Breakfast at Karmuck's Interdimensional Cafe

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Episode 13

Karmuck’s Cafe:

Alicia sipped her steaming hot tea and sighed in contentment.

“So... we just going to ignore what happened in the book?” Laura said. Thankfully, the unexplained voyage back to Karmuck’s Interdimensional Cafe had restored her imposing, muscular physique. “How’d we get back here anyway?”

“The Author reached his Almighty Hand through one of the many plotholes that opened up on our way out of Italy and brought us back,” Alicia explained bluntly. “And thank goodness for that, could you imagine if we had to go through the rest of that story arc?”

“Oh my God, thousands of people might have died... of boredom!” Laura exclaimed.

“What people are you referring to?” Alicia asked with raised eyebrows.

“Uh...” Laura stuttered for a bit. “Quick question bro, does Lissy know about the 4th wall yet?” I don’t believe so... “Yeah... shit. Sorry ‘bout that.” No prob, if it gets bad I’ll just wipe her memory. “... Wow, you just love screwing with her brain like a toy don’t you?” What?... what are you... “First her dad mindrapes her, then she gets amnesia in our first story together... Seriously dude that’s fucked up.” Okay okay, let’s just get back to the story already. “The innocent bystanders I would have killed... like really.”

“Hmm,” Alicia hummed indifferently as she took another sip of tea. “I still have the Tome with me right here. Where shall we go now?”

“Oh hell no I ain’t going back in there. I am sick and tired of constantly being wussified and losing all of my muscles and...”

“Oh look, the Anime universe. The rules themselves state that women can be of any height and, if their hair is cut short, assume an androgynous, gender ambiguous identity that enables them to perform more typically masculine gender roles,” Alicia said. Laura blinked in disbelief for several seconds before pulling out a pair of scissors.

“Sign me up captain,” she said. She cut her long blond locks until her hair was hanging just below her ears.

“Very well.” Alicia opened the Tome to the relevant page. The two women were soon back inside.

The Anime Universe Part 1:

Laura rubbed her eyes and dragged herself upright. Waking up to a world of unnaturally florescent colors and geometrically even landmarks, she was quick to go and look for a reflective surface. Sure enough, between her trench coat, short hair, and cartoonishly homogenized color scheme, Laura herself had a hard time figuring out her gender from appearances alone.

“Well, it seems we’ve made it without too much incident.” Alicia, however, was not anywhere near as ambiguous. Her black hair had actually grown longer, extending almost to her hips. Even so, by a miraculous force her face and eyes remained completely unobstructed. Her eyes had grown much larger on her face, the bright green irises only made them more prominent. And in spite of her age and obvious physical maturity, somehow her face gave off the impression that she was a very young girl.

“Oh... my... goodness,” Laura mumbled.

“What?” Alicia growled in annoyance.

“You are... so damn cute!” Laura hugged her much more petite companion and began ruffling her impossibly long, flowing black hair. Yet even this failed to actually throw hair into Alicia’s face. “It’s like they magically gave you all the cuteness of a kid while...” She pushed Alicia away to examine her abnormally curvaceous body. “... yet somehow you kept all your sexiness. It’s kinda creepy in a way but it’s so cute!” Alicia sighed softly in exasperation and reached a hand up to tidy her hair. She stopped when she realized her hair had magically brushed itself back neatly. This was something she could get used to.

“Very well. Now...” As Alicia continued to notice the setting, she couldn’t help but marvel at the strange machines dominating the skyline. “Let’s have a look at that nearby city to figure out what our plot is, who our villain is, and how...” Alicia sighed. “My outfit makes me look like a stripper right now doesn’t it?”

“Yep,” Laura said.

“And somehow, my cup size is impossibly large and threatening to burst out of my top at any moment?” Alicia asked, resigned to her fate.


“Laura, as you would say... Fan-fucking-tastic.”
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