Control the Beat

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27 | Fuck It

“I’m really sorry May!” Kelly said for the one hundredth time.

“It’s fine Kelly! I’ll meet you in the park whenever I get home.” I tried to convince her. Kelly was supposed to be collecting me from camp today. But she had gotten a job interview, and had to ask my parents to send a car instead.

“Definitely!” She promised. “The car will probably be there at around two.”

I nodded to myself, forgetting that Kelly couldn’t see me. “Yep! I’ll text you when it comes.”

“Okay, I have to go in now. I love you! Bye!”

“Bye.” I whispered.

The phone went dead, and I threw it onto my bed. Shannon had left the cabin earlier so that she could go and start saying her goodbyes. I still had threes hours until I would be going home, and I wasn’t planning for a soppy or tearful goodbye.

I pulled my hair up into a pony tail, and made my way out of the cabin for the last time. My suitcase and guitar was already waiting up front with the campers packing. I turned around and smiled at the place that had been my bedroom for the whole summer. I was going to miss the comfy yet natural room. I headed towards the dining area where my friends were all sitting around their table, laughing and joking. “Oi you!” Shane shouted. “Where have you been?”

“In bed.” I chuckled. I sat down in my usual place beside Shane and put my head on his shoulder.

Melissa was muttering in her phone. After a few snarky remarks, curse words and insults, she slammed it onto the table in anger. “What’s up with you?” I laughed.

“My darling brother won’t be able to come and get me until like seven tonight! He’s busy with his stupid fling for the day!” She snapped.

I laughed, despite the pity I felt for her. “Everyone will be gone by seven.”

“I know! I’m going to be here, alone!” She growled in frustration.

I thought for a couple of seconds, before shrugging. “You can get a lift home with me.” I suggested, “I’ll drop you off at the park, you live close by there, right?”

Melissa nodded quietly, “Are you sure? Will there be enough room?”

“It’s me and my driver in one limo. I’ve enough room for dozens of people!”

She smiled, and reached across the table to give me a hug. “Thank you!” Grabbing her phone, she dialed in a number, and began to call and tell her brother that he wasn’t needed. Sibling love.

“Well we have a surprise for you.” Shane announced suddenly.

I narrowed my eyes. “A good surprise, or a bad one?”

“It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you!”

I groaned, and buried my face in my hands as Shane and Max snickered. “Okay come on!” Shannon called. I looked up to see her standing with a plastic bag, and a wide grin on her face.

“Come on!” Shane echoed, grabbing my hand and pulling me off the seat.

“Where?” I whined.

“You’ll see.” Melissa winked. I followed the group of idiots away from the dining area, and towards the camp exit.

“Where are we going?” I asked, confused.

Shannon pulled some cans out of the plastic bag, and waved them in my face. “Spray paint?”

“Yes! Spray paint!” Shannon repeated.

I gestured for them to explain. Shane rolled his eyes, “For you to paint you name on the wall.” He explained, as if he was talking to a two year old.

“Oh!” I replied with a crooked smile. “Seriously?”

“Yeah.” Everyone grinned. I grabbed a purple and green spray paint can, and looked for a spare space on the wall. “Here beside mine.” Shane pointed.

I pressed down on the top of the spray, and began to write my name with the purple spray can, in bubble writing. Once I finished that, I sprayed the green paint in the space of my writing, and decorated little stars around it.

“Done.” I smiled, admiring my work. I wasn’t the most artistic, but I was quite handy with a spray can. When you have a lot of enemies, and a lot of people to prank, sometimes you go for the most obvious pranks. For example, spray painting their name on the wall, the same wall where the idiots smoke. They got punished for ‘vandalizing school property’. It was good for them, they won’t be able to hide around there and ruin their health, no animals would be in danger from cigarette buds, the school got to punish someone and I got my revenge. Win, win, win… Win?

Shane cheered loudly along with Max and Cassie, while Shannon hugged me. “Now you are officially apart of the camp.”

“Wait! So I wasn’t officially apart of the camp when I gave in my ticket?” I mused.

Max waved my comment away. “Details, details!”

I laughed, and wrapped my arms around them, pulling them into a group hug. “Thank you guys. I’m serious, this was the best summer ever.”

