All Rights Reserved ©


Looking southeast from Junction Road 26, in Morrow County, Ohio; is where you'll find Bob and his wife Paige on the porch of their farmhouse overlooking a cornfield. Flash Fiction - Redneck humor. "Hey, ya'll! Watch this!" A universal warning that something is going to go very, very wrong.

Humor / Scifi
Rey Alicea
3.0 1 review
Age Rating:


“Crops doin’ well,” said Paige looking over their corn field from the porch of their house southeast of Junction Road 26 in Morrow County, Ohio. “A-yep,” replied her husband, Bob, shifting a straw between his lips from left to right and back again. A murder of crows erupts center field and scatter in all directions followed then by a blast and a towering flame speeding off. The blast knocks Bob’s hat off and leaves them both looking skyward.

“Well, lookee here,” said Paige, “what be that a-flyin’ outta the cornfield?” “Don’t reckon ah rightly know,” said Bob. “Reckon it looks like one o’them thar nuke-lee-are miss-iles,” dusting off his hat and setting it back on his head. And then replacing the straw with a chaw of tobacco and checking his watch. “Well I reckon,” he said, “It be time to fire up the grill. Call my sister. And get out them cold beers.”

And like a groundhog, the tip of another missile pokes its head out of the hidden silo.

Amidst the smell of meat over Kingsford charcoal burning on a Weber grill and the roar of missiles launching compete with a cacophony of voices chewing the fat.

“So,” says Bob, turning over a burger, “I’m having a BQ one day –it’s got to be some 30 years now, and my buddy Billy comes up to me ...”

“Any of you keepin’ count?”
“Eleven by my last count ...”

“... He’s the 20-year live-in boyfriend of Beth, the town Jezebel and first lady. She was friends with my younger sister Betsy and Betsy was friends with Billy’s sister, Paige, my wife…” He flips another burger.

“Nope, it’s 13, I got here earlier ...”
“Yep. I counted 13...”

“... And Billy, the pyromaniac, puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out what looks like a silver M-80, an’ he says ‘Bob, d’you know what this is?’ I says ‘An M-80?’ an’ he says, ‘Nope. I made it. It’s better than an M-80.’ So I says ‘What can it do?’ Billy says, ‘It goes bang real loud. Let’s set one off.’ So I says to Billy, ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea Billy on account of all those attending the BBQ might not approve.’ Walkin’ away, Billy says, ‘I’m gonna light it anyways.’”

“Any of you know what kind ...”
“Reckon they could be IC-Bee-Ems, or L-Gee-Ems or MI-Ar-Vees...”

Tsst! Goes a can of ice-cold Pabst Blue Ribbon as Bob takes a swig and says ... “minutes later we all hear a loud bang. That’s when Billy shows up covered in feathers and his eyebrows missing, and he says, ‘Bob, sorry about your chickens.’ I must say Billy had this town thinking he was crazy. But he made out real good in the end. Movin’ on up to President of these here United States.”

“Hey, Bob. Guys. Well Lookee thar. Why’s that one comin’ our way?”

Continue Reading
Further Recommendations

Stephanie Brown: Absolutely amazing short story completely loved it 😊

Keila: So far it's intriguing, keeps me wanting to read more

Leona: Very good read

LJ Cupido: I love the flow of the story and the fact that it does not drag along

Samaa: It's a really good book so far but it's really sad when the cop comes to her door 🥺🥺

Margaret Bulmer: It’s interesting.

irjur: Great book!!! Like the main character personality and Max is so charming. Like when people know exactly what they want and not afraid to get it no matter what

Jessica: Five stars all the way. This story was so lovely and tender. It touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes on a few occasions. It also made me laugh and gave me all-around happy feelings. Thank you for this gem Linzvonc! You've done it again.

Syuha Rosly: This is a great story took place in the olden times. The writing style is in keeping to the overall setting which makes it even more interesting. I am not an expert in old english literatures but I feel as though there's some grammatical errors here and there. I love the plot development, there's...

More Recommendations

Tania Mee: The movie is excellent but sad at the same time it's true love it made me cry I want them to have their baby get married and live happily ever after .I don't want the guy to die and leave them they make a perfect match for each other .

JacquelineS: I enjoyed the storyline and the development of love between the two main characters. There were some opportunities to develop the characters as a recommendation for future writings. It is a cute love story and worth the read.

lisamariedent: Great storyline and great characters

Geanina: Sweet story, love it

Elaine June Creech: I loved it & can't wait to read about Victoria

neha: I really like the story ,the idea was amazing . The plot and characters were amazing

About Us

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered publisher, providing a platform to discover hidden talents and turn them into globally successful authors. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books our readers love most on our sister app, GALATEA and other formats.