Chapter 1
Köflõяtæț dipped his Markovian chook foot in a cup of Blüvøkean blood-sauce and stirred the limb about as he recalled with great relish the pathetic creature’s pleas for mercy before he removed its three most important heads, ending its short life. He then placed the chookfoot into his mouth and devoured it after chewing loudly before turning to face his master.
“What hast thou called me here for, Master?” asked Köflõяtæț.
The master was an ancient man, whose appearance placed his age somewhere in the upper 500s or so, and spoke with a raspy, deteriorating voice that produced small puffs of dust as his mouth had stopped producing saliva centuries ago.
“We have finally located the last living heir of the Intergalactic Dynasty, Köflõяtæț,” said the ancient man.
“Who is he?” asked Köflõяtæț. “What is his name? Where does he reside?”
“It is not a he, Köflõяtæț,” said the living-fossil-man, “but a she; a female. She belongs to a gender-binary race that inhabits the third planet from an average-sized star on the edge of the Milky Way Galaxy. She lives on a long, thin landmass, approximately halfway between the planet’s equator and northern pole.”
“I see,” said Köflõяtæț. “No matter; in its heyday, our empire had plenty of great warrior queens. What is her name, Master?”
“Her name,” said the man, pieces of him crumbling off due to his inconceivably old age, “is very strange to us… as it… follows local naming conventions. Her name is Vivian Clemmons, and she can be found at these coordinates:”
On the screen came an image of a pretty teenage girl with lush, curly blonde hair and distinct teardrop-shaped bright blue eyes who was wearing a pink floral dress and a pleasant smile. The name Vivian Clemmons appeared below her, and the coordinates 42.984385,-81.246643 appeared below her name. Köflõяtæț looked intently at the screen.
“Yes…” he said to himself. “This young female shall return us to our former glory!! I am on my way, Master.”
“Do work, Köflõяtæț,” said the moldering Master, “do work.”
