The Perks Of Being Me

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Chapter Six - “Never Have I Ever.”

Harriet’s P.O.V

After dancing for half an hour and watching Tara and Denise push away the hungry guys who only wanted to get into their pants, we found ourselves back in the kitchen. Tara is currently sipping her third drink of vodka -- which Tara has been begging me to try -- while Denise is searching through the fridge to find food.

I, on the other, hand am currently lost in my thoughts. About what, you ask? Liam Monroe. I still can’t believe all of that happened in less than ten minutes. It actually scares me that I haven’t cried already because of how I left Liam in that bedroom because knowing me, if I wasn’t at a party, I wouldn’t have slapped myself twice and cried myself to sleep.

I know, I’m a sook.

“This is supposed to be a party and this dude doesn’t even have proper food.” Denise groans and I walk over to the fridge, peering inside.

“The fridge is full, what is wrong with you?” I ask, grabbing out an apple since I am also beginning to get a little hungry. I mean, I know an apple won’t help that fact that I’m about to die from starvation but it’s the first thing I saw.

"No chocolate, no sugary food, nothing! It should be against the law to not have chocolate in your fridge.” Denise snaps and I can’t help but let out a laugh. Suddenly, my bladder screams out and I place the apple in the hands of Tara.

“Don’t eat it. I’m going to the bathroom.” I say quickly before running out of the kitchen and running around to look for some place to empty my bladder. A door to my left makes my legs run faster and when I push the door open, I let out a sigh.

That was surprisingly quick since this place is like a mansion.

I close the door behind me and sit down on the toilet, letting my bladder release itself. Once I’m done, I flush the toilet and wash my hands, opening the door. I notice Denise and Tara walking towards me. A red cup and my apple is in Tara’s hands and a phone in Denise’s.

“Your apple, Harri.” Tara smiles and I thank her. As we walk into the living room, I hear Denise let out a laugh as she walks towards Alec who is sitting on the couch surrounded by a group of people. Denise settles herself on his lap and smiles.

“What are we playing?” Denise asks and Alec smirks.

“Never have I ever.” Alec says and when he notices Tara and I, his smirk widens. “You two playing?”

I glance over at Tara and she sighs, taking a seat next to Denise and Alex on the couch.

Well, I guess I have no choice but to play, huh?


The guy that is sitting next to Emma pours himself -- and the other people who needs refills -- another drink. The glass bottle that reads ‘vodka’ in the middle of it is now empty as the guy moves the bottle behind him. I, on the other hand, held the small shot glass in between my fingers as I look down at it.

After playing this game for half an hour now, I have still found myself without any alcohol in my system. The sentences that people were ridiculous and since I haven’t found myself having... sexual relations with any boy or even french kissing them, I am happily sober.

Denise and Tara on the other hand are totally hammered -- if that is the right word to use right now.

I glance over at Denise who is still sitting on Alec’s lap, a drunken smile on her face. It’s like everyone around her disappeared as she stares into the eyes of Alec and I can’t help but narrow my eyes at him. Ever since Tara had told me what he had done, I’ve never liked him. I mean, Denise may love him but when I hear something that bad about someone - especially my best friend’s boyfriend - I lose all trust I have for them and thats what happened with Alec.

“Emma, your turn.” Alec says, bringing his shot glass up to his lips while Denise rests her head on his shoulder. Emma nods and raises the glass up, a small smile on her face. And when she looks over at me, I know this isn’t going to end well.

“Never have I ever seen a dead body.”

In the corner of my eye, I notice Tara shoot up from her seat on the couch. She may be drunk but Tara definitely isn’t deaf. I find my hands begin to shake as no one drinks from their glass, their eyes looking over at me.

She is talking about Mom.

“You bitch!” Tara snaps, making her way over to Emma and tackling her. A few people get out their phones and I watch as my best friend begins to hit Emma in the face.

She is talking about my Mom.

I notice Alec place Denise next to him on the couch and get up, obviously going to get Tara off of Emma. The shouting begins to get louder as Tara now shouts at Alec for him to let go of her. When Emma gets up, her bottom lip is cut open and her eye is beginning to turn purple.

