Chapter 1: Paword
I thought it about time I tried to put paw to keyboard to share with you the story of the many adventures that I’ve had with my two feline sisters, a dark brown rat and lizard assassin and a shaggy haired, half-witted butterfly mauler.
The stories you are about to read are all true and only names and places have been changed so as not to embarrass the many friends we met along the way.
But, if anyone does recognise him or herself then tough, you shouldn’t be reading such intellectual works if you can’t take a bit of stick.
So take me to court, see if I care!
As for our two “staff”, I decided to leave their names unaltered as they’ll just have to take their chances with the critics.
Over the years we met some really interesting characters from different parts of the world. From a hunky Abyssinian, and a sexy, sultry Siamese, to a Jackie Chan type Japanese Bobtail and a breast stroking Turkish Van, and not forgetting lots of the less fortunate “liquorice allsorts” varieties that we always seemed to be bumping into at one time or another. We must have met them all!
And if, when you are reading this, you think my grammar or syntax leaves a lot to be desired, what do you expect? I’m a feline for heaven’s sake!
P.S. It’s no good, my paw’s stuck again. I’ll have to get some help from the staff.