“Of course it was!” Shane agreed. “I was there.”

I rolled my eyes, and punched him in the arm. “Well I think she had the best summer because she was with me!” Max argued.

“Please.” Shane gasped, “No one cares about you!”


I watched them as they argued back and front. “Well I personally think I had the best summer because of Cassie..” I gestured to the girl at my side. She burst out laughing and fist bumped me.

“Same May. Same.” She giggled.

A brand new car pulled up into the parking lot, and I noticed Shannon’s father in the driving seat. “He’s here early.” Shannon pouted.

My eyes widened when I realized she was going home. “No..” I whined. Shannon continued to pout and grabbed me in a bone crushing hug.

“I’m going to miss you so much.” She cried, tears began to form in her eyes. “We’ll talk everyday, and I’ll come down to visit you as much as I can, maybe at Christmas, and Halloween! And we can go shopping, and then you could come up to mine and go to the beach and-“

“Shannon!” I interrupted, “Breath. We’ll see each other soon, okay?”


“Don’t go all fault in our stars on me.”

Shannon snorted with laughter and finally released her hold on me. She wiped her eyes and smiled at me. “Bye guys. I’ll miss you loads!”

“Bye Shannon.” Josh hugged her, making me shoot him a dirty look.

“Bye Shan!” Shane called, along with Max and Melissa.

She waved goodbye one more time before skipping off to her dad and giving him a hug.

“I’m going to go for a walk.” I told Shane, and gave him a quick hug. “Just want to have a last look around before I go.”

He nodded, and kissed my cheek. I walked past the campers, saying a few goodbyes and shooting them small smiles. I headed towards the woods, now if you asked me why I was going to the woods, I wouldn’t have an answer for you. For some reason I just felt like it.

I approached the small clearing where I had sat with Chase. It was the exact same as it was two weeks before. The leaves were green, yet the blossom was beginning to fall to the ground. I sat down on the small stump, and peered into the distance. I reflected on the past few weeks that I had spent in the camp, the fun I had… Mr Williams’ death.

“Would you stop sitting in my seat?”

I rolled my eyes as soon as I heard his voice. “Would you stop breathing?”

“That was a little bit harsh, don’t you think?” Chase mused, taking a seat on the ground.

“I don’t care.”

He studied me carefully. “You don’t want to go home.”

“Is it that obvious?”

He smirked and nodded. “I hate home.” I grumbled. “I hate school.”

“Same, but on the plus side! You now have some idiots to text so you can bitch about your loving school mates.”

“That’s true.” I nodded.

I tilted my head to the side, and smiled at him. “How about you? Do you want to go home?”

“To see my darling step mother again? No thank you.” He grumbled. “But this year, I’m going to stay out of the way, maybe participate in school.”

“Maybe.” I chuckled.

“What about that guy, what’s his name? Marc?”

I groaned at the thought of going back home to it. “I’ll punch him again, and this time it’ll be so hard, that it will give him concussion or something, and then he might forget who I am, and voila. I’m free.”

Chase nodded along to my plan. “That could work!”

I beamed at his response. “I might actually have fun this year. You know? Just relax, have some fun, go to some parties, maybe meet some boys.”

Chase raised an eyebrow at that. “Well that sounds very interesting.”

“I might go completely off the rails! Wild child and all that.” I added. Chase was chuckling and shaking his head at me.

“What do you want May?” He asked, I looked at him in confusion. “Like what’s your dream?”

I shrugged, “I don’t have a dream. Actually I really want a puppy!”

Chase shot me a, I’m being freaking serious here look. I sighed, “I don’t have a dream Chase. I just want to go to college. College seems fun.”

“What do you want to do in college?”

“I don’t know. Music? Why are you asking all this?”

“I’m just curious!”

I rolled my eyes at his excuse. Closing my eyes, I leaned back on the stump until my head was on the ground, and I was using the tree’s stump as a leg rest, and began to sing.

“I was a little girl.
Alone in my little world,
who dreamed of a little home for me.

“I played pretend between the trees,
and fed my houseguests barks and leaves.
And laughed in my pretty bed of green.”

I opened my eyes and stared up into the trees, at the birds and the little pieces of blue sky I could see behind the branches.

