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Autobiography for Dummies, aka Writing About Nothing

By Mr. W. Cat All Rights Reserved ©

Other / Humor

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Saturday, December 15, 2012 / Sunday, December 16, 2012 – On Monologues and Paragraphs… and Titles too, you know?

I haven't written anything in a while, you know? Things always seem to get in the way. Still, it's good to try and write something every now and then, if only to not lose practice.

But still, it's extremely hard to get inspiration to write in a whim, especially if one hasn't written in some time. I would say I'm being creative, writing about having nothing to write, but it's actually quite the opposite.

Let's face it: whenever a writer suffers from writer's block, but still wants to write something, he writes about exactly that block. It's more of a writer's fixation, if you ask me.

And now I feel like I'm writing a comedic monologue. Yes, I am (or try to be, I'll let the reader decide) a comedy writer, but still… I can write without humor if I want to, right? The sad, sad truth is that I can't. But not because lack of trying, mind you, but because my humor is so formal, so subtle, it actually looks like there's no humor at all! Astounding!

And I finally finished a real paragraph, with more than a couple of sentences and all (depending on your monitor and resolution, it may look like the preceding paragraph is no more than one or two lines long. If that's the case, please resize your browser window so you can witness the true longness (yes, I just invented a word, and yes, I just put a pair of parentheses inside another pair of parentheses. Yay me! Also, I'm kind of breaking several grammatical, orthographical, and who-knows-what-else rules. Kids, don't do this at home) of said preceding paragraph. My ego will forever thank you. On the other hand, if you are reading this on a smartphone, this may be a little hard to read, you would be better using a tablet)!

Now I wonder, is the preceding paragraph a single line long, or several? That's supposing it CAN be consider a paragraph, what with the extremely long note inside the parenthesis and all.

Also, it seems that the theme for these ramblings is paragraphs. And monologues, since that's what brought the paragraphs into account. Let me add that into the title… and there! Now we have a title! But, I'm thinking about making something akin to a series. I mean, if this is to be used for writing practice, it must happen neither once, nor twice, but plenty of times! What can I do?

I know! I can add a nice series title, something funny but explicit, like "The Naked Ideas" or "Late Night with Mr. W. Cat", or something like that. Or "Autobiography for Dummies"! I like that one, it's explicit yet the reader must relate it to the text themselves, it's funny and silly, and I also have no idea how it came to be but like it very much. And, most importantly, I can think of nothing better.

So, it seems "Titles" has also become a theme for today. Let me add it into the title… there! It's done. Today's ramblings will be about monologues and paragraphs… and titles too, you know? Oh, I'm so happy since I found today's theme so early, at… wait a minute! It's past midnight! I have to fix the title!

Ok, that's done, let's move on with this before something else comes by and makes me change the title again. Like kittens. Kittens are cute; they can make a perfect theme of conversation, just like hummingbirds, baby cougars, and potatoes. I like potatoes; they make cute squishy sounds when they are smashed. I also like baby tigers, pumpkins, lists and semicolons; let's add those too! Oh, and the word "too", too! And… and… and "and", and baby panthers, and hyenas because of their constant laughing, and also comedians, to make everything come round to the beginning (because I began with monologues). So…


Saturday, December 15, 2012 / Sunday, December 16, 2012 – On Monologues and Paragraphs… and Titles too, you know? Oh, and Kittens, Hummingbirds, Baby Cougars, Potatoes and Squishy Sounds. And Baby Tigers, Pumpkins, Lists and Semicolons too. And also the word Too, the word And, Baby Panthers and Hyenas because of their constant laughing. And finally Comedians, to make everything come round. And Worth. And Journeys.

That's quite the title. It'll take some time to write this, but I'll make it worthy (actually, let's add worth there as well!), I promise. Just bear with me, as we begin this journey (let's add journeys!) through… wait, what do you mean "it's late"? There's no more time since it's two in the morning and I need to go to sleep? Oh, well, I was bored with this anyway.


The "Saturday, December 15, 2012" was supposed to be struck out, but Inkitt doesn't have that function and / or I can't find it. Use your imagination!

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