“Get the fuck off me! Get the fuck off me!” Tara screams and the guy that was sitting next to Emma begins to take her into another room away from the raging Tara. I slowly stand to my feet and look over at Denise who has passed out. With my hands still shaking, my heart pounding and my head throbbing -- once again -- I make my way towards the stairs.

“Never have I ever seen a dead body.”

God, I know Emma is mean but I didn’t know she is that mean.

I make my way up the stairs, beginning to get lost in my thoughts. The people that have just left the bedroom that they were in run past me with drunken smiles on their faces and when I notice that the room that Liam and I were in, I bite my lip and walk in. Closing the door behind me, I try to blink the tears away.

“Whenever you feel angry or upset, Harriet, remember to flick this rubber band. You may think that I’m ridiculous but it helps. Trust me.” Nanna -- Dr Martinez -- says as she hands me the rubber band. I look down at it, my eyebrows furrowing.

“How will this help?” I ask Nanna and she smiles weakly.

“Its the sudden shock it sends through your body. It may sting but that is what it does. It takes the pain away from what you’re feeling. I helped me when your grandfather passed away so I’m certain that it should help you somehow. If it doesn’t, then you take these.” Nanna explains as she picks up the pills that are in a white container.

“And what are these?”

“Anti-depressants. Now, I know you’re not depressed and I know you need a prescription for this but if you are responsible, which I know you are, you will know what to do.” Nanna says with a small smile before bringing me into a hug.

I feel the first tear fall down my cheek but I furiously wipe it away before it can linger on my skin any longer. I grab at the rubber band on my wrist and flick it hard against my skin as I look around the room. I notice the window that leads out to the roof and I begin to make my way over to the window. I feel another tear fall from my eye as I breathe in the cold air.

“You okay?”

I turn around and look at the brunette, my bottom lip trembling. Tara frowns and walks over to me, bringing me into a tight hug as I begin to sob.

I’ll never be okay.


I feel my phone vibrate in my hand and I look down at it, reading the message from Dad.

Dad: Kissing no boys, I hope ;)

As I read over Dad’s message twice, I can’t help but let out a laugh. But also, I can’t help but remember what happened with Liam. Ever since that happened, I haven’t seen Liam around since. Did I upset him by walking out or something?

I shake my head slightly and type my reply.

Me: No, Dad. I’m not. I’m just sitting in the kitchen with Tara and Denise.

Once I sent the message, I look up at my two best friends who are sitting on the counter eating a packet of chips. They both are stuffing their faces and I chuckle quietly.

After my crying scene in the bedroom, Tara decided to go and look for Denise and I remembered that she had passed out on the couch so I went with her. That’s when we found Denise in the kitchen with different packets of chips surrounding her. And that’s when Denise had told us that she just fell asleep on the couch.

My phone vibrates, taking me out of my thoughts.

Dad: Are you all friends now?

Me: Yeah, just today actually. I’m just hoping that it will stay this way.

Just have to get Alec to stop starting with Tara...

But I doubt that will happen.

Dad: Girls fight. Girls get back together. It’s a fact. Anyway, The Hunger Games is on so I’mgoingto go and watch it :)

Me: Record it, please!

Dad: You know I will. See you soon xx

Me: See you x

As I go to shove my phone in the pocket of my jeans, I feel my phone vibrate again. Thinking that it is Dad, I turn my phone on and furrow my eyebrows when I don’t see Dad’s name on the screen.

Unknown Number: Picture attached.

“What’s the sour face?” I hear Denise call out to me and I look up at my best friend to see her currently dipping the chip into the dipping sauce between Tara and herself. I wave her off and look back at my phone, my eyebrows still furrowed.

I click onto the message, the box where the picture is supposed to be, still loading. There is no past messages from this number so I have no idea who it is. How did this person even get my number anyway?

Then, just as I am about to get lost in my thoughts about the mystery person, my eyes catch onto the image as it finally loads.

Liam and Emma.

I feel my breathing become heavy and my eyes become watery. I promised myself after last time that I can’t cry tonight... so why the hell am I about to break that? Oh, maybe because my biggest enemy is sucking face with the person I like.

