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The Old Funky Rhombus

By RexEynon All Rights Reserved ©

Humor / Mystery

Introductions

An excitable voice fades in; Happy and cheerful in tune. Almost melodic. “Hello, hello. And welcome to the story. I’m…”

“What you doing?”

A second voice cuts the fine, artistically brilliant vocals off halfway. It’s a shuddery, half-baked tone. Like your fathers voice after a few glasses of whiskey. The point between his depressing life and his angry rants. You know, the ‘happy’ point.

“I’m not an old man. I’m 23. Can we just carry on with the narration, thank you!?”

The old man continues…

“I’m not… Keep calm, we’ve just started. Right… What you doing?”

“I’m just introducing the readers to the story. Give ‘em a bit of background. Dig up the truths, outline the main characters. You know, a bit of showmanship.”

“Showmanship. It’s not a show. They’re not watching a movie. They’re reading a book. Look you’ve ruined it already. Half of them have probably already left through your muttering. And this berks comments.”

The old man speaks to the all-knowing narrator, yet is wrong to question such a wisdomous, and powerful being.

“Wisdomous. Powerful. You’re both gone wrong. Look, just hurry up and get going. We need to start.”

And with that, the old man exits, needing a zimmer frame to carry the sheer size of his bin-lid sized head.

“I’m not old…”

“Haha. Anyway. While those two are at it, let me introduce us. I’m Ezra Lee Walker, King of the banshees. I know what you’re thinking, banshee’s don’t exists. Well, don’t tell them that or they’ll come at yer like a stampede of vultures. Pecking at your little peepers as you go crying off to the barman. “Help me, help me barman. They’re after my little lion peepers.” Haha.”

“And that guy. He’s well… He gave me a list earlier on his best features. Let’s see.”

Ezra unravels a long, almost never ending scroll that rolls all of the way down, and along the ground a few meters away.

“He’s a poet. Poet extreme he’s wrote. And he’s erm… a dance maestro, electro-pop-punk, the inventor of Hellman’s mayonnaise, Queen of Uzbekistan… What this one, Monkey Duster. Haha. What’s that? He goes around with his little fairy duster, tickling away at gorillas.”

“It’s ‘Monkey Dominator’ you berk.”

“Alright, alright. Well that Monkey Duster is my partner Walter Scum.”

“It’s Wesley Skume. I told you that before. It’s written on the top of my list. Did you even read it?”

“Yeah. I did. Anyway, I was gonna ask. What’s this one? It says that you spent a whole night half naked with a walrus, eating chips as yer…”

“Okay, enough of that.”

Waldo yanks the list from Ezra, ripping it apart as he throws the little pieces to the ground.

“My name’s Wesley!” Wayne cuts in…

“Enjoy the story.”

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kyla jorge domanhog: Interesting. Not the typical story

Tawni Suchy: This was a really good read. I went through it in a day. I’ve been reading a lot of cliches and this was not one of them. I loved this story and the build to their relationship was paced perfectly. I’d highly recommend this book!

Misty Hickox: A good read. Making me chuckle.

hafsa hashimi: Niiiccee✌🏻

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Debby : I enjoyed every part of it. I love how the characters developed and were in touch with reality. Their future looks good together. Hope Sadie doesn't fall in love...with some other explorer.. Adventures are bound to happen when you travel round the globe.

Rashmi Nair: It made me come back to finish the book. So simple yet so beautiful.The story is so relatable. A well weaved plot that kept you captivated. Thank you for the amazing read!

Amoloja Maryann: I truly enjoyed reading his story it was an interesting plot full of drama however I wish there was something like that Elijah's ex was a crazy psycho b**** who wanted to kill Alina instead it would be more fun that way

Tracey Lowin: Loving this so much!

More Recommendations

Amoloja Maryann: I truly enjoyed reading his story it was an interesting plot full of drama however I wish there was something like that Elijah's ex was a crazy psycho b**** who wanted to kill Alina instead it would be more fun that way

devociono: Its amazing . Sweet and simple. I loved it 💕Especially the conversations between the two of them was too good. Both the books of the series areone of the best stories i have read in inkitt . 💕😍

amouse261: it is a great story. has great development characters and with a tension between them that is incredible intense. the author knows how to catch your attention since the beginning and that's one of the most hard things to do with a cliché novel like this, but who doesn't love a little cliché? a fe...

apalmer3: This book seems pretty well thought out. However, it is plagued with grammar mistakes and misspellings. A bit of proofreading before releasing a chapter would make the reading experience better.

briannawilliams456: I like this book I was looking for a book like this on wattpad but it didn't give the book I want plus sometimes wattpad keep on messing up orbit will froze up so I like this app don't go to wattpad because they will cheat you out your money

lailachupp04: THIS NEEDS TO BE PUBLISHED I MUST MUST MUST SHOW THIS BOOK TO EVERYONE I KNOW!!!!!!I WANT TO HAVE A COPY OF IT SO BAD!!! your book was amazing and so interesting especially describing Maggie's life it reminds me of my life

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