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VOID

By LoneRenegade All Rights Reserved ©

Horror

Void

I wake up to the sound of dripping water. There’s a horrible stench in the air. It makes my eyes water and my cheeks burn with prolactin-riddled tears. The only light is from an industrial fan making flashes of eerie light in the darkness. In each flash I see a different image.
In each flash I see a hand turn to an arm. The arm is poorly wrapped in yellowed bandages and crusted decay. I hear a tiny voice.

“Chaos…Strife…Pain…Chaos…Strife…Pain…”

It is male. In the next flash, the arm has vanished.
But not the voice. It kept repeating until it turned to a hoarse chant that only rose in volume

Chaos. Strife. Pain.

Chaos. Strife. Pain.

Chaos. Strife. Pain.

Chaos. Strife. Pain.

Chaos. Strife. Pain.

Chaos. Strife. Pain.

My throat is reduced to shreds as the fear takes over. There’s a ringing in my ears when I can no longer make sound. I feel a
numbness in my leg. I look down and in the next couple flashes, there is blood. There is a piercing awareness of pain now that I have seen it. I scream again as my foot moves out of instinct and fear and pain. I try to sit up on the dusty floor but suddenly I am yanked up by my hair.

There’s another face next to mine. Its breathing is slow and I can feel it on my face and its stench is foul. I hold my breath and close my eyes, keeping myself from looking at the figure over me. “Chaos…” The voice hit my face and I winced. It smelt of rotting decay and disgusting bloodied teeth. The male voice threw my face to the floor with brute force. I hit hard and feel a couple bones break with an internal cracking sound. He bends down to look at me. “Strife.” He says knowingly. A pathetic noise comes from my throat as I lay face down in the dust. “Chaos.” The voice seems to confirm himself this time, taking his blunt fingernails and raking them down my back. 

I cry out in agony for only a moment. Then he repeats his actions. I feel the points shredding my skin deeper and deeper. I just cry out some more and he seems to like what he sees.

“Pain.” He confirms then continues beating my body down.

I feel bones shatter in all nooks of my body as the man kicks and beats me. I almost feel relieved when the fan speeds up and the light fades. Now I won’t be able to see my body after the man finishes.

I feel what he meant. The chaos in my head. The strife in my heart. The pain in my being. There is no coming out of this
nightmare. Only darkness remains in this lifetime.



 

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Clarissa: Very atmospheric and descriptive language, with good character development. This is a complex and interesting story - definitely worth a read.

Deleted User: This is a very clever story in the style of 19th century (and turn of the century) Gothic writing, very reminiscent of Stevenson's The Body Snatchers or even of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (less so of Frankenstein itself, since the author is more minimalist than Shelley's florid, Romantic rhetoric). ...

Shannon Rohrer: This is probably one of the most imaginative stories I've come across in a long time. You have hooking down to a fine art; every chapter has been as engaging as the one before it, the story unfurling in a way that is easy to follow and paced perfectly for each round of events or backstory. Lookin...

Colin Milroy: To begin, I don't think that the first review of this story was fair at all. Based on the popularity of this story, I would say the one-star review hasn't done much harm, but I still felt the need to address it. Now I will do my best to be constructive.I liked the concept of this story. I found i...

duggsy: This kept me intrigued, I only intended on reading 1 chapter but couldn't stop until I'd read the whole thing. The only let-down were a few spelling mistakes hence the 3 stars but otherwise a great read.

Alex Rushmer: I like the intrigue that you introduce from the very beginning of the story. The idea of the girl waking up in the alley with no memory of how she got there and with injuries is very interesting. It was very well done. There were a lot of grammatical errors that need to be fixed though. I think t...

shadowmaven: At first, the word "Dagon" threw me, making me think that this was going to be a story based on one of Lovecraft's, and was pleasantly surprised--no, make that thrilled--when it wasn't (honestly, I like your mythos more). Your writing is so lyrical, deftly capturing this tiny village and the rela...

Resting-Madness: I've been in love that strongly, that I could see myself in the same situation as Surgio. The slow crawl of desperation was well depicted, I could feel myself leaning close to the screen, like he and I were conspiring together on how to construct this Frankenstein of Adela. And that's written thr...

Ben Gauger: Kudos to Bryan Laesch, author of Remnants of Chaos:Chaotic Omens for his use of the Gothic style of writing and in addition the footnotes and endnotes at the end of each chapter, a welcome accompaniment to be sure, though his use of grammar could use a little improving, but his use of punctuation...

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