The Old Funky Rhombus

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Summary

"Hi, i'm Ezra, a real life detective. Well, at least for this story. We get to solve crimes and stuff. How cool is that!

Genre:
Humor / Mystery
Author:
RexEynon
Status:
Ongoing
Chapters:
3
Rating:
n/a
Age Rating:
16+

Introductions

An excitable voice fades in; Happy and cheerful in tune. Almost melodic. “Hello, hello. And welcome to the story. I’m…”

“What you doing?”

A second voice cuts the fine, artistically brilliant vocals off halfway. It’s a shuddery, half-baked tone. Like your fathers voice after a few glasses of whiskey. The point between his depressing life and his angry rants. You know, the ‘happy’ point.

“I’m not an old man. I’m 23. Can we just carry on with the narration, thank you!?”

The old man continues…

“I’m not… Keep calm, we’ve just started. Right… What you doing?”

“I’m just introducing the readers to the story. Give ‘em a bit of background. Dig up the truths, outline the main characters. You know, a bit of showmanship.”

“Showmanship. It’s not a show. They’re not watching a movie. They’re reading a book. Look you’ve ruined it already. Half of them have probably already left through your muttering. And this berks comments.”

The old man speaks to the all-knowing narrator, yet is wrong to question such a wisdomous, and powerful being.

“Wisdomous. Powerful. You’re both gone wrong. Look, just hurry up and get going. We need to start.”

And with that, the old man exits, needing a zimmer frame to carry the sheer size of his bin-lid sized head.

“I’m not old…”

“Haha. Anyway. While those two are at it, let me introduce us. I’m Ezra Lee Walker, King of the banshees. I know what you’re thinking, banshee’s don’t exists. Well, don’t tell them that or they’ll come at yer like a stampede of vultures. Pecking at your little peepers as you go crying off to the barman. “Help me, help me barman. They’re after my little lion peepers.” Haha.”

“And that guy. He’s well… He gave me a list earlier on his best features. Let’s see.”

Ezra unravels a long, almost never ending scroll that rolls all of the way down, and along the ground a few meters away.

“He’s a poet. Poet extreme he’s wrote. And he’s erm… a dance maestro, electro-pop-punk, the inventor of Hellman’s mayonnaise, Queen of Uzbekistan… What this one, Monkey Duster. Haha. What’s that? He goes around with his little fairy duster, tickling away at gorillas.”

“It’s ‘Monkey Dominator’ you berk.”

“Alright, alright. Well that Monkey Duster is my partner Walter Scum.”

“It’s Wesley Skume. I told you that before. It’s written on the top of my list. Did you even read it?”

“Yeah. I did. Anyway, I was gonna ask. What’s this one? It says that you spent a whole night half naked with a walrus, eating chips as yer…”

“Okay, enough of that.”

Waldo yanks the list from Ezra, ripping it apart as he throws the little pieces to the ground.

“My name’s Wesley!” Wayne cuts in…

“Enjoy the story.”

Continue Reading Next Chapter
Further Recommendations

Autumn: Definitely need a sequel to this! Great story.

Nyasia: This book is awesome and I love it. I really do hope Trevor appears to help the guys figure out. Your books are amazing and I love them. Good job and please keep up the great work

Talie dreamer : I love that the story was straight to the point evening thought it was a bit confusing with the point if views but it was awesome keep it up

Nevi: I love this book from the first line. It is filled with humour at every turn and it makes you fall in love with not only the characters but also the entire story. I would recommend this book to anyone who's down for a great book and lots of laughs.

Cordelia Monroe: It’s perfect! I really want to know what happened with Fran and Atlas though! Definitely worth reading time. This is a book I’d like to own one day!

Chelsey: Like it so far.

lapatrick74: Another Great story 💗💗💗💗💗

merlekhan1963: I love the book and i would recomend it to all my friends

Carol Lonergan: Woe what a great mystery cant wait to find out who the sapphire dreamer is .

More Recommendations

Stardust: It was ok book. First part was definitely the best one. In this one,there was lessnewer things to discover and it seemed the same.

Juvelyn: It is amazing story...

lilbit1976: I really enjoyed this story.

Abigail: I like the plot of the story; the writer has the reader’s attention through out. There’s not much I dislike about the story; it’s close to perfect. The punctuation is also good. I’d recommend this book to teens and young adults; it’s perfectly suitable for both.

JIJI: Still in chapter 10 and yet the book is wonderfully amazing ... can't wait to finish reading it and wish for the writer to update regularly.

About Us

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