The picture has obviously been taken by someone else as you can see Emma and Liam’s faces. Liam is up against the wall while Emma looks like she is sucking the life out of Liam. His hands are just below her ribcage and by the picture being taken at a slight angle, I can see the small grin in the corner of Emma’s lips.

Suddenly, another message pops up at the bottom.

Unknown Number: Have a good night, darling ;)

“Now, I may be drunk right now, but I can see when you’re getting worried. What’s wrong?” Denise asks and I look at her and notice her walking towards me. She tilts to the right a little but regains her balance as she clings onto my arm. Denise looks down at the picture and I can’t help but do the same... again.

Liam sits on the bed and takes a sip of his drink. When he swallows it, his eyes sparkle a little when they meet mine. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a long time, Harriet.” Liam says and I feel my heart race when he says my name again. Yep, I’m definitely going to have a heart attack.

“About what?” I choke out and Liam smiles. His grabs my hand and rubs his thumb over my knuckles, sending my heart into self-destruct. I look down at his hand and lick my lips like I have been living in the desert for years without water -- wait, wouldn’t I have died?

“Us.”

Okay, I think I definitely did just die.

“I really like you.” Liam says and my eyes widen slightly, my mouth always falling open. I probably look like a fish right now but I can’t help it. I mean, Liam and I have never spoken to each other and right now, it’s like we have been talking for hours.

“Uh...” Oh God, say something you idiot! “I... li-like you t-too.” I stutter and Liam smiles. Oh yeah, did I mention how gorgeous his smile is? It can make anyone pass out from how hot he is when he smiles. I’m actually surprised I haven’t passed out yet...

“Thats good to hear.” Liam says, his hand leaving my hand to rest on my thigh. My heart races and my breathing becomes heavy. I know I’m wearing jeans but oh dear heaven’s, I think my whole body is going to set itself on fire from how hot I’m getting.

Suddenly, Dad’s words ring in my head as if to warn me. I close my eyes and breathe out a sigh. As much as I want to stay with Liam, I have to listen to Dad, even if that means I have to push my crush away.

As I recall the images of just a few hours ago, I bite my lip. Was this suppose to be payback? You know, because of when I walked away from him?

Before a million more questions can flood my mind, Denise snatches my phone angrily. “What the fudge! Oh my god, my fist has been craving to punch her face ever since I saw her in the kitchen and now I’m going to--”

I shake my head and wave her off, quickly wiping my eyes before the tears fall. In the corner of my eye, I notice Tara frowning as she stares at me. “Don’t, Denise. I... I have another idea.”

“And what is better than punching the Queen Bee?”

My eyes make contact with the bottle of vodka on the table and I can’t help but force a small smile onto my face. “Getting drunk.”


“Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are.” I sing off key to Twinkle Twinkle as I look at the stars above me, the bottle of alcohol resting against my thighs which are brought up to make my knees bend.

I’ve been on the roof of this place for about half an hour, just drinking my second bottle of vodka. And may I just say, vodka tastes so weird but it’s addicting. I just hope I don’t become an alcoholic because of tonight.

Tara and Denise are still downstairs, stuffing their faces with any food they can find. I told them -- after I downed the half of the bottle -- that I will be going bathroom because I felt a little sick. After I threw up, I was planning to go back to the kitchen but the stairs caught my eye and thats when I found myself near the window of the roof. I know it’s dangerous but I can still think... a little.

Also, a little fun fact: I never knew vodka could destroy so many brain cells in less than an hour.

Okay, now I’m definitely drunk.

Someone tell me why I decided to drink alcohol tonight?

“Oh shit,” I hear someone curse, followed by the sound of the person bumping their head on the top of the window. I look behind me and narrow my eyes at the figure, trying to figure out who the person is. And why is the person coming out onto the roof?

“You okay?” I can’t help but ask the person. I mean, the hit of the head did sound pretty hard so I had to say something, right?

Right.

“No, I just bumped my head on a fucking window.” The person snaps as they climb out of the room and onto the window. The smell of alcohol that is coming off the person is strong -- wait, maybe that is me. Do I actually smell that bad? Oh dear lord...

“You don’t have to swear so much, you know?” I mumble, my back still against the cold tiles. My head is still slightly turned as I watch the person take a seat beside me, a bottle of vodka in his hands.

