Paranatural Detective Agency Vol. 1

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27 days, 7 hours, and 43 minutes later, a new gibbous moon shone its cold light over Brackley copse. Nigel Mooney ran out of the wood, breathing hard and clutching a dirty brown leather covered box. He stopped and scanned the view ahead. A car was waiting for him about half a mile across the field, the front sidelights cast a dim halo around the car; Mooney continued his trot towards it.

Mooney walked the last few yards towards the curiously old black car, it looked new but the shape spoke otherwise. The windows were tinted and Mooney tried to peer inside of the Ford classic Deluxe. The passenger window wound down a crack,

‘Get in Mr Mooney’ ordered a young female voice. Mooney opened the back passenger side door and slid inside closing the door behind him. Once seated he looked forward, a young woman strikingly attractive with shoulder length blond hair faced him, she was wearing a sharply cut black business blazer. ‘Did you get it?’ she asked him simply. Mooney held up the box so she could see it.

‘Course, see!’ he said proudly.

‘Hand it over’ she ordered. Mooney covered the box protectively with both his hands.

‘Hang on you pay me first right! You said I’d get paid’

‘And you will Mr Mooney, you will’ answered the woman, her eyes fixed on the box.

‘Then pay me first, no pay, no box’ Mooney insisted.

‘Just give her the goddamned box you schmuck!’ came a third midget-like high pitched voice. Mooney looked around puzzled as to where the voice had come from, and then he realised that somebody was sitting in the driving seat. As Mooney leant over, a garish grinning ventriloquist’s doll’s head slowly rose from below the driver’s seat headrest, it spun around to look at him, ‘Surprise!’ came a shout from the doll. Mooney was confused,

‘Ere, what’s going on, who’s working that thing?’

‘Thing? Thing? Excuse me! You sit in my car and insult me! Why you fu…’

‘Knucklehead, be quiet will you!’ the woman shouted. The Dolls head slowly sunk back to rest on top of its diminutive shoulders. ‘Mr Mooney, the box please’ insisted the woman. Confused and a little bit scared, Mooney handed over the box. Carefully the woman turned the box over in her hands, examining it, she ran her fingers along the two black cable ties that had securely fastened the lid. ‘You did well Mr Mooney, very well’

‘Well I knew where they’d put it see, coz I followed them, that night like you said. Anyway, you got it now, what about what’s coming to me?’

‘Don’t worry Mr Mooney, you will get what’s coming, you will get it right now!’ The woman raised her hand; she was holding an automatic pistol. Mooney panicked and grabbed for the car door handle, frantically he tried to open the door but the door refused to budge, and all the while the interior of the car was filled with the cackling laughter emanating from the dummy in the driver’s seat. Two shots were fired and Mooney slumped back, his head slid down and hit the inside door panel, blood began to trickle from the corner of his still mouth.

‘Aww shucks, you gone and made a mess in my car lady!’ Before the woman could respond to the dummy the car was filled with the ringing of a mobile phone, she reached into her blazer and removed her phone, smiling when she saw who was calling she placed the phone to her left ear,

‘Good evening sir, yes we have it, no, no one saw, yes he’s been dealt with. We are on our way back!’ She switched off her phone.

‘Was that the boss?’ asked the dummy with a raised eyebrow.

‘Shut up and drive back Knucklehead!’ said the woman as she lit a cigarette and wound down the window.

‘Don’t call me that! You know I don’t like it when people call me that, Knucky, call me Knucky Damn ya!’

‘Just drive I don’t want to fight’

‘Alright! You heard her, let’s get going’ The dummy spoke and the car engine turned over and slowly pulled away off the field and onto the road that would take them out of Carfax town.

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