The Order of the Cloud-Thing

By itsnotnatural All Rights Reserved ©

Humor / Horror

Short Story

It was hungry once again. If it had a stomach, it would be turning in on itself at the moment, trying to find some kind of nourishment. "Mortals again" it thought in a profoundly blase way. It could not help but think that for its entire existence, all it did was eat and eat and eat. It could sleep if it wanted to, but it was always interrupted by hunger. At least it had Ialdagorth.

"Famished again, I presume?" he inquired, taking note of his partner's rumblings about mortals. "Well, you are not the only one. How about we go somewhere to eat?" He had just asked it out on a date and was delighted when it excitedly said yes. "Good. Good. Where do you want to go?"

He was less than happy with the response since he wanted to go somewhere that was calming and which would allow him to act a little more naturally around his partner. It wanted to go to that fast food joint at the corner of Vxuyt'nn Crossway and Erl'Iuyt Avenue in Dylath-Leen. "Alright, fair enough" he sighed.

"So, do you have any plans after we eat or anything like that?" he asked. "It shook from side to side, signaling a no. "Okay, why don't we go back to your place and we'll-"

"RING RING! RING! RING!" "What the hell is that?!" Ialdagorth exclaimed. "Yeah sorry, had to get your attention." A voice that came from both inside and outside of Ialdagorth's mind from all directions at once communicated. "I need you to come back to the palace." The voice announced. "Why?!" Ialdagorth exclaimed. "I'll tell you when you get back here."

"Dammit. Sorry, I'm not going to be able to accompany you during your dinner tonight. I've got to get back to that blind freaking idiot, Azathoth (I heard that!) and do whatever he wants me to do this time.

"Bye" it said. "See you" he replied before vanishing from the street.

Just like the rest of the city, the building was completely made out of basalt and was firmly attached to the buildings on either side of it. A little wooden sign fitted on the top of the entrance with Anaideia's scratched in marked the only way of knowing which building to go to.

It glided in, and a moon-beast immediately accosted it from behind the counter in the back. "What are you doing? How was your day? You look lovely. Nice night we're having. Blah blah-blah blah blah..." "Yes, I would like some fries, please." "Um, will that be all? For sure? Absolutely? Are you-" "No... maybe ketchup, probably some salt and vinegar too." "Hooray! Now to get those fries!"

The moon-beast ripped open a bag of frozen fries that were so fresh, they were still alive! The skins had a layer of ice upon them and were a bit blackened in places due to frostbite. The fries were shivering, huddling together, trying their best to regain their warmth, so the frost on their nude bodies would eventually melt away. It was not to be.

The moon-beast approached the deep-fryer with the frozen bag and turned it upside down. The poor little fries could do nothing but tumble out of the open bag and splash into the seething, bubbling oil and try to escape as they writhed around in miserable agony, letting out an inhuman cacophony of harrowing screams and terrified wailing as their skin sloughed off and their insides steamed.

Five minutes later, the moon-beast delivered the fries to it on a little plate and as it floated over to the nearest table, the moon-beast walked back over to the now cool deep-fryer and dipped it's finger in. It put the finger to the tongue and tasted the smooth metallic flavor of the mahogany-colored oil and went for a few more tastes; the oil had a nice flavor to it that could be used for later.

At the table, it opened a salt packet. Believe it or not, some fries were still alive at this time despite what they went through; they were still clinging to life, still trying to survive. How incredible! How resilient! What willpower and strength they had! Unfortunately, they would soon wish they were already dead.

The salt, wasn't bad as it simply cleaned and dried their one large wound and would only hurt in a truly extreme manner if it was rubbed in. Vinegar was another matter. It poured vinegar all over the fries and the fries weakly screamed in unimaginable pain as the acetic acid stung them all over. They shuddered as the vinegar and partly dissolved salt were rubbed into them by it and passed out for the final time.

It stuffed itself with the fries, quickly absorbing the broken bodies into itself before floating out the door and back onto the street.

It hoped it would be able to get back home before the hunger set back in again, it's more difficult to control with no one around. It wished Ialdagorth was still here and not in the palace. It loved him, if only it could tell him...

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