my knees and paralyzing me. The salt burns and grates at me. I'm slowing down. In the dim lighting I can see the water turning pink with my blood. I vomit., and now the water is green and brown. My eyes water at the aroma, and I turn back to my task. The water is at my chest, pressing on me, forcing me to take shallow breaths. The stinging on my arms and legs were going numb. My brain was glitching. It was getting harder to move. Harder to speak. I hear cracking and look up. I've managed to chip the ceiling, but there are pieces of concrete wedged into my shoulder. I threw myself at it again and again, listening to it slowly chip away. So slowly. The water is at my neck. I take deep breaths as I realize that I'm going to drown. I try to brush the blood off my face, but I can't. I can't feel my arm. I can barely feel my feet. I can feel them moving a bit. Keeping me above the thrashing water, only by inches. I thrust up once more, and feel hot air rush down on me. I'm out. I keep smashing into it, making the hole larger, and keeping my face positioned so I can breath. I find the strength to move my arms again. One last time. I kick and pull myself out of the cage, crying as the warm air nips and burns my cuts. I lay on the concrete slab, sobbing. Concrete pieces are wedged into my shoulder and palms so deeply I know they will be there for forever. My tears burn my face, damaged by a million small cuts. I feel like I'm on fire. My entire body burns and aches. I try to sit up, using my arm as a support beam, but its too weak, and I fall back onto my face. 

"Why the hell are YOU here? No one wants you around." It's like being hit by a sledge hammer. My bones shatter, and I feel my muscles stretching and ripping. I turn onto my hands and knees, managing to vomit again just before I'm kicked in the ribs, and roll to the side. I cross my arms over my chest and close my eyes, holding my breath and waiting for the next blow. Then the next. And the one after that. I'm unable to take a full breath, so I'm suffocating. Unable to breath, unable to move. I try to roll, but am kicked back to where I was. Lightning bolts of pain flash through my body, making my stomach contract repeatedly, and I puke again. unable to move, I'm just rolling in my own burning acid. 

"Are you okay?" This voice is soft. Sweet even. Unlike the voices that came before it, this voice is concerned. The blows soften into nothing. My body is still burning, but its bearable. I can breath a little easier. I'm able to sit up, and rest my head on my knees. It was bad this time. I hold my breath to keep from screaming as I look at the darkness around me. I have to get out. 

"Its alright. Come on. I'll take care of you." My cuts still burn, but I force myself to stand. I know what to do from here. Every muscle in my body aches, and screams at me. I force myself to walk forward, pushing my legs across the rough ground. I have to get to that voice. I have to get away from here. 

"Loser." Unexpectedly, a harsh voice is thrown at me, slamming me in the back and forcing me back down on my hands and knees. I crawl forward, determined to escape my prison. I finally reach the wall. A looming black mass, towering over me. I do what I did with the concrete ceiling. Ii throw my fists at it. But as time goes on, I get stronger. The gentle caress of the soft voice cheers me on, and I become more determined. I slip a few times, falling to the ground and holding my breath, almost just letting my pain take me over and give up, but I drag myself up, using the dark wall as a grip. It takes hours. But I smash through the wall. Light streams in, and Ii can see the voice. I fall into her arms, exhausted. "Its alright. You did good." She whispers. I nod, tears streaming through my vision. I have escaped the darkest place known to mankind. For now, even if it is only a short matter of time, I have escaped my own mind. 

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