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A Great Day for a Mojotastic Joyride

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Alex and Pete, two goober ballers, were walking back from the gym when all of a sudden reality shifts to an alternate world. Lost, dazed and somewhat confused, the two need to figure out how they're gonna get back to their dimension and how they the hell they even got there in the first place.

Humor / Scifi
3.0 1 review
Age Rating:

Chapter 1

Mildly out of breath, Alex and Pete strolled out through the hand-smudged glass doors of the Youfit gym and made their way through the large parking lot to hop in Alex’s 2014, maroon Honda Civic Sedan.

“Bro I hate these leg days.” said Alex.

“Dude I know but we can’t have chicken legs.” said Pete.

“Yah but do we have to do lunges and squats though? I’m pretty sure leg press gets the job done.” said Alex.

“Aight fine I’ll take them out for now.” said Pete.

As they neared Alex’s car, furiously sizzling sparks, jolted and crackled through their entire beings. In a quarter blink, they lifted and smacked onto the pavement as if gravity vanished and came back tripled. They rolled onto their backs groaning, before gasping for more air. They slowly got their torsos upright and sat there. They looked at each other for a moment before Pete explosively hurled to the side while Alex turned away and heaved vomit. They tried to stand but ended up swaying and walking like two Bourbon Street bums.

“Duuude, what the hell.” said Pete breathing heavy and gripping his head, pressing his palms to his temples.

“See bro, we’ve been hitting them too hard,” said Alex with his hands on his knees.

“Definitely not the workout.” said Pete with a pained grin before his gaze trailed off.

“Then what?... Pete? Peter!?”

“Ay fuck if I know man. I mean just look around and tell me something isn’t off.”

Alex looked up and around and said, “Yooo wait, huuh? Bro, the sky is all green.”

“Yeah I know but I feel weird, like I don’t know how to explain it, my body, your body too, is all red and… it burns like a motherfucker but I still feel these chills dude.” said Pete.

They turned around to the gym and saw that the Youfit was now Ronny’s Lift House.

“No wayyy, did they drug the water or some shit?” said Alex.

Pete shrugged with his eyes still seeing stars.

“Bro I swear, if my car is gone…” said Alex.

“Dude, chill, let’s just check it out first.” said Pete.

“Bro I was literally parked like right there.” said Alex.

“Well, we’d be able to find it. I mean there’s hardly any cars around.” said Pete.

“No… this was the spot. Wait, what kind of car even is this!?”

“Oh shit, what the hell is an AXCwoH?” said Pete.

The black, exotic sports car was sleek and large with a premium metallic gloss coating and red racing stripes with black tinted windows. Its side windows connected to form one whole panel on each side.

“Dude I’ve never seen this brand in my life.” said Alex.

Pete chewed on his thumbnail and paused.

“Yo, I know how this sounds, but, just try it…” said Pete.

“No dude—”

Pete shot Alex an impatient look.

“Aight fuck it, we’re in a weird spot anyways and I guess we just gotta go with it.” said Alex.

Alex took a deep breath, slid the key port cover, and held out his keys only to find that the port was two protruding metal bumps.

“OH MY, where’s my fucking car!” said Alex, gripping his hair.

“Bro I know, like whose car even is this? Shit looks like it was imported from Dubai.”

“Yah whatever bro, screw this. For a second I was like ’you know what, maybe everything is altered, and we have no idea about anything, but hey, at least I get to drive this sick car now.’” said Alex.

“I mean yeah, it is a sick car. It’s like a Tesla Roadster and a Lambo had a baby.”

Alex sighed and said, “I know, I know. Look why don’t we just ask around and see how it goes.”

They looked forward and hesitantly walked toward the gym while fighting off the queasy dizziness, trying to hold in the few remnants of their lunch as their temperatures soared more and more. Pete paused and with sweat rolling down his forehead, pointed a shaky, sweat-glossed finger at a dark object on the ground. “Yo hold up, check this out.”

Alex looked over and his face grew perplexed, nodding with intrigue before zoning out with tired eyes.

“It doesn’t look like something you’d just find on the ground right?” asked Pete.

Alex slowly crouched and said, “Yeah no you’re right, it kind of looks like one of those big vape mods.”

Both their faces lit up before exclaiming “Yooooo!”

“Oh my God we’re saved. And I was just thinking about ripping my Juul too.” said Alex.

“Dude that’s because this might actually be it. Look, I’ve been trying to make sense of everything, and everything is kinda the same, but just a different version.” said Pete.

“You know, out of all the bullshit that’s happened, that almost sounds legit.”

Alex picked it up and while observing, said, “I don’t know man, we really don’t know 100%. This could just be something that looks like a vape and we don’t even know this place anymore or what’s in it.”

“Yah but look at it, how is it not a vape? It’s got the straw thing for your mouth, and it’s literally built like a mod.” said Pete.

“Yeah, but I can’t even read the words on the screen. This isn’t even English.” said Alex.

“So what, maybe some foreign dude was visiting and dropped it? Maybe it’s the way English is written here, I don’t know. Look dude, I need nic and honestly bro, this situation calls for not giving a single fuck because what else are we going to do? Like if this place was toxic for us, wouldn’t we be dead or suffocating or something? You know what, even if it was, what could we possibly do about it right now?”

Alex nodded with a grin and dapped him up.

“Aight but if it’s actually my Juul then I’m hitting it first.” said Alex before taking a small hit and holding it in.

Pete eyed the vape like a dog looking at its kibble being poured and said “And? How is it?”

Alex had an undecided look on his faced, followed by a raised eyebrow. His eyes then settled as if they were seated on a cushion. The color in his face came back in a flush of red, while a cool grin grew on his face. The fatigue and uncomfortable buzzing rapidly faded away and his eyebrows perked up. “Yoo Pete, hit this bro, you’ll feel like a human again.”

Pete inhaled for several seconds before blowing out yellow vapor.

“This is like nicotine on steroids, wow.” said Pete.


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