Get Free Copy

100 free copies left

This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.

0
Free copy left
You can read our best books
thiciati would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

The Reluctance of Mr. Delaney

By thiciati All Rights Reserved ©

Horror / Humor

Denial

There once was a long-time neighbor of mine by the name of Mr. Howard Delaney, who stood outside in his garden for hours on end in the pouring rain. There was no Mrs. Delaney to speak of; the man was a bachelor all his lifetime, never quite showing any interest in courtship and the like. I say was for the singular reason that the unusual habits of my neighbor indisposed him. That is to say, Mr. Delaney took gravely ill; gravely, indeed, for he passed on with a cold head gifted to him by a head cold.

I was distressed at the news of this, as you can imagine, having lived by the fellow for such a long while- most of my life, in fact- and was fully dreading the walk home from the burial. Such a cool autumn night it was, too, and I wrapped my coat about me tighter than normal, yet the forceful wind still snuck itself under it to chill me to the bone. 

Shivering, saddened, and tired, I trudged until I came to the bend that would bring me to Mr. Delaney's former residence, and afterward, my own. I stopped in my heavy footsteps to stare a bit at the silent, brooding, empty shell that had housed Mr. Delaney, Mr. Delaney's father, Mr. Delaney's grandfather, and Mr. Delaney's great-grandfather, now without anyone to inhabit it due to the old bachelor's lack of a wife and therefore children. A tear fell about my cheek and I hastened to remove it, when suddenly a voice (that sounded in suspiciously good health) shouted, "Hullo there!"

I turned swiftly to the source. Imagine my surprise when I saw, sitting on the front steps beside the garden, Mr. Delaney himself, looking very much alive and well. Now, dear reader, do not think for a moment that I fainted from shock (though I very well wished to). Instead, I held up my hand to him and replied, "Hullo, Mr. Delaney. How do?"

"Oh, feeling fine, feeling fine!"

"Are you certain?"

"Why, I've never been better!" cried he, beating on his chest with a fist. "Why do you concern yourself with such questions?"

"Well-" I began, "Well- we just buried you in a rather fine wooden coffin: remarkable craftmanship, if I do say so myself."

"Buried?" guffawed the other. "Buried! You say I'm buried, but if I were to be in such a state, why would I be here?"

"That's what I was wondering."

Mr. Delaney floated up to the fence and rested his hands on one of the posts- rather, he tried, but didn't quite get them to stay, for the rascals refused to remain on top and were wont to go through it. He gave up this endeavor on the fourth try and stood with his hands in his pockets. "I'm as dead as that tree over there, and it's still thriving, as am I!" He jerked his head (which almost rolled off his neck) in the general direction of a gnarled, ancient tree that was blackened and seemed to intend malice for all who tried to remove it.

"If you say so."

"And I do!"

"I really must be going, Mr. Delaney. It was good seeing you."

"You as well!"

I entered my house pale as... well, Mr. Delaney.

Write a Review Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, thiciati
Continue Reading
Further Recommendations

Ruby0h: Overall I thought your story was really good! It drew me in right away and kept me interested as the story progressed. I loved the character of Kayla being inserted into this story, and the way she affected and shaped the life of the original story into something totally new and interesting. I lo...

ianwatson: The comedy is original and genuinely funny, I have laughed out loud many times reading this book. But the story and the plot are also really engaging. The opening two or three chapters seem quite character-dense but they all soon come to life and there is no padding, filling or wasted time readin...

lopezmariana97: I loved everything about this book. I read it in a weekend because it was so hard to put down. I real liked that it wasn't a typical demon story and that It didn't involve vampires. I pictured the cast for this book if it ever becomes a movie. 100% love

Bri Hoffer: I couldn't put it down!! The characters are all incredibly likable, and it's so descriptive you can see, smell, and feel thier surroundings. Great story, and very well written. I cannot wait for follow up stories. there were a few grammatical errors, but nothing that I could move right over.

Marimar Amieva: Although I found the vampire thing a bit too much, I couldn't stop reading it. The story had a bit of everything: mystery, romance, a huge plot twist and relatable characters. I congratulate the author for this story and hope to read more of whatever he writes.

romboili000: No a fence to the people who wrote those reviews but u are being to judgmental for a few silly little mistakes anyway I really like your story maybe go back and try to fix those mistakes but also please do not give up I really liked your story. And I know you can get far with it so yeah.

veeranng: This has become one of my best novels of all time...This story has the right amount of humour...I was hooked to it from the start and i was not able to keep my phone down for like entire 4 hours...The characters are all so adorable and relatable...The plot and the dialogues are just fantastic...I...

Emperor2000: I joined Inkitt and downloaded this book following a friend who has been on here sometime recommending it. After they spoke about it a bit, I thought why not give it a go. Initially I only expected to read a few chapters, as I have little time to spend reading (not as much as I like). However I c...

Jasmine Chow: As I read this story, I was reminded some what of Terry Pratchett, especially some descriptions of politics and economics. The sci-fic setting is quite intriguing. Writing style is quite lovely and grew on me slowly. I was also slightly reminded of Mark Twain, especially his book A Connecticut Ya...

More Recommendations

C.K. Bachman: Just read the first chapter. Love how the main character thinks and is conflicted over his wife and the trickery he uses on her.

Toria Davis: To say this book was amazing would be an understatement. I am absolutely in love with Rye and Thera. I believe that the author did awesome with this book. The funny thing was that I wanted to do this, but remember " You have a boyfriend, idiot." Thanks for the experience of these amazing writing ...

noelia herrera: I could not stop reading this book. it was truly great and it caught my attention quick. there was some misspelled words and some misplaced. but overall, IT WAS FANTASTIC! great job. I recommended this book to all my family and friends.

Deleted User: (A review in progress). I like this. It's sparse, gritty and atmospheric - reminiscent of the classic Golden Age of American detective fiction of the Thirties. I've only read the beginning, but I'll definitely be back. This writer knows their stuff and has done their homework on detective work. T...

Kim Walker: The characters in this book was very well developed. It is very evident that the writer put q lot of thought and effort into his work. I thoroughly enjoyed it! The way he described the scenes, the plot, the setting is absolutely remarkable. Two thumbs up!