During those days in my life, I tried everything I could think of. Sleeping on the couch. Gluing the window shut. Taping the window shut. I’d spend days awake, fighting exhaustion, watching movies, doing schoolwork, even dancing, anything to keep my body moving. I’d crash. Then the woman would come.
There wasn’t a world of options available to me. It wasn’t like I could move to another home. One night, I went to bed with a knife beneath my pillow. The big butcher blade from the kitchen. When I woke in the morning, the knife was still there. It was covered in blood. I had no idea whose blood it was.