“And you don’t have to talk so much but I guess life is a bitch to all.” The voice is definitely male, I can say that. So, he shall be named... Humpty -- wait, what?

Oh who cares... definitely not me!

“And you did it again.” I say, watching as Humpty takes a huge sip of the clear liquid.

“So did you.” Humpty says after he swallows the liquid. I narrow my eyes at him but instead of saying anything -- knowing that I will just get a stupid reply -- I roll my eyes. I glance back up at the stars, quietly humming the tune of Twinkle Twinkle like I was doing before.

“Can you shut the fuck up? That’s annoying.”

“Sorry, Humpty--” I immediately cut myself off as I sit up and cover my mouth with my hands. I wasn’t supposed to say that aloud...

“Humpty? Like the egg?”

“No, the rooster--” Oh my god... sarcasm? What the hell is happening to me?

“Humpty the rooster... interesting.” Humpty says and I take my hands off of my mouth, hoping that my word vomit will just stay inside me. But of course, since I am drunk, that doesn’t happen.

“No, I was just playing with you. Humpty the egg, yes. Do you know the song? Humpty, Humpty said hello. Humpty, Humpty hit his head on the window. Humpty, Humpty swore at me. Humpty, Humpty had to pee--”

“Humpty, Humpty is going to throw you off of this roof if you don’t shut your mouth.” Humpty says, his eyes narrowing as he watches me carefully. I gulp and nod, opening the bottle of vodka and taking a sip. I cringe at the taste but swallow it so it goes away.

I lay back down on the roof and place the bottle on my thighs again as I look at the stars. Just as I am about to sing Twinkle Twinkle again, an image of Liam and Emma runs through my mind, making my heart clench. His hands rest just below her ribcage as Emma continues to kiss Liam and my mind runs to the question that has been killing me ever since I saw the photo.

What are they doing now?

“Why is Tipsy crying?” I hear Humpty ask and I look over at him, letting the tears continue to fall.

“I... I saw the guy I like kiss that... that baboon!” I cry out and Humpty frowns a little.

“Tipsy, you should never cry over a boy. It makes you look weak--”

“Maybe I am weak! That’s why no one ever likes me and I’m always alone. Maybe that’s why Mom left me...” I trail off, the tears continuing to fall down my cheeks. Humpty sighs and pats the space next to him.

“Come here.” Humpty says and I shuffle over and sit next to him, feeling his arm go around my shoulders. “Now, I may be incredibly drunk but I know when a girl is feeling lonely. But don’t worry, Tipsy, other people are going through the same thing.” Humpty explains and I look up at him.

“Are you?” I can’t help but ask and Humpty looks off to the side, a sad look on his face. He looks back over at me and nods slowly.

“My sister hung herself a year ago.” Humpty explains and I wipe my tears away, watching as Humpty closes his eyes. “I didn’t know how to cope. I was a mess -- hell, I’m still a mess today.”

“Dad has been a mess ever since Mom died. He hasn’t been sleeping well and one time, I saw him in the kitchen collapsed on the floor because he drank too much.”

“Getting drunk is better than harming yourself so I’ll give your father that.” Humpty explains and I furrow my eyebrows as I look up at him.

“Have you harmed yourself?” I ask quietly, hoping that Humpty won’t get mad. He sighs and pulls up the sleeve of his leather jacket, shinning his arm in the moonlight.

“Burnt myself, yes. I’ve covered half of it with tattoos though.” Humpty explains and I look closely, trying to see it. “Can you see it, Tipsy?” Humpty asks and my eyes widen when I catch onto the burnt skin. I gulp and pull his sleeve down.

“Don’t do that to yourself...” I mumble, wiping the tear that falls down my cheek. “You never know how it will end for you.”

“I don’t care how it ends. I just want to feel some sort of pain that my sister felt.” Humpty mumbles and I breathe out a sigh. Grabbing the bottle that is still resting against my thighs, I bring it up to my lips.

Before I drink it though, I clink it with Humpty’s bottle. “To the pain of the past.” I say and Humpty nods, taking a sip of his bottle and I do the same.

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