“911, what is your emergency?”
“Yeah, hi, um...This is going to sound kind of strange but there's a man stumbling around in circles in my front yard.”
“...could you repeat that, sir?”
“He looks...sick, or lost, or drunk, or something. I just woke up to get a glass of water and heard snow crunching around underneath my front window so I peeked out...I'm looking at him now, he's about ten yards away from my window. Something's not right.”
“What is your address, sir?”
“1617 Quarry Lane, in Pinella Pass.”
“I'm going to send a squad car your way, but that's quite a ways out. Are you alone in your house sir?”
“Yes, I'm alone.”
“Can you confirm that all of your doors and windows are locked? Stay on the phone with me.”
“I know that my front is definitely locked, but I'll go check my back door again really quick.
I appreciate your help, by the way, I know this is kind of strange but I really hope that –“
“...Sir? Are you still there?”
“He's...he's still in the yard yard. But he's...what the fuck...he's upside down...”
“Sir? Stay on with me, what is happening?”
“He's staring right at me...but he's...he's standing on his hands now. He's perfectly still, staring straight at me. He's doing a handstand and he's smiling at me and not moving.”
“He's...he's doing a handstand, sir?”
“I...I don't know how he...yeah, he's facing me and standing on his hands and he's got this huge smile and he's perfectly still...what the FUCK...please get someone out here NOW.”
“Sir I need you to remain calm. I've put out the call and an officer is on his way.”
“His teeth are so huge...what the fuck, please help me...”
“Sir I want you to try and keep an eye on him but make sure your back door is locked again. We need to make sure all possible access points are secured. Can you talk me through and confirm that your back door is locked?”
“Okay...I'm walking backwards now and keeping him in my sight...
My hand is on the back doorknob now...it's locked. I need to check the deadbolt so I'm going to take my eyes off of him for a split second.”
“Alright sir. Help is on the way. Just stay on the phone with me, everything's going to be alright.
...Sir? Are you still there?”
“He's...his face. It's up against the glass.”
“Sir, I need you to speak up. What is happening?”
“I looked away for a split second and now...his face. It's pressed up against my front window. His teeth are huge and he's still smiling...There's no color in his eyes...Jesus please help me, why won't it just fucking move...”
“Sir, I need you to go to the nearest room and lock yourself inside of it. Do you have a basement or a bedroom that you can lock yourself in?”
“He won't stop staring...he's going to hurt me...”
“Sir I need you to listen to me. Lock yourself somewhere safe until the officer arrives at your house. Can you hear me?”
“I...yes...yes, I'm going to lock myself in my room.”
“And you're positive that you're alone in your house, correct?”
“Yes, I'm alone in the house...
…wait a moment...
he's moving. He's shaking his head. He's telling me no. He can hear us.
He's telling me I'm not alone.”
“Sir? Sir are you still there? I heard a loud noise, is everything alright?