I hate insects puns, they really bug me
“I’ve always wanted to meet a stupid person,” Connor stated aloud, as we all walked through the woods.
It was midnight and Connor had this cool idea so we all went over to his house only to find out that we had to walk through a haunted forest so we could tick it off his bucket list.
“Well, no stupid people here,” Layla said, resting her head on Connor’s shoulder.
“Oh My God, I see a shadow!” I shrieked, waving my hands in the air.
“Yeah, it’s yours,” Alyssa deadpanned.
“I hope there are no werewolves out here,” Layla said, timidly.
“Yeah, I don’t want to find a mate out here,” I said.
Everyone stopped and looked at me.
“You’ve been reading too many werewolf stories,” Alyssa chuckled.
“Well, excuse you,” I said, resting a hand over my heart, mocking hurt.
“BOO!” A voice yelled in my ear. I screamed falling in the floor.
“AAAAAAAAAH!” I yelled to the figure.
“AAAAAAAAAH!” The figure replied.
“AAAAAAAAAAAH!” I said again.
“AAAAAAAAAAH!” It replied again.
I stopped laughing, abruptly. “Okay, let’s stop now,”
“AAAAAA-oh okay,” the figure said.
We stepped into some light and Derek’s face was visible.
“It’s just you,” I grumbled.
“What’s wrong with me?” Derek asked.
“I was expecting a werewolf mate,” I groaned.
“Why would you want a werewolf when you got this sexy beast,” he said, pointing at his body.
All of a sudden, three other figures emerged from the bushes.
“AAAAAAAAH! There are more werewolves!” I shrieked, running around in circles.
“Hey! I’m not a werewolf!” a familiar voice whined.
“Logan?” I said, stopping in my steps.
“Hey, baby,” he grinned.
Ethan followed him and gave me a stiff nod. Jackson followed after with his hands stuffed in his pockets. He looked up and gave me a hard glare.
“You four followed us!?” I said.
“Three of us, actually, Jackson wasn’t so keen on stalking you,” Logan grinned.
“Oh well, makes sense,” I shrugged.
“I’ve got some lemonade in my purse,” Derek said, pulling out a pink, fluffy purse.
“Nice purse,” Alyssa commented.
“You betcha,” he grinned, looking up at Alyssa.
“Whatever, you retard,”
“How did 2 litres of lemonade fit in that purse?” Layla asked, with furrowed brows.
“The same way my big dick fit in Freya’s vagina,” he smirked.
I scrunched up my face in disgust. “Man whore,” I coughed aloud.
“There’s a bug on your back,” Connor said to me, examining my shoulder.
“AAAAAAAAAAAH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET THE DARN THING OFF!” I shrieked for the millionth time today.
“Wait, it’s not a fly,” Connor said, flicking the insect off my back.
“Was it a mite?”
“Mite be,” he grinned.
“I hate insect puns, they really bug me,” I groaned.
“That was an insect pun though,” Connor asked, confused.
“No shit, Sherlock,” Alyssa said, hitting the back of Connor’s head.
“I’m horny,” Derek groaned. Everyone’s attention went to the bump in Derek’s pants.
“How many horns do you have?” I asked.
“Are they on your head? Are they pointy?”
“Do you look like Satan?”
“Are you horny?”
“I don’t have horns so no,”
“Anyway, Charlotte can I borrow your history homework,” Connor cut in.
“Err...you don’t plan on passing this class, do you?” I said.
“Ugh, forget it,”
All of a sudden, a hoot came from the trees.
“What was that?” I asked, stammering.
“Its just an owl, Charlotte, calm down,” Layla said.
“Calm down!? Telling me to calm down is like trying to baptize a cat.”
“True,” Layla grinned.
“Here’s ya lemonade,” Derek said, handing over a cup of lemonade.
Who in their right mind would bring along lemonade and plastic cups to a forest at midnight?
Oh right, Derek’s never in his right mind.
I took a sip of lemonade before another hoot came from the trees. I jumped up as a reflex action and my drink fell out of my hands, spilling over someone’s t-shirt.
I closed my eyes and opened then, to reveal a fuming Jackson with a lemonade stain right down his shirt.
Why does this always happen to me?
Jackson leapt forward and grabbed my neck.He pulled me up so I was at his eyes and I stared into his electric green eyes.
“Hi,” I croaked out.
“If I fucked your mom, would we be enemies?” Derek asked, quickly.
Jackson turned his burning gaze away from me and onto Derek. “No,”
“Would we be friends?”
“Then what?” Derek asked, confused.
“We would be even,” he smiled, fakely.
“Erm, mind letting go of me?” I asked, nervously. His grip was hella strong.
“Bitch,” he hissed, before letting go off me, allowing me to drop on the floor.
“Ouch, I think I broke my ass,” I groaned, rubbing my butt with my hand
“Charlotte has the square root of 130321 watermelons in her hand. How many does she have?” Mr Hard, out math teacher said.
Everyone turned to me.
“That’s right bitches! I have 361 watermelons in my hand!” I yelled.
“Detention, Miss Ridgewood,” Mr Hard said.
I snapped my head up to him so quickly I must have gotten whiplash. “Excuse me?”
“The place where stupid ass teenagers go when they question their teacher’s decision,”
I got up and grabbed my things. “You will regret this, Mr Hard!”
“No, I’ll be more happier than I was when I finished watching that Harry Potter movie I was forced to watch,”
“Muggle,” I hissed.
“Move, quickly!” He said.
“That what she said,” Derek grinned, taking my side.
“She also said that,” Derek smirked.
And then we ran off because the vein on Mr Hard’s forehead looked like it was about to pop.
We reached the detention room and I froze in my steps.
I’ve never been to detention before.
It’s like, it’s like, it’s like my great grandma’s mansion.
“I’m not going in there,” I said.
“Come on,” Derek tugged my arm. “It’s okay,”
“No, it isn’t! I can just imma gone the scenario in my head!”
*WIERD SCENARIO IN CHARLOTTE’S HEAD**
“It’s my first interview for the job! I’m so excited,” I smile widely as I open the door to the hospital.
I walk over to the desk, where a unbothered lady sits holding files.
“Hello!” I grin at her.
She looks up at me and rolls her eyes.
“I’m here for an interview!”
“Last door on your right,” she drones on.
I skip merrily t wards the door and enter. There is a young lady holding a file on her hand.
“Are you Charlotte Ridgewood?”
“Your father is exceeding in business,”
“Why do you want this job?”
“Because I want to have a life,” I smile.
“Yes, I am lacking a life,”
“You’ve got the job, hobo!”
Suddenly the door is slammed open and Mr Hard walks in holding a file.
“Oh no she doesn’t!” He croaks.
“Why not?” The lady asks.
“She got a detention!”
“Yes! In her senior year!”
“This isn’t true!” I wail.
“I’m sorry, Miss Ridgewood, but people with detention are banned from having a life. Sorry, go back to your non-existent life,”
*END OF WEIRD SCENARIO IN CHARLOTTE’S HEAD**
Huh, that wasn’t as bad as I expected.
“Still not going in there,”
“Fine. But you’ll regret it. We get to have ice cream,”
“Whatever, I’m not going in there. And the day I do will be the day I die! I will never step in that hell hole,”
“If you say so,” Derek grinned, entering the room.
I will never enter that room.