The Old Funky Rhombus

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Summary

"Hi, i'm Ezra, a real life detective. Well, at least for this story. We get to solve crimes and stuff. How cool is that!

Genre:
Humor / Mystery
Author:
RexEynon
Status:
Ongoing
Chapters:
3
Rating:
n/a
Age Rating:
16+

Introductions

An excitable voice fades in; Happy and cheerful in tune. Almost melodic. “Hello, hello. And welcome to the story. I’m…”

“What you doing?”

A second voice cuts the fine, artistically brilliant vocals off halfway. It’s a shuddery, half-baked tone. Like your fathers voice after a few glasses of whiskey. The point between his depressing life and his angry rants. You know, the ‘happy’ point.

“I’m not an old man. I’m 23. Can we just carry on with the narration, thank you!?”

The old man continues…

“I’m not… Keep calm, we’ve just started. Right… What you doing?”

“I’m just introducing the readers to the story. Give ‘em a bit of background. Dig up the truths, outline the main characters. You know, a bit of showmanship.”

“Showmanship. It’s not a show. They’re not watching a movie. They’re reading a book. Look you’ve ruined it already. Half of them have probably already left through your muttering. And this berks comments.”

The old man speaks to the all-knowing narrator, yet is wrong to question such a wisdomous, and powerful being.

“Wisdomous. Powerful. You’re both gone wrong. Look, just hurry up and get going. We need to start.”

And with that, the old man exits, needing a zimmer frame to carry the sheer size of his bin-lid sized head.

“I’m not old…”

“Haha. Anyway. While those two are at it, let me introduce us. I’m Ezra Lee Walker, King of the banshees. I know what you’re thinking, banshee’s don’t exists. Well, don’t tell them that or they’ll come at yer like a stampede of vultures. Pecking at your little peepers as you go crying off to the barman. “Help me, help me barman. They’re after my little lion peepers.” Haha.”

“And that guy. He’s well… He gave me a list earlier on his best features. Let’s see.”

Ezra unravels a long, almost never ending scroll that rolls all of the way down, and along the ground a few meters away.

“He’s a poet. Poet extreme he’s wrote. And he’s erm… a dance maestro, electro-pop-punk, the inventor of Hellman’s mayonnaise, Queen of Uzbekistan… What this one, Monkey Duster. Haha. What’s that? He goes around with his little fairy duster, tickling away at gorillas.”

“It’s ‘Monkey Dominator’ you berk.”

“Alright, alright. Well that Monkey Duster is my partner Walter Scum.”

“It’s Wesley Skume. I told you that before. It’s written on the top of my list. Did you even read it?”

“Yeah. I did. Anyway, I was gonna ask. What’s this one? It says that you spent a whole night half naked with a walrus, eating chips as yer…”

“Okay, enough of that.”

Waldo yanks the list from Ezra, ripping it apart as he throws the little pieces to the ground.

“My name’s Wesley!” Wayne cuts in…

“Enjoy the story.”

Continue Reading Next Chapter
Further Recommendations

A.C Macias : There are not enough words to describe how I felt reading this! I simply love it!

JIJI: Still in chapter 10 and yet the book is wonderfully amazing ... can't wait to finish reading it and wish for the writer to update regularly.

lilly: I am in love with this book it has so many emotions and it is very touching. I like the ending cause it was not clique and it show as how life is. I would highly recommended this book it is so amazing, And also cassie you should write another book

Shewolf : What can I say about this book apart from its truly amazing. One of my favourite books. It holds a place in my heart forever. One thing I love so much is that the boys/men in this story are not bad boys who hurt you they are the most loving caring men I have read about and its a breath of fresh a...

Lolalola17: Great love it

tanyapatterson14: Cute story.

florieta93: Everything about it is addicting. Although I wished it was longer, this pace and 6 chap summed everything and put everything together perfectly. The 6 chap was good enough. I loved it! 😍

ntombenmap010: I loved the book but I felt like you left it in the middle

SP_MUSIC: I LOVE THIS BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

More Recommendations

Nickz Milovale: This story is great the sensation, the feeling the easy to wording is great so please continue on the story

Mili: Very well written

pamela: I love reading your books their very entertaining. Just love it❤️❤️

Leziel Cadalso: Very touching story

skcthreebucks: Great story! Read it all the way through!!!❤❤❤

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