“I had a dream.
That I could fly.
From the highest swing.
I had a dream.”

I jumped up from my uncomfortable position, and made my way over to Chase, who was sitting on the ground with his legs crossed. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, from behind, and continued to sing in his ear.

“Long walks in the dark.
Through woods grown behind the park,
I asked God who I’m supposed to be.
The stars smiled down on me,
God answered in silent reverie.
I said a prayer and fell asleep.”

I smirked as I felt him shiver slightly at my touch. Before I could continue, my phone rang. I grabbed it from my pocket and answered.

“May, your car is here. Well, more like your limos is here.” Josh told me. I thanked him quickly, before hanging up. I glanced at Chase, who was staring at me again. “Nice view?” I smirked.

He chortled and climbed to his feet, “Your car’s here?”

I nodded silently. He looked around awkwardly. “So I’ll see you, I guess?”

“Yeah..” I bit my lip. “Bye.”

“Bye.” He mumbled.

I turned around, and tried to hide the bubble of disappointment in my chest. What exactly did I expect? It’s not like we were together or anything? He was just Chase, a player. It was probably better if I didn’t get involved. He was-

“May wait!” An arm wrapped around my waist and I was spun around. I looked up at Chase. His eyes were wide and alarmed, shocked by his own actions. He seemed to be debating with himself. “Oh fuck it.” He muttered. He leaned forward and gently set his lips on mine. I kissed him lightly, my eyes fluttered closed. He pecked my lips again, before deepening the kiss. After a couple of moments, I pull back.

“Fuck it? Really, that’s what you say. How romantic.” I snorted.

“Shut up May.” He ordered, and kissed me again. I run my hands through his wavy brown hair, and smile into the kiss. Soon I started laughing. “You’re so demanding.”

He sighed in exasperation. “You’re so annoying!”

“I know.” I snickered.

He lay a kiss on my forehead, and sighed. “Don’t go too wild, will you?”

“I’ll try.” I feigned annoyance. He wrapped his arms around me and pull me into a hug, and buried his head in the crook of my neck.

“You better.”

My phone began to ring again, and we both groaned. “I’m regretting giving you that phone.” Chase grumbled. I laughed, and started to back away.

“Don’t miss me too much Batman.” I winked.

“I’ll try wifey.” He responded with a smirk.

“I thought we agreed on superman!” I pouted. He chuckled, and winked before walking off in the opposite direction. “Why can’t I just be superman?”

“I’m coming! I’m coming!” I grumbled. My friends were all standing around the car, waiting on me. I lifted my guitar and suitcase into the trunk.

“Take your time miss.” The limo driver smiled.

Cassie enveloped me in a hug. “We’ll see you next summer.” She promised, letting go.

I nodded, “Of course you will. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

One by one, my friends came over and quickly bid Melissa and I goodbye. “Do you forgive me?” Josh asked quietly. His eyes were pleading. I sighed but nodded. “Of course I do. You were one of my first friends.” I ruffled his hair.

Shane patted my head, teasingly. “Now don’t you be getting into anymore detentions, you hear?” He ordered, “You be a good little girl, and no more pulling pranks.”

“You do know you’re asking for a miracle, right?” I joked. He chuckled, and hugged me.

“Be careful.” He smiled, and I nodded. “Yes dad.”

“C’mon Melissa.” I smiled, “I’ve a load of shit to tell you on the way home.”

“Like what?”

“Like Corey asking me to ask you out?”

She choked with laughter as I climbed into the limo, closely followed by her snickering quietly. Once the door was shut, I opened the roof window, and popped my head out with Melissa.

“Bye guys!” I yelled, as the car started to drive. “So long! Farewell! I’ll see you.. All again? Wait is that the lyrics?” I asked Melissa.

She snorted, and shook her head. I frowned and tried to remember the lyrics to the sound of music song. “I can’t remember!” I shout again. “But bye!”

They waved like mad, and Max somehow tripped over his feet while attempting to run after the car. I was in hysterics laughing as I watched the camp disappear from my site. Melissa ducked back down into the car, but I stayed standing in the car, looking out the window.

“I’m ready now, I’m ready now. I’m ready now…To fly from the highest wing.” I whispered. “I had a dream.”

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