Breakfast at Karmuck's Interdimensional Cafe

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Episode 8

The Universe of Teen Vampire Stories Part 4:

“I am going to hunt down every one of those glowies and I will personally kill them all,” Alicia growled. The fact that she was sopping wet and looked completely disheveled from washing the sparkles off her body only accentuated her unhinged appearance.

“Glowies?” Laura muttered.

“Those sparkling, useless... things. I am not even going to call them vampires. Now let’s go. I think I have our next target.” Alicia began walking towards the street, placing her mask firmly over her face. “How useful do you think you’d be in a fight?” Laura paused and looked down at herself. She stretched her pale, bone thin arms out and grumbled.

“Considering that this universe wants me to be an anorexic supermodel... I’m pretty fucking useless right now,” she said.

“Great... in that case follow me and try not to get hurt. I do not like carrying useless bodies, however emaciated they may be.” She crouched down behind a parked car and saw a group of bikers loitering around their motorcycles. “Actually, stay hidden. I’ll take care of this momentarily.” Alicia stepped out into full view of the gang. “Excuse me gentlemen, I will need one of your motorbikes. Preferably one with a full tank of gasoline.” For a moment, the bikers looked at the wet, disheveled girl in confusion before bursting out into laughter. One of the biggest and burliest one of them walked up to them and sized her up.

“You forgot to say please,” he said.

“I don’t have time.” Alicia grabbed the man by the arm and twisted it out of his socket, bashing him over the head with her metal lined gauntlets to knock him out. The others of course lunged at her to retaliate, but Alicia had them all on the ground writhing in pain in the span of ten seconds. One of the bikers pulled a gun out of his holster, only for Alicia to snatch it out of his hands and point it at his head.

“Okay! Just... take it!” He tossed his keys at her. Alicia snatched them from the air then smashed the butt of the pistol into the man’s head to knock him out.

“You can come out now,” Alicia said. Laura peeked out from her hiding place. “Please tell me you at least remember how to use a gun.” Laura walked up to her friend and took the pistol from her hands. She aimed down the sights and flipped it around in her hands a few times.

“Yep. Luckily this universe let me keep my skills, just wish it could’ve left me enough muscle mass to use half of them,” she said. The two got on their newly stolen motorcycle. “Still, couldn’t you have just uh hijacked a parked car or something?”

“After three hours of trying to bathe and get the sparkles off my body? Let’s just say I needed to vent,” Alicia replied. She revved up the engine and launched the bike down the road, deftly dodging the cluttered traffic. “Now, on more serious matters. Before I began interrogating the prisoner, I looted a map off his person. Assuming that he was speaking even a modicum of truth during the interrogation, I have a feeling it leads to the Callen estate.”

“The what?” Laura muttered.

“The central meeting location of these glowies. Now I’m not entirely sure how the Teen Vampire universe operates, but if I recall I do believe one of the elements of progressing the plot is discovering the eponymous teen vampire in his own element. We’re going to find him now, possibly kill him if necessary, and get back to Karmuck’s. I am dying for one of their Herbal Teas right now.”

“Hmm, so what about that talk of the Demon? Maybe that’s the actual vampire and these glowies are some sort of horrible experiment gone wrong?”

“One could hope it was that simple,” Alicia said. “However, I should warn you that given the precedent of standard vampire universes there is a strong chance that you could be turned into a vampire and that I will have to kill you.”


“I hope there will be no hard feelings on the other side.”

“Aw, you do care about me,” Laura uttered sarcastically.

“Don’t push your luck.”
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