Breakfast at Karmuck's Interdimensional Cafe

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Episode 7

The Universe of Teen Vampire Stories Part 3:

While Laura was trapped in high school, our other hero Alicia had a prisoner to interrogate. The mysterious teenage boy that she had passed out was beginning to resuscitate. Not one to let a good opportunity slide, she had of course tied him up and hung him upside down from the top of a very tall warehouse. By the time the boy opened his eyes, he was looking straight at Alicia’s face, snarling black mask and all.

“Who sent you after me?” she growled in a soft voice.

“I... I’m just an extra. I don’t know anything about the main plot I swear,” he whimpered. Alicia scowled and released the rope holding the boy, sending him plummeting towards a lit fire pit at the bottom surrounded by silver tipped stakes pointed up. Alicia stopped the rope at the last second and used it to launch him back up to her. “Vampires like us only come out here to hunt down Mary Sues. We don’t...”

“Do I look like a Mary Sue?!” Alicia dropped the prisoner back down towards the pit before pulling him back up.

“Okay okay. The Callens have one vampire inside the school named Edgar, my job is to make sure that he finds the next Mary Sue to sacrifice to the Great Demon!”


“The Demon... she’s crazy. She spawns all of us vampires for some sort of hidden ritual. I... I never went to the mansion where they do it. That’s all I know I swear!” Alicia grabbed the prisoner by the neck and held him up for closer inspection. She took a silver knife out of her belt and began prodding his face.

“Hmm, immunity to sunlight, no reaction to silver or crucifixes, and an odor of garlic... exactly what kind of vampire are you anyway? The closest I’ve seen is your reaction to the sun, but instead of burning you... glitter.”

“I... I don’t know. Gah!” The prisoner began howling in pain. “The angsting, it’s coming back. If you don’t let me go I’ll I’ll...”

“What?” Alicia deadpanned.

“I... AAARGH!!” The prisoner burst into an explosion of sparkles and glitters, forcing Alicia to take cover behind one of the barricades. When she came up, all traces of the boy were gone.

“Whoa, what happened?!” Laura had sprinted into the warehouse some time after the explosion. As soon as she saw her friend, she began smirking uncontrollably. Covering her mouth only exacerbated the problem.

“What?” Alicia growled.

“You’re sparkling,” Laura said, barely containing her smirks. Alicia frowned slightly and looked at herself through a reflective window pane. Sure enough, her sleek, black combat suit and mask were glittering like a shattered mirror basking in the glory of the noonday... “Dude!” Seriously, whatever this ‘Demon’ is doing, it’s really crippling my powers. “Great, our patron god and helper is being attacked.” Yeah... and if you girls can’t fix it I can’t beam you back out either. “Oh fuck no you’re not. I’m gonna put this Demon’s head on a platter. Nobody puts me in a weird ass high school fic and gets away with it...” Eh heh heh... right. Anyway, back to the story... Alicia gritted her teeth and clenched her fists, but made no outward signs of aggression.

“I’ll be in the nearby creek washing this filth out.” She began walking down the stairs to the bottom floor but stopped to look at Laura. “But for the record, I’m not the one wearing a thigh high skirt with girlish little pigtails.” It was Alicia’s turn to smirk. She slipped out of the warehouse before Laura had the chance to respond.
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