Get Free Copy

100 free copies left

This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.

0
Free copy left
You can read our best books
Mr. W. Cat would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

Autobiography for Dummies, aka Writing About Nothing

By Mr. W. Cat All Rights Reserved ©

Other / Humor

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Saturday, December 15, 2012 / Sunday, December 16, 2012 – On Monologues and Paragraphs… and Titles too, you know?

I haven't written anything in a while, you know? Things always seem to get in the way. Still, it's good to try and write something every now and then, if only to not lose practice.

But still, it's extremely hard to get inspiration to write in a whim, especially if one hasn't written in some time. I would say I'm being creative, writing about having nothing to write, but it's actually quite the opposite.

Let's face it: whenever a writer suffers from writer's block, but still wants to write something, he writes about exactly that block. It's more of a writer's fixation, if you ask me.

And now I feel like I'm writing a comedic monologue. Yes, I am (or try to be, I'll let the reader decide) a comedy writer, but still… I can write without humor if I want to, right? The sad, sad truth is that I can't. But not because lack of trying, mind you, but because my humor is so formal, so subtle, it actually looks like there's no humor at all! Astounding!

And I finally finished a real paragraph, with more than a couple of sentences and all (depending on your monitor and resolution, it may look like the preceding paragraph is no more than one or two lines long. If that's the case, please resize your browser window so you can witness the true longness (yes, I just invented a word, and yes, I just put a pair of parentheses inside another pair of parentheses. Yay me! Also, I'm kind of breaking several grammatical, orthographical, and who-knows-what-else rules. Kids, don't do this at home) of said preceding paragraph. My ego will forever thank you. On the other hand, if you are reading this on a smartphone, this may be a little hard to read, you would be better using a tablet)!

Now I wonder, is the preceding paragraph a single line long, or several? That's supposing it CAN be consider a paragraph, what with the extremely long note inside the parenthesis and all.

Also, it seems that the theme for these ramblings is paragraphs. And monologues, since that's what brought the paragraphs into account. Let me add that into the title… and there! Now we have a title! But, I'm thinking about making something akin to a series. I mean, if this is to be used for writing practice, it must happen neither once, nor twice, but plenty of times! What can I do?

I know! I can add a nice series title, something funny but explicit, like "The Naked Ideas" or "Late Night with Mr. W. Cat", or something like that. Or "Autobiography for Dummies"! I like that one, it's explicit yet the reader must relate it to the text themselves, it's funny and silly, and I also have no idea how it came to be but like it very much. And, most importantly, I can think of nothing better.

So, it seems "Titles" has also become a theme for today. Let me add it into the title… there! It's done. Today's ramblings will be about monologues and paragraphs… and titles too, you know? Oh, I'm so happy since I found today's theme so early, at… wait a minute! It's past midnight! I have to fix the title!

Ok, that's done, let's move on with this before something else comes by and makes me change the title again. Like kittens. Kittens are cute; they can make a perfect theme of conversation, just like hummingbirds, baby cougars, and potatoes. I like potatoes; they make cute squishy sounds when they are smashed. I also like baby tigers, pumpkins, lists and semicolons; let's add those too! Oh, and the word "too", too! And… and… and "and", and baby panthers, and hyenas because of their constant laughing, and also comedians, to make everything come round to the beginning (because I began with monologues). So…


Saturday, December 15, 2012 / Sunday, December 16, 2012 – On Monologues and Paragraphs… and Titles too, you know? Oh, and Kittens, Hummingbirds, Baby Cougars, Potatoes and Squishy Sounds. And Baby Tigers, Pumpkins, Lists and Semicolons too. And also the word Too, the word And, Baby Panthers and Hyenas because of their constant laughing. And finally Comedians, to make everything come round. And Worth. And Journeys.

That's quite the title. It'll take some time to write this, but I'll make it worthy (actually, let's add worth there as well!), I promise. Just bear with me, as we begin this journey (let's add journeys!) through… wait, what do you mean "it's late"? There's no more time since it's two in the morning and I need to go to sleep? Oh, well, I was bored with this anyway.


The "Saturday, December 15, 2012" was supposed to be struck out, but Inkitt doesn't have that function and / or I can't find it. Use your imagination!

Write a Review Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, Mr. W. Cat
Continue Reading
Further Recommendations

ank1983: I really enjoyed this story and I read through it quickly. I found it very entertaining and some of your scenes were very well written and descriptive. Every time a chapter ended I couldn't wait to start the next chapter. What girl hasn't fantasized over a cute teacher at school?! The story did...

Sammi Chan: THIS WAS AMAZING!!! My favorite part of this story was the slow build of Merlin and Arthur's relationship. Their relationship was rlly nicely fleshed out and so good :) The way that you handled the magic reveal was super enjoyable. I rlly liked the switching POVs. Good!Mordred was cute and I'm rl...

dd1226: I love reading about other countries and I think this story about Cambodia after Polpot creates awareness of the tragedy that happened there and the actions of the U.N. to hold elections. The heroine of the story is easy to relate to, a modern, middleaged woman looking for an adventure, wanting t...

sibyleisley: Right away, I was charmed by the characters in Nothing Between Us. Bella is fun to follow and SO easy to relate to, and Jace is the guy that you could spend 24/7 with and not get sick of him. And together, they're adorable and so right for each other. The writer did such a great job making me car...

Alex Rushmer: I just want to say that the writing in this is amazing! I read the first couple chapters and was absolutely drawn in by it, The way you use first person in this story is extremely engaging and does wonders with your character development. I immediately had a picture of the characters and plotline...

summerstone: Seriously this is one of the best books I've ever read. The plot is intriguing, I love the narrative style. Its very descriptive and unique, with minimal cliches. It makes for a great read and the sequels are amazing. Totally worth reading. ^^ That's me trying to be professional. But in all hones...

Sinhala-Kella (aka Scandal Mania): Hey Fazio, I LOVED your story! The bus - I don't watch Grey's but that was vividly shocking! And the last paragraph where you said April was engaged to one man but rushed in to save another. It was sooo cute the way Jackson won April back - there were so many lovely bits - 'Shonda' (LOL!).You nee...

Angel S. Adames Corraliza: Sensational! As a fan of superheroes, I have to say, you have a real winner of a story so far. I like that you made Allison a Wonder Woman expy, but kept her likable and relate-able in this first chapter. You showed us the Mother while also glancing at the Superhero, which I think is important to...

: Nothing like I have ever read. Loved every single bit of it, it had the right amount of romance and humour. I would definitely be re-reading this book. It certainly captivated me, it was so difficult to put this book down.

More Recommendations

Lacey Schmidt: The Trouble with Super is that you can't stop reading it. Mr. Barrett's characters are all to easy to relate to even if you don't have a super quirk of your own, and their plight is both heart-rendingly funny and heart-warmingly sad at the same time. It's a bit like Office Space meets the Matri...

This story wasn't for you ?
Look at our most viral stories!
Iosaghar

FreakyPoet: "you made me laugh, made me cry, both are hard to do. I spent most of the night reading your story, captivated. This is why you get full stars from me. Thanks for the great story!"

The Cyneweard

Sara Joy Bailey: "Full of depth and life. The plot was thrilling. The author's style flows naturally and the reader can easily slip into the pages of the story. Very well done."

This story wasn't for you ?
Look at our most viral story!
Spectra

Ro-Ange Olson: "Loved it and couldn't put it down. I really hope there is a sequel. Well written and the plot really moves forward."