The Old Funky Rhombus

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Summary

"Hi, i'm Ezra, a real life detective. Well, at least for this story. We get to solve crimes and stuff. How cool is that!

Genre:
Humor / Mystery
Author:
RexEynon
Status:
Ongoing
Chapters:
3
Rating:
n/a
Age Rating:
16+

Introductions

An excitable voice fades in; Happy and cheerful in tune. Almost melodic. “Hello, hello. And welcome to the story. I’m…”

“What you doing?”

A second voice cuts the fine, artistically brilliant vocals off halfway. It’s a shuddery, half-baked tone. Like your fathers voice after a few glasses of whiskey. The point between his depressing life and his angry rants. You know, the ‘happy’ point.

“I’m not an old man. I’m 23. Can we just carry on with the narration, thank you!?”

The old man continues…

“I’m not… Keep calm, we’ve just started. Right… What you doing?”

“I’m just introducing the readers to the story. Give ‘em a bit of background. Dig up the truths, outline the main characters. You know, a bit of showmanship.”

“Showmanship. It’s not a show. They’re not watching a movie. They’re reading a book. Look you’ve ruined it already. Half of them have probably already left through your muttering. And this berks comments.”

The old man speaks to the all-knowing narrator, yet is wrong to question such a wisdomous, and powerful being.

“Wisdomous. Powerful. You’re both gone wrong. Look, just hurry up and get going. We need to start.”

And with that, the old man exits, needing a zimmer frame to carry the sheer size of his bin-lid sized head.

“I’m not old…”

“Haha. Anyway. While those two are at it, let me introduce us. I’m Ezra Lee Walker, King of the banshees. I know what you’re thinking, banshee’s don’t exists. Well, don’t tell them that or they’ll come at yer like a stampede of vultures. Pecking at your little peepers as you go crying off to the barman. “Help me, help me barman. They’re after my little lion peepers.” Haha.”

“And that guy. He’s well… He gave me a list earlier on his best features. Let’s see.”

Ezra unravels a long, almost never ending scroll that rolls all of the way down, and along the ground a few meters away.

“He’s a poet. Poet extreme he’s wrote. And he’s erm… a dance maestro, electro-pop-punk, the inventor of Hellman’s mayonnaise, Queen of Uzbekistan… What this one, Monkey Duster. Haha. What’s that? He goes around with his little fairy duster, tickling away at gorillas.”

“It’s ‘Monkey Dominator’ you berk.”

“Alright, alright. Well that Monkey Duster is my partner Walter Scum.”

“It’s Wesley Skume. I told you that before. It’s written on the top of my list. Did you even read it?”

“Yeah. I did. Anyway, I was gonna ask. What’s this one? It says that you spent a whole night half naked with a walrus, eating chips as yer…”

“Okay, enough of that.”

Waldo yanks the list from Ezra, ripping it apart as he throws the little pieces to the ground.

“My name’s Wesley!” Wayne cuts in…

“Enjoy the story.”

Continue Reading Next Chapter
Further Recommendations

Angie BlackOrchid: Love it. It’s short and to the point.

TheShookethSister: I like the relationship between the two, they’re adorable. I like that they’re both nice to each other, not very common in arranged marriage books. All in all they’re well suited and i’d like to see how the book progresses. I’d recommend to my friends who like romance books and nice main leads. I...

iriscaklovic: Sooooo beautifull story ❤❤❤ really enjoyed reading it. ❤❤❤

Adyaj: Now I don’t normally write reviews or comment really but I absolutely had to!! This book is amazing from the plot to the character and especially especiallyyy the romance🥹 it’s so sweet and Axel is the absolute dream man unicorn 10/10 1000/10 read the book, also huge thank you to the author for s...

Little_mushroom101: This book makes me love reading. I can't wait until I can find more books like this.

Zebrasarecool: I loved everything!!!!;)……………………🫶❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶

Khush: Lovely book. Can't wait to read the next part.

stephsteph: Loved their story, gives you all the happy, lovey-dovey feelings.

franhemmer5: This book is wonderful and intriguing . But way to short I'm glad you have a second book and cannot wait to read it. Damn good job on the whole book. Keep up the great work.💞

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