thiciati would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

The Reluctance of Mr. Delaney

By thiciati All Rights Reserved ©

Humor / Horror

Denial

There once was a long-time neighbor of mine by the name of Mr. Howard Delaney, who stood outside in his garden for hours on end in the pouring rain. There was no Mrs. Delaney to speak of; the man was a bachelor all his lifetime, never quite showing any interest in courtship and the like. I say was for the singular reason that the unusual habits of my neighbor indisposed him. That is to say, Mr. Delaney took gravely ill; gravely, indeed, for he passed on with a cold head gifted to him by a head cold.

I was distressed at the news of this, as you can imagine, having lived by the fellow for such a long while- most of my life, in fact- and was fully dreading the walk home from the burial. Such a cool autumn night it was, too, and I wrapped my coat about me tighter than normal, yet the forceful wind still snuck itself under it to chill me to the bone.

Shivering, saddened, and tired, I trudged until I came to the bend that would bring me to Mr. Delaney's former residence, and afterward, my own. I stopped in my heavy footsteps to stare a bit at the silent, brooding, empty shell that had housed Mr. Delaney, Mr. Delaney's father, Mr. Delaney's grandfather, and Mr. Delaney's great-grandfather, now without anyone to inhabit it due to the old bachelor's lack of a wife and therefore children. A tear fell about my cheek and I hastened to remove it, when suddenly a voice (that sounded in suspiciously good health) shouted, "Hullo there!"

I turned swiftly to the source. Imagine my surprise when I saw, sitting on the front steps beside the garden, Mr. Delaney himself, looking very much alive and well. Now, dear reader, do not think for a moment that I fainted from shock (though I very well wished to). Instead, I held up my hand to him and replied, "Hullo, Mr. Delaney. How do?"

"Oh, feeling fine, feeling fine!"

"Are you certain?"

"Why, I've never been better!" cried he, beating on his chest with a fist. "Why do you concern yourself with such questions?"

"Well-" I began, "Well- we just buried you in a rather fine wooden coffin: remarkable craftmanship, if I do say so myself."

"Buried?" guffawed the other. "Buried! You say I'm buried, but if I were to be in such a state, why would I be here?"

"That's what I was wondering."

Mr. Delaney floated up to the fence and rested his hands on one of the posts- rather, he tried, but didn't quite get them to stay, for the rascals refused to remain on top and were wont to go through it. He gave up this endeavor on the fourth try and stood with his hands in his pockets. "I'm as dead as that tree over there, and it's still thriving, as am I!" He jerked his head (which almost rolled off his neck) in the general direction of a gnarled, ancient tree that was blackened and seemed to intend malice for all who tried to remove it.

"If you say so."

"And I do!"

"I really must be going, Mr. Delaney. It was good seeing you."

"You as well!"

I entered my house pale as... well, Mr. Delaney.

Write a Review Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, thiciati
Continue Reading
Further Recommendations

VyaghriniLightning: I was soooo upset when the book ended! Pls do write more! I'm dying to know what happens next! I love the interaction between the characters. All of them are very intriguing. For being home-schooled and not having any friends other than furniture, Lexi seems to handle herself pretty well out ther...

Catherine Edward: I enjoyed reading this story very much. Thanks for sharing it here. It was well written with good descriptions.Rachel travels to the Black Forest Island for an archeological dig and soon finds her team mates missing. When all the puzzle pieces fall into place it was something they weren't prepare...

jacquelinedepedro: I can really see in my mind the small lake community, the colorful boats, the cottages, the lake, the tiny shops in town - an entire gamut of images made real to me by the author. I can feel how they feel, taste what they taste, smell what they smell - all marks of a good writer👍. A romantic at h...

TomWark: Good girl meets bad boy - a familiar genre but done in a highly original and believable way. Gripping from start to finish - one of those page-turners you don't want to 'put down' or turn away from. Enthralling. Lovely!

kerig89: Great book!

Marmar Sefen: It's just so amazing and I really loved it❤❤

Reanna Coombs: From beginning to end this book had me hooked, it remained me so much of myself lol.

Wxld_Xne: Idk what to write.Just read the story.

Ashlayyyy300: I love this book so much. Truly amazing story.

More Recommendations

Camille Nonan Talua: This book made me feel lots and lots of emotions. I wish there was more

jjenaye: Love love love

_B1ankFac3_: The story is good and I’ll continue reading it, but it does requires a little editing. Some parts doesn’t add up to the current situation, other parts shouldn’t even be in that current situation. May I suggest using google or auto-correct to help with a word if you don’t know how to spell it?

KittyLove: I am so happy I found this book. It's interesting, romantic, and really shows how life can turn around for someone, with the right people in your life. I was hooked from the beginning. And the whole way through the writer kept it interesting. No time without something to look forward to. I'm rea...

{{ contest.story_page_sticky_bar_text }} Be the first to recommend this story.

About Us:

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.